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How To Bottom


A Guide To Anal Sex


Ever look at gay porn and think, “How can the guys who bottom take such big dicks without any pain?” 

Tops stick it in like a glute inject and the bottoms don’t even flinch.

On top of that, the bottoms are squeaky clean –no mess, no stains, no “bacon bits.”

How in God’s pajamas do they do it? 

More importantly, how can you do it?

You’re about to find out.

We created a massive “how to bottom” treasure chest to answer every conceivable question you might have about backdoor sex.

Here’s the layout. Dive in!


• Beliefs That’ll Tighten Your Sphincter

• Anatomy: You have 3 Pain Points

• Why you need to strenthen your sphincter muscles before you can relax them

• Best Way To Relax Your Sphincter

• Most Comfortable Positions For Anal Sex

• Best Angle Of Entry For Anal Sex


• A mercifully short, illustrated guide to butt anatomy

• Find out how dirty you are without inserting a finger

• How fiber can help you bottom spotlessly

• Should you use an enema before you bottom?

• Should you use an anal douche before bottoming?


• How alcohol can hurt or help

• Pot: Will it help you be a better bottom?

• Poppers: Is the cost worth the benefit?

Topical analgesics like Anal-Eze: Yes or no?


• Great Bottoms Know They’re In Charge

• How The Best Bottoms Approach Foreplay

• How To Get The Most Out of A Top

• A Guided Tour of a Great Bottoming Session


The #1 Book on Bottoming

The Top 30 Best Selling Guides On Bottoming


• Top Articles On How To Become A Better Bottom, according to Google

• Academic Studies On Bottoming

• Top 200 Sex Bloggers

• Top 100 Sex Toy Stores Online

• Top 100 Gay Erotica Authors


OKAY, let’s get started!

Are you a newbie? You probably can’t imagine how something as big as an erect penis can fit into an orifice as small as a sphincter without causing excruciating pain.  

Are you somewhat experienced? You’ve probably bottomed before, but it hurt like hell so you gave up on it. In fact, it was as painful as you feared and while there wasn’t a shit show, there was the odd smell or tire track that kinda grossed you out.  You stopped trying even though still, to this day, you want to be more sexually versatile.

The good news for both newbies and the somewhat experienced is that bottoming is not the sexual equivalent of walking over hot coals.  You don’t have to put yourself through hell to get to the other side.  All you need is a little patience and a bit of know-how. 

The kind you’re going to get here.

Bottoming without pain requires you to look at five different areas:

• Anxieties that can tighten your sphincter

This includes what psychologists call “anticipatory anxiety.”  Basically, if you are convinced that anal sex is going to hurt like hell, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Understanding your Anatomy

Your butt has peculiarities that you must understand in order to avoid pain. For example, did you know you have two sets of sphincter muscles? And that if you only  relax one of them you will encounter lots of pain.?

• Strengthening your sphincter muscles before relaxation

 Ever try the bottom and couldn’t relax your sphincter muscles enough to avoid pain? It’s highly likely that you have an out of shape sphincter. Toned muscles are much easier to relax. Get ready for some fun and clever exercises that will help you deeply relax your butt.

• Relaxation techniques developed specifically for anal sex

You have three pain points in your butt that you must neutralize. We will show you a technique that is practically a billiard shot for painless sex.

sphincter muscle

Sphincter Relaxation

What We’re Going To Cover

external anal sphincter1. Self Defeating Beliefs

Two beliefs will prevent you from attempting or enjoying anal sex. They’ll both tense your body tighter than a camel’s ass in a sandstorm. The first is your self-talk:


The belief that anal sex hurts creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.  It renders you unable to relax, making sex painful, and thus manifesting what you dreaded. 

Psychologists call this belief “anticipatory pain.” We all experience it in different areas of our lives.  For example, if you fear needles you might feel anticipatory pain at the thought of getting a flu shot. It works emotionally, too. You could feel it about attending an ex-lover’s wedding.

Anticipatory pain is the body’s normal response to perceived threats. Your expectations of anal sex, what you believe it will be like, can either intensify or eliminate the amount of physical pain you experience.

If your self-talk is filled with the language of expected pain (“this is going to hurt like hell,”  “I’ll never walk again!” “BRACE FOR IMPACT!”) you can bet your butt will clench for its safety as hard as it can.  

Here’s what you’ll learn in this section:

→ How the negative power of dread amplifies pain

→ How to overcome anticipatory anxiety

→ How to change your self talk

→ Proof that bottoming doesn’t have to hurt

→ How to get an ironclad guarantee of no pain

rectal muscles

sphincter relaxation2. The Belief That Real Men Don’t Bottom

This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming—being labeled less than a man.  No amount of sphincter relaxation exercises, breathing patterns, and desensitization techniques can overcome a paralyzing fear of losing your masculinity. For many of us, bottoming isn’t an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it.  

Many gay men believe if they bottom they will become “a bottom.”  They fear that bottoming will create a new, unwanted identity for them; that they’ll become, ahem, the butt of everyone’s jokes.

It just may be that you haven’t been able to bottom (or been able to enjoy it) because you have so many emotional issues around the act.  If you can get away from the falsehood of bottoming as an identity and see it for what it is—an erotic activity–the more relaxed and receptive you will be.  

Here’s what you’ll learn in this section:

→ Why some guys associate bottoming with effeminacy. 

→  Why the penetrator (top) is NOT more “socially valuable” than the penetrated (bottom).

→   Why it’s a mistake to equate topping with masculinity and bottoming with femininity.

→  Why your preference for bottoming or topping says nothing about your masculinity. 

→  How to overcome limiting beliefs so you can try and enjoy gay anal sex.

rectal muscles


tight sphincter

Anatomy Lessons On

How To Loosen Sphincter Muscles


Pain Point #1:  Your Sphincter

You may only have one sphincter but you have two sets of muscles that open and close it. You are most familiar with the external sphincter muscles because you can consciously tighten and release them. 

But you also have a set of internal sphincter muscles, which you have no control over. The internal and external sphincter muscles are bands of tissues that overlap each other, surrounding both sides of the anal canal’s entrance. 

While they serve the exact same function (traffic cops guarding the anal canal ) they go about it in different ways. 

The External Sphincter Muscles

You can tell them what to do anytime you want. Here, try it.  Squinch your starfish by using the muscles that stop you from peeing.  Got it?  Tighten, release, tighten, release.  Now, this time with feeling!  Tighten, release.  Now do five fast tightens.  

Get it?  You can boss that part of your butt around.  Feel like taking a crap but there’s no bathroom around?  No problem.  You can order your external sphincter muscles not to open.  At least for a while.

The Internal Sphincter Muscles

You can’t tell these bad boys to do shit and I mean that in every sense of the word. Like your blood pressure and heartbeat, you cannot directly control the internal sphincter muscles.  

anxiety tight sphincterIllustration: Internal And External Sphincter Muscles

What You’ll Learn In This Section

→ How the internal and external sets of sphincter muscles work together (and apart)

→ How to actually feel the separate sphincter muscles with your finger

→ How the “S-sling” in your rectum creates an anal “wall” stopping a penis

→ How pubo-rectal muscles loosen and contract involuntarily

→ EYEPOPPING illustrations to aid in visual understanding

rectal muscles

rectal sphincterHow To Strengthen The Anal Sphincter Muscles

The best way to consciously relax your external sphincter is, oddly enough, to tighten it.  That’s because the first step to relaxation is awareness of its opposite–tension.   This is a key concept to bottoming without pain:  Your sphincter will relax more if you make an effort to tense it first.

Do this:  Without moving, note the tension in your shoulders.  Now physically try to relax the shoulders.  Couldn’t tell much difference, could you?  

Now, tense your shoulders by bringing them to your ears and hold that position for thirty seconds as tight as you possibly can.  Now relax your shoulders.  See how noticeably deeper the release feels?

You’ve just experienced the first law of relaxation: A build-up of tension creates a deeper release of the muscles.  The more tension the deeper the relaxation. 

In order to create more tension in your butt (for a deeper relaxation), you have to send your cheeks to the ass gym.

Here’s What You’re Going To Learn In This Section

→  The relationship between tension and relaxation–and how to exploit it.

→ Specific exercises designed for the release of sphincter muscles during anal intercourse

→  A wide assortment of exercise variations

→  What positions you should be in during the exercises

→  When to do them and how many

→  Advanced techniques

rectal muscles

relaxed anusThe Best Method For Relaxing Tight Sphincter Muscles

We assembled a (butt) crack team of proctologists, colorectal specialists, and physicians with a masterful knowledge of anatomy. We brainstormed ideas, pored over clinically-tested muscle relaxation techniques experts use in other parts of the body and developed one for the sphincter.  

Then we asked our readers to test it with their partners. We got feedback from these, ahem, end-users, and made refinements until everyone was satisfied with its effectiveness.

It’s called the :60 Sphincter Release and it’s a total game-changer. No more telling yourself, “Relax! Relax!” No more breathing exercises. No more relaxation exercises. No more Kegels. 

The :60 Sphincter Release is based on a relaxation technique called PNF, Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation. It’s going to pop open up your sex life like a can of soda.

Here’s What You’re Going To Learn

→ That you don’t insert a penis into your rectum; you relax onto it.

→ How to allow your butt to draw a penis in vs being penetrated by it

→ How the anus creates a small vacuum you can take advantage of

→ How to practice these insights with toys

→ Learn the :60 Sphincter Release method

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most comfortable way to have anal sex

Most Comfortable Positions For Anal Sex


For good anal positions, think of intercourse as a gay Super Mario Brothers video game. The guy who’s topping you, a plumber named Mario, arrives in an outlandish realm (your ass) to battle King Virgin and rescue the milky white Prince Prostate.

The king has set two main traps that keep Mario from massaging Prince Prostate and letting his waters run dry. The first is the Giant Gate we just talked about—the internal and external sphincter muscles protecting the prince with the force of a squeeze-cement job.

In the previous section you’ll have learned how to trick the sphincter into releasing its hold and voila, the Giant Gate will swing open, allowing Mario, and later his brother Luigi and depending on your inclinations, everyone in Topland, access to the Prince’s fruited plain.

But now we must concentrate on the easiest anal positions.  Immediately upon entering, Mario slams into a second trap that seems to come out of nowhere—a wall. This wall knocks Mario on his ass and causes all the minions in the puborectal kingdom to cry out in pain.

Mario doesn’t have many choices. Sure, he could try to force himself through the wall, but he wants to pleasure Prince Prostate, not put him in traction.

He certainly can’t dig under or jump over the wall because the attempt itself would put the Prince in the ICU.

What can Mario do?

In this section you’ll learn:

→ How to understand the “rectal wall” caused by the S-curve in your anal canal (with illustrations)

→ How different positions straighten out the S-curve allowing for easy, pain-free penetration (with illustrations)

→ Why some guys can take bedroom furniture inside their ass without raising an eyebrow and other guys couldn’t bottom for a gnat with erectile dysfunction.

→ How to feel your sling with your own fingers to understand its shape.

→ The absolute, hands-down, no question best position for pain-free anal sex.

→ The problem with this absolute, hands-down, no question best position for pain-free anal sex.

best positions for anal

Best Angle Of Entry Anal SexBest Angle Of Entry For Anal Sex


What angle should your partner’s penis enter you? Straight in? Pointing up? Down? Dyed, fried and laid to the side?

There is one—and only one— angle the penis should go in and it doesn’t matter what position you’re in or how much you’ve straightened your S-curve:

About 45 degrees away from your navel.

Why? Because it prevents the penis from hitting the front of your rectal wall, near the navel, where your prostate sits.

In this section you’ll learn:

→ How unless you guide the head of the penis away from the navel it will hit your prostate, an incredibly sensitive organ.

→ How you can’t angle a dick too much the other way because then it’ll hit the back of the rectal wall.

→ How to practice finding the best angle with your finger

→ What the perfect angle of entry looks like (STUNNING medical illustration!)

best angles for anal

how to prepare for analHow To Prepare For Anal Sex


Do hygiene worries stop you from bottoming? They should. Have you seen what comes out of men when they go to the toilet? It’s amazing we don’t need hazmat suits to get out of the bathroom alive!

You are absolutely justified in your hygiene fears. The thought of a partner pulling out and seeing his manhood covered in heirloom chocolate would make anyone throw themselves screaming from a helicopter.

Of course, I’m exaggerating. It is exceedingly rare to experience the kind of shit show you fear. Besides, you can avoid all of the unpleasantness—stains on the sheets, nose-scrunching odors, and general after-sex embarrassment with just a few precautions.

enema rectal sex

Jump To Articles

• A mercifully short, illustrated guide to butt anatomy

• Find out how dirty you are without inserting a finger

• How fiber can help you bottom spotlessly

• Should you use an enema before you bottom?

• Should gay men use an anal douche before bottoming?



how to get ready for analHOW SHIT WORKS


We cannot have a conversation about keeping yourself clean without a full understanding of a delicate subject: How you eliminate waste from your body.

Your fears of needing a pooper-scooper device by your bed are based on a misconception that feces are stored in the rectum. In fact, they are not. As you can see below, feces are stored in the sigmoid colon, which sits above the rectum. The Sigmoid Juncture (a type of sphincter muscle) prevents stool from entering the rectum unless you consciously allow defecation to take place.


how to get ready for anal sex
Illustration: Stool is stored in the Sigmoid Colon, not the rectum or anal canal. Unless your partner has an Anaconda for a penis, it is never going to loosen the Sigmoid Juncture, which prevents stool from entering the rectum.

Once defecation occurs, a combination of anatomical structure, neural switches, and reflex triggers make it impossible for stool to remain in your rectum. Now, often there is residue, for sure, and we’ll talk about cleaning it up later in the chapter. But for now, know that your rectum is a pipeline, not a storage device. It is the Panama Canal between the sigmoid colon and your sphincter. Ships can only pass through; they cannot anchor.

An Exception

Some guys have written to tell me they find more than residue or “bacon bits” in their rectum. Ships can get stuck and drop anchor in your Panama Canal if the Sigmoid Junction isn’t tightening properly.

If you find small boulders up there you might be also suffering from a case of mild fecal incontinence. Not enough to show up in your underwear, perhaps, but enough so that there’s actual shit stored in your rectum.

If that’s the case, put yourself on a program of pelvic floor therapy, otherwise known as Kegels. They’ll strengthen the Sigmoid Junction, along with all the muscles and tissues in the puborectal area.


How the body makes sure that things don’t ‘slip’ into the rectum accidentally. You’ll go forward with confidence knowing there’s no possibility of a ‘shit bomb’ going off!


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Find Out How Dirty You Are Without Inserting A Finger


You don’t have to stick a finger where the sun don’t shine to assess the level of fudge and sludge in your anal canal. You can just look at the toilet after you’ve deposited the remains of the day. The size, shape, and color of your poop will determine how much residue is left in your rectum.

Let’s start the analysis with the sound your stools make as they hit the toilet water. I’d like to quote Dr. Mehmet Oz’s unforgettable observation:

“You want to hear what the stool, the poop, sounds like when it hits the water. If it sounds like a bombardier, you know, ‘plop, plop, plop,’ that’s not right because it means you’re constipated. It means the food is too hard by the time it comes out. It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water [swoosh].”

After hearing the swoosh sound (hopefully) look down. Your stool should be…

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how do i prepare for anal sex

Best Fiber Pills For Bottoms


How to clean butt for anal sex? Eat enough fiber so your stool hits the toilet like an Acapulco diver. That way, a shower, and a little finger-mopping would be the only preparation you’d need before sex.

Fiber Keeps Your Shit Together

Soluble fiber dissolves in water but isn’t digested, so it absorbs excess liquid in the colon, forms a thick gel, and adds lots of bulk to your feces as it parades up Intestinal Hill and down to Rectum Road, picking up stragglers. It also softens and pushes through impacted fecal matter.

Fiber Shapes Your Shit

Ever see those old videos of Tokyo transit police using giant swab sticks to push passengers into overcrowded trains? That’s what insoluble fiber (like broccoli) does.

Since it won’t dissolve in water and can’t be absorbed by the body, it passes through your stomach essentially intact, compacting brown “passengers” into the intestinal train and giving them the best shape to go through the colon and out your anus without breaking off and leaving unwanted specimens.

Fiber Is Your Ticket To Cleanliness

This is how to clean butt before anal–by “bulking up” waste matter and shaping it for easier transit. Fiber ensures that feces leave the rectum and anal canal virtually intact, leaving you with just a smidge of sludge, a slight residue that’s easy to clean with a finger job.

The problem is that you most likely suffer from a serious fiber deficiency. How do I know? Because the American Dietetic Association says so.

The recommended fiber intake for men is 30-38 grams. The actual intake? 10-15 grams. This means, you, the average guy, eats less than half the recommended amount of fiber!

The news is worse than you think. Some health experts believe men should eat 60 grams of fiber a day.

Your mission, should you decide to accept a clean rectum, is to consistently eat about 40 grams of fiber a day. Here are a few tips on how to do that…


anal douching tips

douching anal

Anal Douching

Should You Use An Enema?


It’s only natural to want a butt so clean your partner’s penis practically sees its reflection upon entering. Will an enema or a douche get you there? Let’s investigate.

Enemas and douches are prescribed by doctors to alleviate constipation and/or clean out the rectal area before surgery. Both flush water up the rectum. As gravity forces the water down it removes toxins and waste, contracting the rectum which results in a bowel movement.

The chief difference between enemas and douches are how high up they flush and the tools they use to get the job done. Because enemas are used to treat severe constipation, they need to go up past the rectum into the colon and that usually involves tubes, syringes, and sometimes even small hoses.

Douching, on the other hand, is used to clean the rectum, not the colon. Typically, this means using a syringe, a bulb, or maybe a plastic bottle (like the Fleet brand sold in drug stores).


When gay guys use enemas they think, “Wow, my ass was a lot dirtier than I thought it was.” In reality, the enema made their rectum dirtier. See, enemas shoot water way past the rectum into the sigmoid colon, where stool is stored. The water gets past the Sigmoid Juncture, the sphincter that keeps stool from entering the rectum, and flushes the stool downward, filling your rectum with fecal matter it didn’t contain before you used the enema.

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Illustration: How Enemas Make Your Butt Dirtier


Here’s what you need to know about using enemas to clean yourself out for anal intercourse:

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douching before anal sex

Should Gay Men Douche Before Anal Sex?


First, the good news.  As you can see from the illustration below, anal douching with a bulb avoids the mess that enemas can make. They can also significantly reduce the “anal leakage” enemas can produce.

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Here’s the bad news:  Anal douching carries similar risks to using an enema, depending on what tools you’re using.  Most gay guys douche with a bottle of Fleet, an ear or ass syringe (typically a seamless 8” bulb with a detachable tip), or some type of home kit they put together. As you can see from the chart below, the risk factors for douching are lower than an enema but they still pose significant risks…

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how to be a good gay bottomHow To Be A Better Bottom   

Bottoming is the ultimate act of sexual surrender. You submit to another guy. You open wide and he fills you up. You’re being “taken,” owned. You’re somebody else’s property.

Ahh, bliss!

But how do you become a BETTER bottom?

Is to simply respond, yield, and surrender? Or is there something more?

You guessed it–a LOT more.  Let’s investigate.

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Jump To Sections



• Great Bottoms Know They’re In Charge
• How The Best Bottoms Approach Foreplay
• How To Get The Most Out of A Top
• A Guided Tour of a Great Bottoming Session

how to be a great bottom

Who’s In Charge?

If you want to know how to be the best gay bottom, you must understand a central contradiction: The guy surrendering control of his body has more power than the guy he’s surrendering it to.

Here’s what you’re going to learn in this section:

→ Why the bottom HAS TO BE in charge

→ Why the blissful surrender you seek from bottoming comes only after you’ve set the stage for it.

→ How to take charge when you’re not that type of guy

→ How to take charge when you’re bottoming for the first time

→ Why taking charge doesn’t mean barking out orders like some deranged drill sergeant or becoming a “bossy bottom.”

→ How to control the situation to have a satisfying out-of-control experience.

→ How to set the stage for your partner to take the lead.

→ In the end, you control the partner who tops you not by barking out orders, but by giving him permission. By setting the stage for him to take an action you want him to take. Find out how.

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How The Best Bottoms Approach Foreplay

You are bottoming to expand your sexual horizons and experience a new dimension of yourself and your partners. You want to feel closer to your partners; you want to give them something of yourself. You want to feel their presence inside you. You want them to dominate you. You want to submit to them. You want to give them mind-numbing pleasure. You want to get mind-numbing pleasure. You want to feel the kind of physical, sexual union that can only come from opening yourself fully to them.

To do that you must ignite your sexual imagination, staying present to the beauty of your partner’s body, and enjoying the psychological and emotional journey that being penetrated offers.

If you want to learn how to be a better bottom here is your keyword: foreplay. In this section you’ll find out:

→ What the best bottoms do to warm the path to great sex

→ Why revering your partner’s hard dick is so important to great foreplay

→ How to build anticipation with a technique called “Suspense-Resolution”–with multiple examples

→ How to “carbonate sex” using rising tension, building to a crescendo, and resolving it to orgasmic satisfaction.

→ How to use sounds and words to create an erotic feedback loop

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how to be a good bottom in a gay relationshipHow To Get The Most Out Of A Top


Want to know how to be a better bottom? Bring out the best in your top.

A skilled topping partner can make the difference between pain and glory. Unfortunately, there are few guys named glory. Gay men don’t actually have much anal sex (a study showed that only 37% of guys had anal sex in their last encounter).

This means inexperience abounds. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing until you realize an alarming number of guys learn about anal sex through porn. That’s like learning how to spell from somebody who can’t read.

Porn shows us that there’s only one way to top: Act like you flexed and the sleeves came off, take hostages and give them a back alley pounding. Your wishes mean nothing to him. Oooh, does it hurt, Princess? Shut up, it’s supposed to hurt! WHACK!

Now there’s a lot to be said for the junkyard dog school of anal sex, but for newbies hoping for a future without wheelchairs? Not so much.

On the other side of the coin, you might end up with a teacup poodle—a tender top who’s so sensitive to your feelings he doesn’t exactly fit the portrait of somebody you want to submit to. Unlike the porn stereotype, he really does care about whether it hurts, but he doesn’t know how to assert his masculinity in a sexually appealing way.

The best partner for a newbie is a romanticized version of a dom top. He’s the ideal mix of a good power driller and the dreamy husband who knows how to make love. However, this kind of lover is exceedingly hard to come by.

From a probability standpoint, the odds are that you’re going to end up with a junkyard dog, rather than an idealized lover or a teacup poodle. This means you’re going to have to take control early and often or the pain is going to turn you into a man-hating homosexual.

How to get the most out of your top depends on what type of top you’re working with. In this section of how to be a good bottom in a gay relationship you’ll learn:

→ How to spot what type of top you’re going to deal with early on

→ How to get a junkyard dog top to slow down, be more gentle, and pay attention to your needs

→ How to get a teacup poodle top to take charge, be more aggressive and dominant

→ How to invite a teacup poodle top to seduce you rather than the other way around.

→ How to keep any kind of top harder than a frozen turkey

→ How to keep a top’s erection from going soft at the worst possible moment

how to be a better gay bottom

how to be a good bottom in a gay relationship

“How To Become A Better Bottom”

A Guided Tour


“Adam and Steve” first contacted me through social media. Would I be willing to coach them through a successful session of anal sex? After dating a few months, Steve wanted to bottom for Adam but they gave up after several painful attempts. Then they decided to use my template as their guide—and asked me to augment it with coaching.

They set a date for what Steve called their “Blastoff” (the day they’d attempt intercourse) and got to work. What you’ll see in this section is everything it takes to bottom for the first time–from preparation to conclusion. It’s basically a recap of everything you need to do, including:

→ How to neutralize “anticipatory anxiety”– the belief that bottoming is going to hurt like hell, which then tenses your body so much preventing you from relaxing your sphincter. Unless you shift your belief you’re destined to encounter pain. Find out how you can do it.

→ Which fiber supplements to take if your butt is dirtier than you feel comfortable with.

→ Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter muscles (toned muscles are easier to relax)

→ How to practice insertions –with fingers

→ How to practice with a butt plug

→ How to use The :60 Sphincter Release

→ How to test positions and Angles Of Entry before the real event

→ How to clean yourself out before the blessed event

→ The importance of eating sensible foods before you have anal intercourse

→ How to engage in the right foreplay for a bottom

→ How to guide your partner’s dick inside you

→ How to control the pounding

how to be a better gay bottom

gay sex guidesResources: How To Bottom

The best blog posts, columns, websites, essays, how-to guides, and academic studies on the internet. We also include a listing of top bloggers and the best online sex toy stores.

sex and drugs

Jump To Sections

• Top Articles On How To Become A Better Bottom
• Academic Studies On Bottoming
• Top 200 Sex Bloggers
• Top 100 Sex Toy Stores Online


how to bottom

Top Articles On How To Become A Better Bottom

There is no better way to educate yourself about bottoming than to read articles from experts around the globe. These articles span the depth and breadth of gay anal intercourse.

The majority are from gay magazines and nonprofit organizations that specialize in sexuality or safe sex. Often, they are penned as personal essays, revealing the writer’s experiences and lessons learned.

Many are from sexperts and sexologists who have a commanding knowledge of anatomy, psychology, and physiology. Their therapy-focused solutions can help you sort out the intricacies backdoor sex.

Most of these articles revolve around avoiding pain, getting yourself prepared for anal sex along with the best positions and angles of entry.

We were very focused in keeping the articles as up-to-date as possible to make sure you can gain an advantage from the very latest information and insights available.

How did we get all these articles? How did we decide which ones to keep and which ones not to show? One word: Google. Our researchers basically did all kinds of Google searches using terms like “how to bottom”, how to have gay sex, how to bottom for the first time, and other pretty obvious keyword searches.

How do we know these are the best articles about bottoming on the internet? Again, because Google told us so. See, Google ranks these articles on the basis of how many websites have linked to the article. It’s the online version of social proof. Google’s thinking is, nobody is going to link to an article about bottoming unless it is really good.

We concur.

how to be a better gay bottom

how to be a good bottom for topMost Interesting Academic Studies on Gay Anal Sex

This is an interesting one. we wanted to bring you the very latest in academic research on anal intercourse in the LGBT community.  Some of these articles are pretty dense and you might have a slog to get through them but they are very well worth it.

It’s only been in the last 5 or 10 years that research into gay sex has taken off. Here you can learn the mating habits of men who have sex with men (MSM). You will learn everything from the average number of times gay men have sex to how frequently they bottom versus other sexual activities.

You’ll also find how gay men act and react to sex-dependent contexts like the HIV plague and Covid-19. One of the more interesting studies you’ll see is the one that showed gay men were actually having more sex partners during the pandemic than before it.

how to be a better gay bottom

how to be bottom gayThe Top Bloggers

There are almost 200 people who blog about sex all across the world and we have linked to all of them. This is truly a smorgasbord of different LGBTQ bloggers and sex practices. You will find everything from bottoming tips to sex toy reviews. Most of these blog posts are not exactly how to guides. They’re more like personal essays, daring adventures, not to be believed sex escapades, BDSM scenes and every number, letter and category on the subject of sex.

Here is where you will find a portal to every sexual inclination, preference, orientation, and activity that you can think of. Because believe us, if you have thought about it somebody has written about it.

how to be a better gay bottom

how to be a better bottom gayTop 100 Online Sex Toy Stores

There are hundreds of places you can buy sex toys online.

How in the name of all that vibrates are you supposed to pick the right one?

Do you have any idea how many shady operators are out there?

Don’t Get Taken To The Cleaners By A Packaged Wiener!
We’ve ranked 200 online sex toys using a formula that takes into account the following:

Google Seller Ratings: A score Google gives to online retailers based on third-party reviews conducted by Google-approved research companies.

Customer Benefit Comparisons: Companies offering the best combination of large inventories, lowest shipping, the most access to live customer service and the most generous return policies.

Domain Authority & Trust Flow Scores: Third-party ratings of ecommerce sites showing how popular they are and the level of trust Google has in them.

Sex Toy Reviewer Endorsements: We surveyed 45 sex toy reviewers to see which stores they recommended.

What You Get Out Of It: Assurance
Our rankings will help you buy the best toy at the lowest price from reputable stores with low shipping fees, generous return policies, and stellar customer service.

We are here to protect your cash!

So put that vibrating dildo on pause.

Loosen that cock ring.

Take off that strap-on.

And get that O face ready because the data you’re about to see is going to make shopping for a sex toy almost as fun as using one!


how to become a gay bottom

gay sex guidesGuides That Show You How To Bottom


People have a bottomless pit of bottoming questions so we decided to post a page on guides to anal sex.

The questions are probably familiar to you:

  • Should you use an enema before bottoming?
  • What’s the best position to avoid pain?
  • What angle of entry is most pleasurable?
  • How can you get yourself squeaky clean?
  • How can you completely relax your sphincter?
  • How can you get more pleasure out of bottoming?
  • Why does it feel like you’re being impaled by a fence post?
  • Should you use an anal douche before bottoming?

These are exactly the kinds of questions you’ll read in what is widely accepted in this most useful guide on the subject of how to bottom:

how to have anal sex


books on bottomingThe Top 30 How-To Books On Bottoming

At first, we wanted to compile the top 30 gay sex books as a service to our readers.  But when the list was completed we noticed some interesting things and decided to provide an analysis–a state of gay sex guides, if you will–along with the list.  Here are our top 3 findings:

Only A Few Actually Sell

Once you get past the first 3 or 4 top sellers in same sex manuals you’re looking at an abyss.  And even the top sellers don’t do all that well.  The #1 book, How To Bottom Without Pain or Stains sells about 5 copies a day (the author just released the 2nd edition)–and that’s counting ebook AND paperback sales. While Amazon doesn’t provide unit sales it does provide daily sales rankings for each book, which can be translated into rough estimates of actual book sales.

Discover our two other findings + a listing of the top 30 guides on bottoming.

gay sex guides


how to bottomImportant Links

How To Bottom

Know Your Butt Anatomy

Best Positions for Anal Sex

Best Angles of Entry for Anal Sex

Should You Use Poppers to Bottom?

The Best Way To Loosen Your Sphincter

How To Relax Tight Sphincter Muscles

To Loosen Your Sphincter You’ve Got To Strengthen It First

Real Men Don’t Bottom? How Toxic Masculinity Can Derail Your Sex Life

how to bottom resourcesResources

Our Favorite Articles On Intimacy, How To Bottom And Other Sexual Activities

10 Gay Bedroom Etiquette Tips--from kissing, masturbation, and multiple partners
10 Next Level Sex Tips Every Gay Guy Needs To Know. From Lubrication to Pelvic Problems and Prostatic Issues
Is Swallowing safe or safer sex? Risk of infection explained.
13 Sex Tips for Gay Men Who Think They Know it All. Sexual Contact, Sexual Desire and What It Means For Sexual Health.
17 Tips for Being a Better Top. A Guide for Tops Or Bottoms.  Or Top AND Bottoms!
17 Tips For Happier, Healthier Bottoming. And Avoiding STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)
18 Types of Sex All Gay Men Should Try At Least Once in their Lifetime. How To Get The Most Sexual Pleasure.
20 Tips to Help you Become the Ultimate Power Bottom. Anal Play With Multiple Sexual Partners.
21 Things to Know Before Loosing Your Gay Virginity
3 Tips for Guys Seeking Their First Gay Experience
5 Tip Top Sex Tips for Tops
8 Expert Tips for Bicurious Guys Ready to Explore Their Sexuality
A Beginner’s Guide to Bottoming During Sex
Back Door Advice: Same old boring sex?
Am I Gay? 12 Things to Know If You’re Questioning Your Sexuality
Can Straight Men Love Backdoor Sex? Here’s a Therapist View
Dear Straight People, This is How Gay Men Have Sex Anally, Honestly
First Time Bottoms, 5 Bottoming for Beginners Tips. Having a Sexual Relationship With Your Butthole
Gay Male Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in a long-distance relationship where you feel like a sperm looking for your egg
Gay Sex Ed: Staying Safe While Topping or Bottoming
Getting sex straight: Advice for gay men – The Daily Evergreen
Having sex with a man doesn’t make you gay
Hot Sex Tips From Gay Couples That Everyone Will Masturbate To
How do gay men have sex? – Means Happy
How Do I Know if I’m a Bottom?
How to Be a Better Bottom, What to Expect, and Which Water Based Lubricants Are Best


How to be a Bottom: A guide to being penetrated by your partner
How To Bottom Like A Porn Star
How To Bottom With Ease
How To Bottom: 8 Steps For Being A Great Bottom Partner
How to Bottom: Queer Guide to Anal Sex Part 1/ them.
How to Bottom: Queer Guide to Anal Sex Part 2
How to Get Your Boyfriend to Bottom
How to Have Gay Sex Without Being Gay
How To Have Gay Sex Without Being Gay
How to Know if You’re a Top or a Bottom
How to Prepare to Bottom
How to Safely Prep to Bottom
If Your Finding it Hard to Bottom for Your Boyfriend Try These 7 Tricks
It’s Okay To Be Gay and Not Like Anal
PSA- Now’s the Time To Learn To Bottom
Questions About Gay Sex Positions, Terms, Orgasms & More Explained
Sex Advice and Lessons From A Male Dominant
Sex in the time of Covid: Gay men begin to embrace a ‘new normal’
Sex-Starved Gay Make Couples: The Untold Secret
Shame-Free Tips on How to Be a Better Bottom
The Best Gay Sex Positions: How do gay men have sex?
The Gay Man’s Good Sex Guide
The most common myths about gay sex between men – Insider
There’s More Than One Way For Gay Men to Have Sex
Tips for Tops: Keep Your Bottom Satisfied with These 6 Tricks of the Trade
Top 10 Tips for Mind-Blowing Bottoming
Wait Should I Eat This If I’m Going to Bottom Later?
What I Learned From Teaching My Straight Friends About Gay Sex
Why Some Straight People Might Have Gay Sex
Why Straight Men Have Sex With Each Other

How do I know if I’m a bottom?

How to be a bottom

Top 10 tips for mind-blowing bottoming

Shame-Free Tips To Bottoming

A Beginner’s Guide To Bottoming For Same Sex Couples

Becoming a power bottom

Why bottoms won’t top

Asking your date if he’s a bottom (the same sex attraction chronicles)

Top scientists on sexual attraction and men’s bottoming preferences

My month with a bottom coach


gay body languageWATCH THIS!

Is the fear of being “bottom shamed” stopping you from trying or enjoying receptive anal sex? Watch our entertaining video:

Interesting Academic Studies Done On Anal Sex Between Men

Are Anal Sex Roles Associated With Preferences for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis

Factors related to condomless anal intercourse

Prevalence of anal sex pain  in male homosexuality

Prevalence of unprotected anal sex between men who have sex with men

Top, Bottom, and Versatile Anal Sex Roles in Same-Sex Male Relationships

Demographic differences between tops and bottoms (without regard to gender identity)

What happens to the rectal mucosa during male anal sex

The stigma of anal sex between men who identify as gay: An Assessment

Physical and Emotional Satisfaction at First Same-Sex Anal Sex in Young Gay and Bisexual Men Attracted To Each Other

Predictors of unprotected homosexual sex with casual partners in a national sample

top 100 sex bloggersThe Top 200 Sex Bloggers

Like reading about sex? Us, too!  What a coincidence. We put together a list of people you should definitely check out.  From G-Rated to There’s-No-Rating-For-That, our Top 200 Sex Bloggers list shows you the full spectrum of opinions, essays, reviews and articles on everyone’s favorite subject:  SEX.

The Aqua Kink
A Submissive’s Initiative
Asrai Devin
Backwoods Bedroom
Blog of a BlasianBytch
Christina Mandara
Dr. J. Author
Emmeline Peaches Reviews
Temperature’s Rising
Exhibit A
f dot leonora
Holden and Camille
Innocent Loverboy
Jiz Lee
Sex Ed 102 with Kara Sutra
Kinky World
Kitten Boheme
Love Hate Sex Cake: Musings on a Libidinous Life
Love Sex and Marriage
Minxy & caged
Minxy & caged
Ms Naughty’s Porn For Women
Mx Nillin
Ninja Sexology
Of Sex and Love
Pop My Cherry Review
Reviews By a Nerd
Ria’s Writing
Sex in Words
Smut Geek
Squeaky Bedsprings
Sweeten Dirty
The Curious Mermaid
The Little Red Schoolhouse
The Palimpsex
Viva La Sexy
Voluptasse Magazine
Sex Ed With Ashley Manta
By Aurora Glory
Feisty Fox Films
Feisty Fox Films
Feisty Fox Films
FuckBlogging (Sex Life and Everything)
I Love My Vibrators!
In Bed With Married Women
Jade Capri Blog
Just Indecerous
Mischa Eliot, Author of Smutty Works
The Perverted Negress
Monkey in a Cage Chastity Blog
My Dissolute Life
The Redhead Bedhead
Sugarbutch Chronicles
Incendiaire’s Reviews
The Story of A
Ace in the Hole
Adult Conversations
A Dissolute Life Means…
Adultsmart’s Blog
A Kinky Autistic
A Shared Wife
Girl Boner
Betty Butch
Bending the Bookshelf
Onahole Review
Candysnatch Reviews
The Casual Sex Project
Sex and the State
Coffee & Kink
Domestic Discipline, Jenny Style
Denying Thumper
Domina Jen
The Ins and Outs
Erotic Scribes
Eve Adler
Food For Thought Friday
Future of Sex
Galen Fous MTP – Fetish Sex Expert, Kink Counseling, Sex Researcher
Girly Juice
Gode Save The Queen French Sex Toy Reviewer
Her Dirty Little Heart
Hey Epiphora
I’m Still Josh
I’m Still Josh
Infernal Monkey
Insatiable Desire
The Intellectual Homosexual
Naked at Our Age by Joan Price
Juicy Sex Stories
A Sexual Being
Home for Wayward Sluts
Kinky & Nerdy
Master’s Pleasing Bitch
Merry Frolics
Miss Jezebella
Modesty Ablaze
Molly’s Daily Kiss
On Queer Street
Passion by Kait
Ruby Ryder’s Pegging Paradise
Pink Space Lime
Poly Land
Pillow Talk by Posy Churchgate
Pretty Pink Lotus Bud
Princess Previews
Quickies In New York
Rebel’s Notes
Sacred Sexualities
Sex & London City
Sex Blog (of sorts)
Sex with Rose
Sexy Fandom
Slut PhD: That’s Dr. Slut to You
Slutty Girl Problems
Slutty Girl Problems
Slutty Girl Problems
Slutty Girl Problems
Slutty Girl Problems
Spanking Theatre
Steeled Snake
Super Smash Cache
Sweetgirl’s Journal
The Big Gay Review
The Other Livvy
The Secret World of Cydney
The STI Project
Thrill of the Chaste
Toy With Me
Vagina Antics
Venus O’Hara’s Official Blog
Love, Violet
Walker Thornton
The wonderful world of Wittie
All The Frequently Unanswered Questions
Ayzad – The guide for explorers of unusual sex
Bathhouse Blues
Bella LaVey
Safety Beyond Safewords
The Sex Kitten
Bondara Blog
Bondara Blog
Bondara Blog
Bondara Blog
Sex Coach Dawn Serra
Dildo Or Dildont
Domme Chronicles
Down the Bunny Rabbit Hole
Down To There
Girl on the Net
Girl on the Net
Kink Praxis
Sex and Psychology
Life On The Swingset
NSFW Archive
NSFW Archive
Oh Joy, Sex Toy
O Miss Pearl
Red Hot Suz
You Won’t Tame this Sassy Cat
Joannes Sex Machine Reviews
Submissive Feminist
Submissive Guide
Submissive Guide
The Bator Blog
The Black Pomegranate
The Black Pomegranate
The Black Pomegranate
The Daily Flogger
Madison James
The MamaSutra – Dr. Lanae St.John
TooTimid Sex Ed
We Love Good Sex
Kink Praxis