How To Bottom Without Pain or Stains


Here’s How Guys In Their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s Are Becoming Passionate, Unstoppable Lovers Who Never Experience Pain During Squeaky-Clean Sex.


gay sex advice on bottoming for the first time


It’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror and decide…


How long will you settle for mediocrity in bed?


How long are you going to listen to other guys brag about volcanic bottoming orgasms without experiencing them yourself?


How long are you going to let fear, anxiety and a lack of knowledge keep you from experiencing the ecstasy bottoming offers?


The release that comes out of relinquishing control…


Of submitting your body to another man…


Of surrendering to his hardness…


Of submitting to his pleasure…


Of feeling powerless and out-of-control…


Of complying with his wishes…


Of offering your body in appeasement…


Of  following


Of being “obedient”…

Of bending your will to his authority…


Of feeling the presence of him inside you…





how to bottom for the first time




Face it, this is not the sex life you want.


Half-hearted attempts at bottoming, painful experiences, embarrassing episodes.


Do you want to continue missing out, being riddled with fear and anxiety?


Continue that awful, confused feeling of not knowing what to do or how to change it?


Of not fully expressing or experiencing an important part of your sexual identity?


That’s not the sex life you want.


You thought you’d be your own hero in bed.


Experience everything you were always curious about…


Always at the ready for any and all challenges…


And then life happened.


Maybe the fear and anxiety stopped you from even trying.


Or maybe you tried, but it was too much to bear.


It overwhelmed you.


It was WAY more painful than you expected.


Or maybe the hygiene issues put you off. Maybe you saw questionable stains or smelled off-putting odors.


Or maybe you’re just too afraid so you never tried in the first place.


Your partners probably didn’t help.


Some were too rough, some didn’t take enough control.


Some just didn’t know how to make you feel relaxed.


Before you knew it you gave up.


You sat on the sidelines…


Hearing your friends brag and boast…


Watching porn stars effortlessly bottom without pains, stains or odors.


And you thought to yourself, “Why can’t I do this?”


Right Now You Have a Choice


You can ride out that misery for the rest of your days.


Or you can realize that your past doesn’t define you and that you can change at any given moment.


The only thing that matters is right now.


And the decision you’ll make.


Stay where you are and die wondering?


Or rise up and become the lover you always knew you could be?


Will you finally dedicate yourself to a program that will help you experience no-pain, no-worry bottoming?


Or remain in this self-imposed prison forever?


Your new love life awaits…


You just need some help getting there.


You need a coach.


To help you break the chains of bad experiences…


To help you conquer your fears and anxieties…


And silence the negative self-talk in your head… so that you can strap a rocket to the back of your love life.




You Don’t Need More Information


If no-pain, no-worries bottoming were that easy you could just google some free info.


If that’s all it took, everyone would bottom without a problem.


Getting the sex life you want takes much more than just another 600-word article from a lifestyle blog with no real expertise.


Nah, you’ve wasted enough time spinning your wheels with that.


You’ve tried to google your way out of this and it isn’t working.


With every day that passes, it becomes more apparent that time is your most valuable commodity. You can never waste it and you can never get it back.


This reality is even harsher for gay men over 40. The clock is ticking and you need to take action NOW.


You need what you’ve never had– a coach to give you a systematic roadmap that you can follow, step by step.


A proven roadmap that has helped thousands of gay men learn how to bottom in just a few weeks.


A roadmap that’s so successful even porn stars use it as a guide.


Imagine How Different Your Sex Life Could Be Just a Few Short Weeks From Now…


How to be a better bottom


What if you could conquer your fear of pain?


Or worries about hygiene?


What if you knew which techniques guarantee painless bottoming?


Even with guys who are WELL-ENDOWED?


If you knew the strategies of preventing unsightly stains or questionable odors?


Imagine if you could bottom with ease–knowing you’re only going to experience clean, spotless PLEASURE.


How would that affect your self-confidence?


How differently would you carry yourself, and thus command attention, respect (AND DESIRE) from guys you’re attracted to?


Imagine the effect on your partners when they experience your creative energy, rock-star confidence, and unmatched knowledge and passion in bed?


How would that affect your dating life, your sex life, and your relationships?


The answer is it would change every damn thing.


Partners would marvel at your sexual energy and your friends would line up to ask how you do it.


What if You Could Finally:


• Bottom without pain?


• Completely eliminate hygiene worries?


• Stop “anticipatory anxiety” about bottoming?


• Overcome the emotional blocks that keep you from receptive sex?


• Have more confidence in the bedroom?


• Take hung guys without worries?


​• Be a better lover for your partner(s)?


• Have MASSIVE orgasms?


• Give your partner(s) MASSIVE orgasms?


• Be more physically and emotionally connected to your partner(s)?


• Burst open the sexual closet you’re locked into?


• Embrace the submissive side of yourself you haven’t fully expressed?


• Earn the approval of a dominant partner(s)?


• Willingly hand yourself over to another?


• To be the object of desire, the center of attention?


• Have the tools to explore your sexuality?


• Release what has held you back?


• Embrace what propels you forward?


Would you take me up on that offer?


Good! Then meet your coach:

Michael Alvear

Sex Advice Author, Columnist & TV Personality


As Seen In:


I’m Michael Alvear, I help gay men get the sex lives they want and deserve.


Since 2004 I’ve been a coach to thousands of gay men through my columns, books, appearances, and international TV show.


I’ve written for, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times…, The Washington Post and the Huffington Post.


My health commentaries have aired on NPR’s All Things Considered…


And I co-hosted The Sex Inspectors, a sex makeover show that aired on HBO and the UK’s Channel 4.


I’m known as the guy who ALWAYS delivers massive results for my clients.


My track record of successful transformations is unmatched.


When we work together I give you the exact strategies you need to build the sex life, mindset and relationships you want.


Today, I want to help you build a love life that makes your bedroom worth living in.


The kind of sex life that changes the way people see and think about you.


The kind of sex life that changes the way you think about yourself AND the world around you.


The kind of sex life that can literally change your life.


I want to help you become confident AF, and absolutely unstoppable in everything you do in the bedroom.




I’ve put decades of research, field-testing and writing into a complete program that will have you…


Bottoming in squeaky-clean ecstasy….


In just a few weeks.


The program includes:

how to have gay sex bottom

#1 Bestselling Gay Sex Book of All Time

(Delivered as PDF. Read it on all devices)

how to bottom gay

The #1 Best Selling Gay Sex Audiobook

(Delivered in mp3. Plays on all devices)

how to have gay sex bottoming

Erotic Medical Illustrations

(in the book and in webinars)

receptive anal sex

Special Reports

(Delivered as PDFs. Readable on all devices)

Live Webinars

Live monthly webinars where you can ask me anything you want.

best fiber for bottoming

See Which Fiber Brand Earned the #1 Spot in FDA-Approved Lab Tests.

(Delivered as PDF. Readable on all devices)

bottoming for the 1st timeGet The Whole Package

For Only $29.99

30 Day Moneyback Guarantee!

Listen, what you’re doing isn’t working.


Small changes aren’t going to get you where you want to be.


You need a whole new operating system.


And once we get that installed…


You’ll Be Able to Get Results Like These:

gay hookups app advice“I WAS DOING EVERYTHING WRONG!”

I don’t typically read self-help stuff but when I saw that there were illustrations (whoa! Erotic AND scientific) I just had to buy this package. This book took my sex life to a whole new level. I highly recommend it. Whenever I got tired of reading, I just listened to it on my way to work!


My partner is a top and I could never bottom for him because the pain was too much. But when I read about The :60 Sphincter Release technique it was like the heavens opened up. I was able to bottom THE NIGHT I BOUGHT THE BOOK. Total game changer. Ain’t nobody happier than my boyfriend, I can tell you that! I have to say, having the accompanying audiobook was incredibly convenient…and reinforcing.


We both wanted to be more versatile so we figured we would learn together. The book/audiobook is really easy to follow, packed with advice neither one of us heard before. We were surprised by how erotic some of the sections were. We ended up reading them aloud to turn ourselves on! And the fiber section? CHEF’S KISS!


Married to a woman until I came out, I was always the top. I just couldn’t figure out how to try bottoming until I grabbed this package. Filled with insights (sometimes profound), helpful illustrations and laugh-out-loud delivery, it occupies a very special place in my heart.


I have read so much about this book in the media but I never bothered to buy it because I thought, “What the hell is it going to teach me at my age?” Boy, was I wrong! I am very experienced and I learned things that had never even occurred to me before.


How Much More Time Can You Afford to Waste?


Now it’s up to you.


Are you ready to drop the excuses?


Do you truly want to level up?


Do you want to become MORE?


Are you ready to commit?


Are you ready to completely transform your love life?


The ULTIMATE INVESTMENT is the investment in yourself.


Most guys reading this page already know they need to make a change.


They’ll read every word here, nod their head in agreement, and feel the urge to do something about it.


And then they’ll back off, talk themselves out of it, and do NOTHING.


Guys, that’s not the way change happens. That’s not the way to move forward in your life. That’s not the way to fulfill your sex life.


That said, I’ll be the first to say that this program isn’t for everyone.


If you read this page and can’t relate to anything I said, then no hard feelings, but it’s probably NOT a good fit for you.




If you read this entire page, connected with the stories, and even for a second had a thought like…


“I need something like this.”


“I want to work with Michael.”


“I need to level up my sex life.”


“I want to see what this is all about.”


“I need some help.”


…then I encourage you to take the next step and try my program. With a 30-day moneyback guarantee, you have nothing to lose.


But right now, it’s time to decide.


Are you gonna keep doing the same old shit? Or are you going to join me and take control of your sex life?


I’m ready to help. I have a package with your name on it.


But the next step is up to you.


It’s time for your sex life to take off.


It’s time to experience all that bottoming has to offer.


It’s time to control your own narrative and write your own hero’s journey.


If you’re ready to finally make some massive changes, order the package.


And let’s get the fuck to work.

How to be a gay bottomGet The Whole Package

For Only $29.99

30 Day Moneyback Guarantee!

why does bottoming hurtHow Porn Stars Bottom Without Pain

A spread-eagled view of how porn star bottoms carry the cargo.


gay dating tipsEmotional Blocks That Stop You From Bottoming

How “Anticipatory pain” and a perceived loss of masculinity can put your butt in a headlock.


Why It Feels Like Being Impaled By A Fencepost

It isn’t just your sphincter causing all that pain. Take a tour of your butt.


how to bottom

The :60 Sphincter Release

A revolutionary “ass hack” that completely relaxes your sphincter in under a minute.


how to bottom gay

Using The :60 Sphincter Release With A Partner

How your partner can help you with the ass hack of the century


Best Positions and Angle of Entry

How to squeeze a Cadillac into a dog house.


butt sex gayWho’s In Charge?

Surprise! It isn’t the top.


The Secret Sauce To Hot Sex

How to make bottoming feet-in-the-air fantastic.

How To Get The Most Out Of A Top

A hungry junkyard dog is more fun than a poodle


how to have clean analAvoiding A Shit Show

Get your butt cleaner than a Disney movie.

Don’t Become Your Worst Enema

Should you use enemas and douches?


how to have clean anal sexA Guided Tour Of A Painless Bottoming Session

Watch Adam and Steve, our hot models, use the book’s advice in their sex play.

Why It Feels Like Being Impaled By A Fencepost

It isn’t just your sphincter causing all that pain. Take a tour of your butt.


Pain Point #1: Your Sphincter
You may only have one sphincter but you have two sets of muscles that open and close it. You are most familiar with the external sphincter muscles because you can consciously tighten and release them.

But you also have a set of internal sphincter muscles, which you have no control over. The internal and external sphincter muscles are bands of tissues that overlap each other, surrounding both sides of the anal canal’s entrance.

While they serve the exact same function (traffic cops guarding the anal canal ) they go about it in different ways.

The External Sphincter Muscles

You can tell them what to do anytime you want. Here, try it. Squinch your starfish by using the muscles that stop you from peeing. Got it? Tighten, release, tighten, release. Now, this time with feeling! Tighten, release. Now do five fast tightens.

Get it? You can boss that part of your butt around. Feel like taking a crap but there’s no bathroom around? No problem. You can order your external sphincter muscles not to open. At least for a while.

The Internal Sphincter Muscles

You can’t tell these bad boys to do shit and I mean that in every sense of the word. Like your blood pressure and heartbeat, you cannot directly control the internal sphincter muscles.

how to bottom gay

Do this: Put your hands in front of you as if you’re praying. Now intertwine your fingers down to the webbing and press your palms together as tight as you can. Now keep everything connected and completely relax both hands. Notice the small opening between the thumb of one hand and the index finger of the other? This is the opening to your anus. If somebody tried to poke their finger through that opening it would feel snug but it’d go in pretty easy.

Now tighten both hands as hard as you can. Notice the opening goes away. The left hand is the internal sphincter muscle you cannot directly control. The right hand is the external sphincter muscle you can control. Keeping the left hand tight as a drum, completely relax your right hand. Your right hand (external sphincter muscle) is relaxed so a slight opening was created. But your left hand (internal sphincter muscle) is so tight that it won’t let a poking finger through very easily.

How The Two Sphincters Work Together

Welcome to bottoming’s first dilemma: The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. Or more accurately, the left hand doesn’t care what the right hand is doing. The internal and external sphincter muscles can and often do work independently of each other.

The illustration below shows how it’s possible to have a tightened anal canal even with completely relaxed external sphincter muscles:

As you can see, tight internal sphincter muscles (above the head of the penis) can squeeze the anal canal even if the external sphincter muscles (on either side of the head of the penis) are consciously relaxed, thus making penetration very painful.

Conversely, it’s possible to have relaxed internal sphincter muscles and tightened external sphincter muscles. This too can cause pain because the anal canal gets squeezed together.

As you can see, tight external sphincter muscles (directly above the head of the penis) can squeeze the anal canal even if the internal sphincter muscles are consciously relaxed.

The absolute worst-case scenario occurs when both internal and external sphincter muscles are clenched. As you can see from the illustration below, the double whammy makes penetration almost impossible to achieve.

Now, imagine an erect penis trying to squeeze into a butt that tight! In order to make penetration smooth and effortless you must relax both the internal and external sphincter muscles as shown in the illustration below:

Painless bottoming requires both sets of sphincter muscles to be relaxed yet only the external set is under conscious control. This sets up an interesting dilemma. How on earth are you going to relax the internal sphincter muscles if they don’t listen to you?

We’re going to solve that riddle in the next chapter, grasshopper. For now, let’s talk about the next pain point you have to deal with….

Author Michael Alvear

How I Came Up With This Package


Ever look at gay porn and think, “How can the guys who bottom take such big, ahem, CARGO without any pain?” Tops stick it in like a glute inject and the bottoms don’t even flinch.

How in God’s pajamas do they do it? Keen to find out what delicious secrets lay behind the studio lights, I commissioned a team of researchers to interview key players in the porn industry—producers, directors, and of course, the porn stars themselves.

Salivating at the sex hacks, pain-eliminating methods, and pleasure-enhancing approaches the research would uncover, I planned to devote the entire first edition of this book to the findings. But when I saw what shockingly stupid, inherently dangerous approaches the porn industry took toward bottoming, I knew my book was ruined. I put my head down on the table and loudly pronounced all four e’s in “shit.”

That was a few years ago, before the first printing of my book when I ended up using the research strictly as examples of what not to do. For the second edition, I wanted to revisit the idea of a “secret” to pain-free bottoming, but this time instead of looking for one in porn; I created one in real life.

I assembled a (butt) crack team of proctologists, colorectal specialists, and physicians with a masterful knowledge of anatomy. We brainstormed ideas, pored over clinically-tested muscle relaxation techniques experts use in other parts of the body and developed one for the sphincter.

Then we asked my readers to test it with their partners. We got feedback from these, ahem, end-users, and made refinements until everyone was satisfied with its effectiveness.

It’s called the :60 Sphincter Release and it’s a total game-changer. No more telling yourself, “Relax! Relax!” No more breathing exercises. No more relaxation exercises. No more Kegels.

The :60 Sphincter Release is based on a relaxation technique called PNF, Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation. It’s going to pop open up your sex life like a can of soda.

Next, I wanted this second edition to have what no other gay sex book has ever had: Graphic, no-holds-barred, in-your-face medical illustrations. The kind you won’t see on Google Images or even in the gay-friendliest medical journals.

My instructions to the graphic designer were simple: “I want you to gross me out and turn me on.” I’m happy to say he succeeded. The illustrations look like an anatomy professor wore X-ray glasses to a porn shoot. They will give you a profound understanding of the mechanics underlying anal sex…and yes, a slight but unmistakeable stiffy.

You’re welcome.

Seriously, these illustrations will give you “aha” moments words can’t. It’s one thing to read about what happens to the puborectal muscles when a penis enters the anus. It’s another to actually see it.

It’s one thing to read about where the prostate is in relation to the head of the penis during penetration; it’s another to see it visually represented.

And it’s one thing to hear about what happens to the shape of your anal canal when a penis is inserted from different angles; it’s another to see it in action.

I’ve been writing about gay sex for over twenty years. I starred in an international hit TV show called The Sex Inspectors that aired in 12 countries, including HBO in the U.S. and Channel 4 in the UK. I’ve also written several sex books and write a popular, syndicated column called Need Wood? Tips For Getting Timber.

All this experience in giving sex advice leads me to believe that you probably fall into one of two types of guys. First is the newbie. You probably can’t imagine how something as big as an erect penis can fit into an orifice as small as a sphincter without causing excruciating pain.

You’re probably also afraid of the mess you might leave behind on the sheets. Some guys live in mortal fear that bottoming will create a “shit show” that stains their psyches as well as their sheets.

If you’re the second type of guy you’re not a newbie. You’ve bottomed before, but it hurt like hell so you gave up on it. In fact, it was as painful as you feared and while there wasn’t a shit show, there was the odd smell or tire track that kinda grossed you out. You stopped trying even though still, to this day, you want to be more sexually versatile.

The good news for both types of guys is that bottoming is not the sexual equivalent of walking over hot coals. You don’t have to put yourself through hell to get to the other side. All you need is a little patience and a bit of know-how.

The kind you’re going to get in this book/package. Thanks for taking a chance, handsome!

All the best,


What is your return policy?


Our policy is simple: if, within 30 days from the time you order the package, you’re not completely satisfied with your purchase for any reason, all you have to do is send us an email at [email protected] and we will cheerfully refund 100% of the costs with no questions asked.


We want our customers to be completely satisfied with their purchase and we are confident that you will be. In fact, the vast majority of our customers are completely satisfied with their purchase and rarely, if ever, take advantage of our money-back guarantee.


However, we understand that everyone’s needs are different, and that’s why we want to make sure that you have the peace of mind of knowing that you can return your purchase if it doesn’t meet your expectations. 


Our money-back guarantee is a testament to our commitment to providing you with high-quality products that meet your needs and exceed your expectations.


So, if you’re not completely satisfied with your purchase for any reason, simply send us an email at [email protected] within 30 days from the time you ordered the package, and we will issue you a full refund with no questions asked.


How can I be sure my payment information is safe and secure?


We take security very seriously, and we have implemented a number of measures to ensure that your payment information is protected. 


We use state-of-the-art encryption technology to safeguard your sensitive information, so you can be confident that your data is being transmitted securely. 


In addition, we work with trusted payment processors who adhere to strict security protocols to ensure that your payment information is safe.


We also take steps to protect against fraud and unauthorized access. Our systems are designed to detect and prevent fraudulent activity, and we monitor transactions around the clock to identify and address any issues quickly.


How can I be sure you won’t sell my information?


We’re committed to protecting your personal information. We adhere to industry best practices for data security and privacy, and we will never sell or share your information with third parties without your consent.


We also believe that transparency is key when it comes to online payments. We will always be upfront about our payment policies and procedures, and we will work with you to address any concerns you may have.


How will I receive the books, reports and audiobook?


Our purchasing process is simple and straightforward. As soon as your payment goes through, you will receive a download link for all the products included in the package. 


This includes the main book, How To Bottom Like A Porn Star, the Special Reports, and the Fiber Best For Bottoming white paper.


All of these products will be delivered as PDF files, which are readable on all devices and operating systems. This means that whether you’re using a PC, a Mac, a tablet, or a smartphone, you will be able to access your purchase and start learning right away.


In addition, you’ll also get an audiobook version of How To Bottom Like A Porn Star, which will be delivered as MP3 files. These files can also be listened to on any device and on any operating system, giving you the flexibility to learn on-the-go.


Overall, our purchasing process is designed to be quick and easy, and you can start learning and improving your skills as soon as your payment goes through. We are committed to providing you with high-quality products that are accessible and easy to use, so you can get the most out of your investment.

The books, audiobooks and special reports in this package are informed by peer-reviewed research published in some of the most academic journals. 

This ensures that the information we provide is reliable and accurate.

Peer-reviewed research is an essential aspect of academic publishing, and it involves subjecting research papers to the scrutiny of experts in the same field before they are accepted for publication. This rigorous process ensures that the research is of the highest quality and that the findings are supported by robust evidence.

By basing our books and reports on peer-reviewed research, we are providing you with trustworthy and authoritative information that you can rely on to make informed decisions. Our content is backed by years of research and expertise, giving you a competitive edge in learning about your sexuality

We take pride in our commitment to providing you with the highest quality content, and our use of peer-reviewed research is just one of the many ways we ensure this. 

We are confident that our books and reports will exceed your expectations and provide you with valuable insights that you can apply in your personal and professional life. Here are just some of the sources we used to inform our teaching package:

Kinsey Institute





Oxford Academic


Science Direct


The Lancet

How To Bottom For The First Time

(Taken from the book)


What angle should your partner’s penis enter you? Straight in? Pointing up? Down? Dyed, fried and laid to the side?

There is one—and only one— angle the penis should go in and it doesn’t matter what position you’re in or how much you’ve straightened your S-curve:

About 45 degrees away from your navel.

Why? Because it prevents the penis from hitting the front of your rectal wall, near the navel, where your prostate sits. Look:

Illustration: Penis Hitting Front Wall of Anal Canal

Angle Anal Sex

Unless you guide the head of the penis away from the navel it will hit your prostate, an incredibly sensitive organ. You can’t angle his dick too much the other way because then it’ll hit the back of the rectal wall.

Illustration: Penis Hitting Back Wall Of Anal Canal


Angle of entry anal sex bottom

Remember your finger poking your left palm at ninety degrees? When you moved the back of your left palm toward the floor by 45 degrees it straightened the S-curve, making it easier to proceed, albeit with some friction.

But when you raised the angle of your right finger by 45 degrees? Magic! It slid along the “rectal wall” of your palm easily and without resistance. If you want to understand how this works for real, get in the shower with a lubed up finger.


Squat and insert your finger toward your navel.

Doesn’t feel so good, does it? You’re hitting the prostate which sits just on the other side of the front rectal wall, near your navel.

Now insert your finger away from your navel.

Doesn’t feel so good, does it? You’re hitting the back of the rectal wall.

Now this time insert your finger away from your navel by about 45 degrees. Notice you didn’t feel a stabbing sensation? Nothing hurt. That’s because your finger went in through the “hallway” between the front and back rectal wall.

If your partner penetrates you with his dick pointed at the correct angle it will look something like this:


Illustration: Erect Penis Penetrating With A 45 Degree Angle AWAY From Navel

what angle for anal sex bottoming


Now there’s an image that’ll make a non-smoker light up a cigarette! Notice how everything fits tight and right. The penis isn’t hitting the prostate or the back of the rectal wall. Like a good running back, it’s running up the middle.

Pain-free penetration is a matter of degrees. Not too far up, not too far down. Think of it as the Goldilocks version of fucking:

Too High

Angle Anal Sex

Too Low

Angle of entry anal sex bottom

Just Right

what angle for anal sex bottoming

This knowledge is going to be rocket fuel for your love life. Mario is jumping up and down with joy and Prince Prostate is gushing at the thought of producing more milk than a dairy farmer.

Everybody’s happy except King Virgin, last seen requesting flood assistance from FEMA because he knows it’s going to be raining men.


how to bottomImportant Links

How To Bottom

Know Your Butt Anatomy

Best Positions for Anal Sex

Best Angles of Entry for Anal Sex

Should You Use Poppers to Bottom?

The Best Way To Loosen Your Sphincter

How To Relax Tight Sphincter Muscles

To Loosen Your Sphincter You’ve Got To Strengthen It First

Real Men Don’t Bottom? How Toxic Masculinity Can Derail Your Sex Life