How To Relax Tight Sphincter Muscles
For Painless Anal Sex
Ever look at gay porn and think, “How can the guys who bottom take such big dicks without any pain?” Tops stick it in like a glute inject and the bottoms don’t even flinch.
How in God’s pajamas do they do it?
More importantly, how can you do it?
You’re about to find out.
Jump To Sections
• Beliefs That’ll Tighten Your Sphincter
• Anatomy: You have 3 Pain Points
• Why you need to strenthen your sphincter muscles before you can relax them
• Best Way To Relax Your Sphincter
• Most Comfortable Positions For Anal Sex
• Best Angle Of Entry For Anal Sex
Are you a newbie? You probably can’t imagine how something as big as an erect penis can fit into an orifice as small as a sphincter without causing excruciating pain.
Are you somewhat experienced? You’ve probably bottomed before, but it hurt like hell so you gave up on it. In fact, it was as painful as you feared and while there wasn’t a shit show, there was the odd smell or tire track that kinda grossed you out. You stopped trying even though still, to this day, you want to be more sexually versatile.
The good news for both newbies and the somewhat experienced is that bottoming is not the sexual equivalent of walking over hot coals. You don’t have to put yourself through hell to get to the other side. All you need is a little patience and a bit of know-how.
The kind you’re going to get here.
Bottoming without pain requires you to look at five different areas:
• Anxieties that can tighten your sphincter
This includes what psychologists call “anticipatory anxiety.” Basically, if you are convinced that anal sex is going to hurt like hell, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• Understanding your Anatomy
Your butt has peculiarities that you must understand in order to avoid pain. For example, did you know you have two sets of sphincter muscles? And that if you only relax one of them you will encounter lots of pain.?
• Strengthening your sphincter muscles before relaxation
Ever try the bottom and couldn’t relax your sphincter muscles enough to avoid pain? It’s highly likely that you have an out of shape sphincter. Toned muscles are much easier to relax. Get ready for some fun and clever exercises that will help you deeply relax your butt.
• Relaxation techniques developed specifically for anal sex
You have three pain points in your butt that you must neutralize. We will show you a technique that is practically a billiard shot for painless sex.
What We’re Going To Cover
1. Self Defeating Beliefs
Two beliefs will prevent you from attempting or enjoying anal sex. They’ll both tense your body tighter than a camel’s ass in a sandstorm. The first is your self-talk:
“THIS IS GOING TO HURT”
The belief that anal sex hurts creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. It renders you unable to relax, making sex painful, and thus manifesting what you dreaded.
Psychologists call this belief “anticipatory pain.” We all experience it in different areas of our lives. For example, if you fear needles you might feel anticipatory pain at the thought of getting a flu shot. It works emotionally, too. You could feel it about attending an ex-lover’s wedding.
Anticipatory pain is the body’s normal response to perceived threats. Your expectations of anal sex, what you believe it will be like, can either intensify or eliminate the amount of physical pain you experience.
If your self-talk is filled with the language of expected pain (“this is going to hurt like hell,” “I’ll never walk again!” “BRACE FOR IMPACT!”) you can bet your butt will clench for its safety as hard as it can.
Here’s what you’ll learn in this section:
→ How the negative power of dread amplifies pain
→ How to overcome anticipatory anxiety
→ How to change your self talk
→ Proof that bottoming doesn’t have to hurt
→ How to get an ironclad guarantee of no pain
2. The Belief That Real Men Don’t Bottom
This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming—being labeled less than a man. No amount of sphincter relaxation exercises, breathing patterns, and desensitization techniques can overcome a paralyzing fear of losing your masculinity. For many of us, bottoming isn’t an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it.
Many gay men believe if they bottom they will become “a bottom.” They fear that bottoming will create a new, unwanted identity for them; that they’ll become, ahem, the butt of everyone’s jokes.
It just may be that you haven’t been able to bottom (or been able to enjoy it) because you have so many emotional issues around the act. If you can get away from the falsehood of bottoming as an identity and see it for what it is—an erotic activity–the more relaxed and receptive you will be.
Here’s what you’ll learn in this section:
→ Why some guys associate bottoming with effeminacy.
→ Why the penetrator (top) is NOT more “socially valuable” than the penetrated (bottom).
→ Why it’s a mistake to equate topping with masculinity and bottoming with femininity.
→ Why your preference for bottoming or topping says nothing about your masculinity.
→ How to overcome limiting beliefs so you can try and enjoy gay anal sex.
Anatomy Lessons On
How To Loosen Sphincter Muscles
YOU HAVE THREE PAIN POINTS
Pain Point #1: Your Sphincter
You may only have one sphincter but you have two sets of muscles that open and close it. You are most familiar with the external sphincter muscles because you can consciously tighten and release them.
But you also have a set of internal sphincter muscles, which you have no control over. The internal and external sphincter muscles are bands of tissues that overlap each other, surrounding both sides of the anal canal’s entrance.
While they serve the exact same function (traffic cops guarding the anal canal ) they go about it in different ways.
The External Sphincter Muscles
You can tell them what to do anytime you want. Here, try it. Squinch your starfish by using the muscles that stop you from peeing. Got it? Tighten, release, tighten, release. Now, this time with feeling! Tighten, release. Now do five fast tightens.
Get it? You can boss that part of your butt around. Feel like taking a crap but there’s no bathroom around? No problem. You can order your external sphincter muscles not to open. At least for a while.
The Internal Sphincter Muscles
You can’t tell these bad boys to do shit and I mean that in every sense of the word. Like your blood pressure and heartbeat, you cannot directly control the internal sphincter muscles.
Illustration: Internal And External Sphincter Muscles
What You’ll Learn In This Section
→ How the internal and external sets of sphincter muscles work together (and apart)
→ How to actually feel the separate sphincter muscles with your finger
→ How the “S-sling” in your rectum creates an anal “wall” stopping a penis
→ How pubo-rectal muscles loosen and contract involuntarily
→ EYEPOPPING illustrations to aid in visual understanding
How To Strengthen The Anal Sphincter Muscles
The best way to consciously relax your external sphincter is, oddly enough, to tighten it. That’s because the first step to relaxation is awareness of its opposite–tension. This is a key concept to bottoming without pain: Your sphincter will relax more if you make an effort to tense it first.
Do this: Without moving, note the tension in your shoulders. Now physically try to relax the shoulders. Couldn’t tell much difference, could you?
Now, tense your shoulders by bringing them to your ears and hold that position for thirty seconds as tight as you possibly can. Now relax your shoulders. See how noticeably deeper the release feels?
You’ve just experienced the first law of relaxation: A build-up of tension creates a deeper release of the muscles. The more tension the deeper the relaxation.
In order to create more tension in your butt (for a deeper relaxation), you have to send your cheeks to the ass gym.
Here’s What You’re Going To Learn In This Section
→ The relationship between tension and relaxation–and how to exploit it.
→ Specific exercises designed for the release of sphincter muscles during anal intercourse
→ A wide assortment of exercise variations
→ What positions you should be in during the exercises
→ When to do them and how many
→ Advanced techniques
The Best Method For Relaxing Tight Sphincter Muscles
We assembled a (butt) crack team of proctologists, colorectal specialists, and physicians with a masterful knowledge of anatomy. We brainstormed ideas, pored over clinically-tested muscle relaxation techniques experts use in other parts of the body and developed one for the sphincter.
Then we asked our readers to test it with their partners. We got feedback from these, ahem, end-users, and made refinements until everyone was satisfied with its effectiveness.
It’s called the :60 Sphincter Release and it’s a total game-changer. No more telling yourself, “Relax! Relax!” No more breathing exercises. No more relaxation exercises. No more Kegels.
The :60 Sphincter Release is based on a relaxation technique called PNF, Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation. It’s going to pop open up your sex life like a can of soda.
Here’s What You’re Going To Learn
→ That you don’t insert a penis into your rectum; you relax onto it.
→ How to allow your butt to draw a penis in vs being penetrated by it
→ How the anus creates a small vacuum you can take advantage of
→ How to practice these insights with toys
→ Learn the :60 Sphincter Release method
Most Comfortable Positions For Anal Sex
For good anal positions, think of intercourse as a gay Super Mario Brothers video game. The guy who’s topping you, a plumber named Mario, arrives in an outlandish realm (your ass) to battle King Virgin and rescue the milky white Prince Prostate.
The king has set two main traps that keep Mario from massaging Prince Prostate and letting his waters run dry. The first is the Giant Gate we just talked about—the internal and external sphincter muscles protecting the prince with the force of a squeeze-cement job.
In the previous section you’ll have learned how to trick the sphincter into releasing its hold and voila, the Giant Gate will swing open, allowing Mario, and later his brother Luigi and depending on your inclinations, everyone in Topland, access to the Prince’s fruited plain.
But now we must concentrate on the easiest anal positions. Immediately upon entering, Mario slams into a second trap that seems to come out of nowhere—a wall. This wall knocks Mario on his ass and causes all the minions in the puborectal kingdom to cry out in pain.
Mario doesn’t have many choices. Sure, he could try to force himself through the wall, but he wants to pleasure Prince Prostate, not put him in traction.
He certainly can’t dig under or jump over the wall because the attempt itself would put the Prince in the ICU.
What can Mario do?
In this section you’ll learn:
→ How to understand the “rectal wall” caused by the S-curve in your anal canal (with illustrations)
→ How different positions straighten out the S-curve allowing for easy, pain-free penetration (with illustrations)
→ Why some guys can take bedroom furniture inside their ass without raising an eyebrow and other guys couldn’t bottom for a gnat with erectile dysfunction.
→ How to feel your sling with your own fingers to understand its shape.
→ The absolute, hands-down, no question best position for pain-free anal sex.
→ The problem with this absolute, hands-down, no question best position for pain-free anal sex.
Best Angle Of Entry For Anal Sex
What angle should your partner’s penis enter you? Straight in? Pointing up? Down? Dyed, fried and laid to the side?
There is one—and only one— angle the penis should go in and it doesn’t matter what position you’re in or how much you’ve straightened your S-curve:
About 45 degrees away from your navel.
Why? Because it prevents the penis from hitting the front of your rectal wall, near the navel, where your prostate sits.
In this section you’ll learn:
→ How unless you guide the head of the penis away from the navel it will hit your prostate, an incredibly sensitive organ.
→ How you can’t angle a dick too much the other way because then it’ll hit the back of the rectal wall.
→ How to practice finding the best angle with your finger
→ What the perfect angle of entry looks like (STUNNING medical illustration!)