How To Be A Better Bottom
Bottoming is the ultimate act of sexual surrender. You submit to another guy. You open wide and he fills you up. You’re being “taken,” owned. You’re somebody else’s property.
But how do you become a BETTER bottom?
Is to simply respond, yield, and surrender? Or is there something more?
You guessed it–a LOT more. Let’s investigate.
Jump To Sections
• Great Bottoms Know They’re In Charge
• How The Best Bottoms Approach Foreplay
• How To Get The Most Out of A Top
• A Guided Tour of a Great Bottoming Session
• Resources–the best articles on bottoming
Who’s In Charge?
If you want to know how to be the best gay bottom, you must understand a central contradiction: The guy surrendering control of his body has more power than the guy he’s surrendering it to.
Here’s what you’re going to learn in this section:
→ Why the bottom HAS TO BE in charge
→ Why the blissful surrender you seek from bottoming comes only after you’ve set the stage for it.
→ How to take charge when you’re not that type of guy
→ How to take charge when you’re bottoming for the first time
→ Why taking charge doesn’t mean barking out orders like some deranged drill sergeant or becoming a “bossy bottom.”
→ How to control the situation to have a satisfying out-of-control experience.
→ How to set the stage for your partner to take the lead.
→ In the end, you control the partner who tops you not by barking out orders, but by giving him permission. By setting the stage for him to take an action you want him to take. Find out how.
How The Best Bottoms Approach Foreplay
You are bottoming to expand your sexual horizons and experience a new dimension of yourself and your partners. You want to feel closer to your partners; you want to give them something of yourself. You want to feel their presence inside you. You want them to dominate you. You want to submit to them. You want to give them mind-numbing pleasure. You want to get mind-numbing pleasure. You want to feel the kind of physical, sexual union that can only come from opening yourself fully to them.
To do that you must ignite your sexual imagination, staying present to the beauty of your partner’s body, and enjoying the psychological and emotional journey that being penetrated offers.
If you want to learn how to be a better bottom here is your keyword: foreplay. In this section you’ll find out:
→ What the best bottoms do to warm the path to great sex
→ Why revering your partner’s hard dick is so important to great foreplay
→ How to build anticipation with a technique called “Suspense-Resolution”–with multiple examples
→ How to “carbonate sex” using rising tension, building to a crescendo, and resolving it to orgasmic satisfaction.
→ How to use sounds and words to create an erotic feedback loop
How To Get The Most Out Of A Top
Want to know how to be a better bottom? Bring out the best in your top.
A skilled topping partner can make the difference between pain and glory. Unfortunately, there are few guys named glory. Gay men don’t actually have much anal sex (a study showed that only 37% of guys had anal sex in their last encounter).
This means inexperience abounds. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing until you realize an alarming number of guys learn about anal sex through porn. That’s like learning how to spell from somebody who can’t read.
Porn shows us that there’s only one way to top: Act like you flexed and the sleeves came off, take hostages and give them a back alley pounding. Your wishes mean nothing to him. Oooh, does it hurt, Princess? Shut up, it’s supposed to hurt! WHACK!
Now there’s a lot to be said for the junkyard dog school of anal sex, but for newbies hoping for a future without wheelchairs? Not so much.
On the other side of the coin, you might end up with a teacup poodle—a tender top who’s so sensitive to your feelings he doesn’t exactly fit the portrait of somebody you want to submit to. Unlike the porn stereotype, he really does care about whether it hurts, but he doesn’t know how to assert his masculinity in a sexually appealing way.
The best partner for a newbie is a romanticized version of a dom top. He’s the ideal mix of a good power driller and the dreamy husband who knows how to make love. However, this kind of lover is exceedingly hard to come by.
From a probability standpoint, the odds are that you’re going to end up with a junkyard dog, rather than an idealized lover or a teacup poodle. This means you’re going to have to take control early and often or the pain is going to turn you into a man-hating homosexual.
How to get the most out of your top depends on what type of top you’re working with. In this section of how to be a good bottom in a gay relationship you’ll learn:
→ How to spot what type of top you’re going to deal with early on
→ How to get a junkyard dog top to slow down, be more gentle, and pay attention to your needs
→ How to get a teacup poodle top to take charge, be more aggressive and dominant
→ How to invite a teacup poodle top to seduce you rather than the other way around.
→ How to keep any kind of top harder than a frozen turkey
→ How to keep a top’s erection from going soft at the worst possible moment
“How To Become A Better Bottom”
A Guided Tour
“Adam and Steve” first contacted me through social media. Would I be willing to coach them through a successful session of anal sex? After dating a few months, Steve wanted to bottom for Adam but they gave up after several painful attempts. Then they decided to use my template as their guide—and asked me to augment it with coaching.
They set a date for what Steve called their “Blastoff” (the day they’d attempt intercourse) and got to work. What you’ll see in this section is everything it takes to bottom for the first time–from preparation to conclusion. It’s basically a recap of everything you need to do, including:
→ How to neutralize “anticipatory anxiety”– the belief that bottoming is going to hurt like hell, which then tenses your body so much preventing you from relaxing your sphincter. Unless you shift your belief you’re destined to encounter pain. Find out how you can do it.
→ Which fiber supplements to take if your butt is dirtier than you feel comfortable with.
→ Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter muscles (toned muscles are easier to relax)
→ How to practice insertions –with fingers
→ How to practice with a butt plug
→ How to use The :60 Sphincter Release
→ How to test positions and Angles Of Entry before the real event
→ How to clean yourself out before the blessed event
→ The importance of eating sensible foods before you have anal intercourse
→ How to engage in the right foreplay for a bottom
→ How to guide your partner’s dick inside you
→ How to control the pounding
Resources to Help You Become A Better Bottom
Is the fear of being “bottom shamed” stopping you from trying or enjoying receptive anal sex? Watch our entertaining video: