How To Do Anal For The First Time
An Illustrated Guide of Butt Anatomy
There’s an apocryphal tale of an engineer who gave up on a difficult challenge. “I don’t have a solution,” he said. “But I admire the problem.”
It’s the same with bottoming. Although I do have a solution you can only get to it by admiring the problem–the one that fills the back of your jeans. Without a basic lesson in anatomy, nothing I say in the coming chapters is going to make sense.
YOU HAVE THREE PAIN POINTS
Pain Point #1: Your Sphincter
You may only have one sphincter but you have two sets of muscles that open and close it. You are most familiar with the external sphincter muscles because you can consciously tighten and release them.
But you also have a set of internal sphincter muscles, which you have no control over. The internal and external sphincter muscles are bands of tissues that overlap each other, surrounding both sides of the anal canal’s entrance.
While they serve the exact same function (traffic cops guarding the anal canal ) they go about it in different ways.
The External Sphincter Muscles
You can tell them what to do anytime you want. Here, try it. Squinch your starfish by using the muscles that stop you from peeing. Got it? Tighten, release, tighten, release. Now, this time with feeling! Tighten, release. Now do five fast tightens.
Get it? You can boss that part of your butt around. Feel like taking a crap but there’s no bathroom around? No problem. You can order your external sphincter muscles not to open. At least for a while.
The Internal Sphincter Muscles
You can’t tell these bad boys to do shit and I mean that in every sense of the word. Like your blood pressure and heartbeat, you cannot directly control the internal sphincter muscles.
Illustration: Internal And External Sphincter Muscles
Do this: Put your hands in front of you as if you’re praying. Now intertwine your fingers down to the webbing and press your palms together as tight as you can. Now keep everything connected and completely relax both hands. Notice the small opening between the thumb of one hand and the index finger of the other? This is the opening to your anus. If somebody tried to poke their finger through that opening it would feel snug but it’d go in pretty easy.
Now tighten both hands as hard as you can. Notice the opening goes away. The left hand is the internal sphincter muscle you cannot directly control. The right hand is the external sphincter muscle you can control. Keeping the left hand tight as a drum, completely relax your right hand. Your right hand (external sphincter muscle) is relaxed so a slight opening was created. But your left hand (internal sphincter muscle) is so tight that it won’t let a poking finger through very easily.
How The Two Sphincters Work Together
Welcome to bottoming’s first dilemma: The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. Or more accurately, the left hand doesn’t care what the right hand is doing. The internal and external sphincter muscles can and often do work independently of each other.
The illustration below shows how it’s possible to have a tightened anal canal even with completely relaxed external sphincter muscles:
Illustration: Relaxed External Sphincter Muscles + Tightened Internal Sphincter Muscles
As you can see, tight internal sphincter muscles (above the head of the penis) can squeeze the anal canal even if the external sphincter muscles (on either side of the head of the penis) are consciously relaxed, thus making penetration very painful.
Conversely, it’s possible to have relaxed internal sphincter muscles and tightened external sphincter muscles. This too can cause pain because the anal canal gets squeezed together.
Illustration: Tightened External Sphincter Muscles + Relaxed Internal Sphincter Muscles
As you can see, tight external sphincter muscles (directly above the head of the penis) can squeeze the anal canal even if the internal sphincter muscles are consciously relaxed.
The absolute worst-case scenario occurs when both internal and external sphincter muscles are clenched. As you can see from the illustration below, the double whammy makes penetration almost impossible to achieve.
Illustration: Tightened External Sphincter Muscles + Tightened Internal Sphincter Muscles
Now, imagine an erect penis trying to squeeze into a butt that tight! In order to make penetration smooth and effortless you must relax both the internal and external sphincter muscles as shown in the illustration below:
Illustration: Relaxed External Sphincter Muscles + Relaxed Internal Sphincter Muscles
Painless bottoming requires both sets of sphincter muscles to be relaxed yet only the external set is under conscious control. This sets up an interesting dilemma. How on earth are you going to relax the internal sphincter muscles if they don’t listen to you?
We’re going to solve that riddle in the next chapter, grasshopper. For now, let’s talk about the next pain point you have to deal with.
Pain Point #2: Your S-Sling
You own a sling?
It’s deep in your dungeon where it belongs. The puborectal sling is a strong ring of supportive muscle that creates a curve in the rectum. You’re not the only thing that isn’t straight, you know. Neither is your rectum. The sling pulls the lower end of the rectum toward your belly button.
This is important to know because the S-curve caused by the sling is responsible for pain point #2. The more the sling pulls the lower rectum toward the navel, the more pronounced your S-curve will be. Why would that create pain during sex? Because the S-curve creates a “rectal wall” your partner’s penis will ram into. It’ll feel like you’re getting rammed by the business end of a baseball bat.
Pain Point #3: Your Puborectal Muscles
You have muscles across the entire puborectal region. Pain during anal sex can be caused by a simple law of nature: The muscles in your body contract when you insert something into them.
The puborectal region is not used to being penetrated. It will interpret the penetrating object as an invading army that must be repelled. All the muscles, fibers, and tissues in the area will contract when you insert a foreign object, making it exceedingly difficult to bottom. These contractions are simply the body trying to protect itself. We’ll talk later about how to neutralize this natural reaction, but for now, let’s review.
YOU HAVE THREE PAIN CENTERS
1. The Sphincter
The internal and external muscles surrounding the sphincter work together (and apart) to keep things in or out. Sometimes they work independently of each other, which is a bummer because it makes complete relaxation a bit trickier. Think of your hands clasped together tightly. If one hand loosens but the other doesn’t, it’s harder to get a finger through the hole. If both hands loosen the finger slides in easily.
It’s fairly easy to relax your external sphincter muscles because they obey conscious commands. The internal sphincter muscles? Not so much. Your challenge is to relax both sets of muscles so that a penis can get through them without causing pain.
2. The S-Curve Caused By The Puborectal Sling
Even if you get past the gatekeeping sphincter muscles, you still have to deal with the puborectal sling. It forces the lower end of the rectum to curve toward the navel, thus creating a situation where the incoming penis hits the anal wall at almost 90 degrees. The pain will make you wish impotence on your partner.
3. Puborectal Contractions
The body knows that the best way to repel an invading force is to shut everything down tightly. Because the puborectal region is only used to things going out of it, the attempt to put something into it is going to be met with withering skepticism. Muscles in the surrounding area will clamp down hard and make you pay dearly for your impertinence.
No Butts About It
You’re in for a world of pain if you attempt to bottom without having a strategy to address the three obstacles we’ve talked about. Fortunately, we are about to get one.
Glory awaits.
Hey, did you like our illustrations? They came from How To Bottom Like A Porn Star, a fabulous book on bottoming. Check it out because we only showed you the tame illustrations!
Important Links
Best Angles of Entry for Anal Sex
Should You Use Poppers to Bottom?
The Best Way To Loosen Your Sphincter
How To Relax Tight Sphincter Muscles
To Loosen Your Sphincter You’ve Got To Strengthen It First
Real Men Don’t Bottom? How Toxic Masculinity Can Derail Your Sex Life