Why It Feels Like Being Impaled By A Fencepost

It isn’t just your sphincter causing all that pain. Take a tour of your butt.

YOU HAVE THREE PAIN POINTS

Pain Point #1:  Your Sphincter
You may only have one sphincter but you have two sets of muscles that open and close it. You are most familiar with the external sphincter muscles because you can consciously tighten and release them. 

But you also have a set of internal sphincter muscles, which you have no control over. The internal and external sphincter muscles are bands of tissues that overlap each other, surrounding both sides of the anal canal’s entrance. 

While they serve the exact same function (traffic cops guarding the anal canal ) they go about it in different ways. 

The External Sphincter Muscles

You can tell them what to do anytime you want. Here, try it.  Squinch your starfish by using the muscles that stop you from peeing.  Got it?  Tighten, release, tighten, release.  Now, this time with feeling!  Tighten, release.  Now do five fast tightens.  

Get it?  You can boss that part of your butt around.  Feel like taking a crap but there’s no bathroom around?  No problem.  You can order your external sphincter muscles not to open.  At least for a while.

The Internal Sphincter Muscles

You can’t tell these bad boys to do shit and I mean that in every sense of the word. Like your blood pressure and heartbeat, you cannot directly control the internal sphincter muscles.  

Do this:  Put your hands in front of you as if you’re praying.  Now intertwine your fingers down to the webbing and press your palms together as tight as you can.  Now keep everything connected and completely relax both hands.  Notice the small opening between the thumb of one hand and the index finger of the other?  This is the opening to your anus.  If somebody tried to poke their finger through that opening it would feel snug but it’d go in pretty easy.  

Now tighten both hands as hard as you can. Notice the opening goes away. The left hand is the internal sphincter muscle you cannot directly control.  The right hand is the external sphincter muscle you can control.  Keeping the left hand tight as a drum, completely relax your right hand.  Your right hand (external sphincter muscle) is relaxed so a slight opening was created.  But your left hand (internal sphincter muscle) is so tight that it won’t let a poking finger through very easily.

How The Two Sphincters Work Together

Welcome to bottoming’s first dilemma:  The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.  Or more accurately, the left hand doesn’t care what the right hand is doing. The internal and external sphincter muscles can and often do work independently of each other. 

The illustration below shows how it’s possible to have a tightened anal canal even with completely relaxed external sphincter muscles: 

As you can see, tight internal sphincter muscles (above the head of the penis) can squeeze the anal canal even if the external sphincter muscles (on either side of the head of the penis) are consciously relaxed, thus making penetration very painful. 

Conversely, it’s possible to have relaxed internal sphincter muscles and tightened external sphincter muscles.  This too can cause pain because the anal canal gets squeezed together.

As you can see, tight external sphincter muscles (directly above the head of the penis) can squeeze the anal canal even if the internal sphincter muscles are consciously relaxed. 

The absolute worst-case scenario occurs when both internal and external sphincter muscles are clenched. As you can see from the illustration below, the double whammy makes penetration almost impossible to achieve. 

Now, imagine an erect penis trying to squeeze into a butt that tight!  In order to make penetration smooth and effortless you must relax both the internal and external sphincter muscles as shown in the illustration below:

Painless bottoming requires both sets of sphincter muscles to be relaxed yet only the external set is under conscious control. This sets up an interesting dilemma. How on earth are you going to relax the internal sphincter muscles if they don’t listen to you?

We’re going to solve that riddle in the next chapter, grasshopper.  For now, let’s talk about the next pain point you have to deal with….

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 Table Of Contents

 Chapter 1:  How Porn Stars Bottom Without Pain

Chapter 2: Emotional Blocks That Stop You From Bottoming

Chapter 3:  Why It Feels Like Being Impaled By A Fencepost

Chapter 4:  The :60 Sphincter Release, A New Technique That Completely Relaxes Your Sphincter in Under a Minute

Chapter 5:  Using the :60 Sphincter Release With A Partner

Chapter 6:  Best Positions and Angle of Entry

Chapter 7:  Who’s In Charge? It Ain’t the Top!

Chapter 8:  How To Be The Best Bottom In Town

Chapter 9: How To Get The Most Out Of A Top

Chapter 10: Avoiding A Shit Show

Chapter 11:  Don’t Become Your Worst Enema. Should you use enemas and douches?

Chapter 12: A Guided Tour Of A Painless Bottoming Session

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Introduction

Ever look at gay porn and think, “How can the guys who bottom take such big dicks without any pain?” Tops stick it in like a glute inject and the bottoms don’t even flinch.

How in God’s pajamas do they do it? Keen to find out what delicious secrets lay behind the studio lights, I commissioned a team of researchers to interview key players in the porn industry—producers, directors, and of course, the porn stars themselves.

Salivating at the sex hacks, pain-eliminating methods, and pleasure-enhancing approaches the research would uncover, I planned to devote the entire first edition of this book to the findings. But when I saw what shockingly stupid, inherently dangerous approaches the porn industry took toward bottoming, I knew my book was ruined. I put my head down on the table and loudly pronounced all four e’s in “shit.”

That was a few years ago, before the first printing of this book when I ended up using the research strictly as examples of what not to do. For the second edition, I wanted to revisit the idea of a “secret” to pain-free bottoming, but this time instead of looking for one in porn; I created one in real life.

I assembled a (butt) crack team of proctologists, colorectal specialists, and physicians with a masterful knowledge of anatomy. We brainstormed ideas, pored over clinically-tested muscle relaxation techniques experts use in other parts of the body and developed one for the sphincter.

Then we asked my readers to test it with their partners. We got feedback from these, ahem, end-users, and made refinements until everyone was satisfied with its effectiveness.

It’s called the :60 Sphincter Release and it’s a total game-changer. No more telling yourself, “Relax! Relax!” No more breathing exercises. No more relaxation exercises. No more Kegels.

The :60 Sphincter Release is based on a relaxation technique called PNF, Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation. It’s going to pop open up your sex life like a can of soda.

Next, I wanted this second edition to have what no other gay sex book has ever had: Graphic, no-holds-barred, in-your-face medical illustrations. The kind you won’t see on Google Images or even in the gay-friendliest medical journals.

My instructions to the graphic designer were simple: “I want you to gross me out and turn me on.” I’m happy to say he succeeded. The illustrations look like an anatomy professor wore X-ray glasses to a porn shoot. They will give you a profound understanding of the mechanics underlying anal sex…and yes, a slight but unmistakeable stiffy.

You’re welcome.

Seriously, these illustrations will give you “aha” moments words can’t. It’s one thing to read about what happens to the puborectal muscles when a penis enters the anus. It’s another to actually see it.

It’s one thing to read about where the prostate is in relation to the head of the penis during penetration; it’s another to see it visually represented.

And it’s one thing to hear about what happens to the shape of your anal canal when a penis is inserted from different angles; it’s another to see it in action.

I’ve been writing about gay sex for over twenty years. I starred in an international hit TV show called The Sex Inspectors that aired in 12 countries, including HBO in the U.S. and Channel 4 in the UK. I’ve also written several sex books and write a popular, syndicated column called Need Wood? Tips For Getting Timber.

All this experience in giving sex advice leads me to believe that you probably fall into one of two types of guys. First is the newbie. You probably can’t imagine how something as big as an erect penis can fit into an orifice as small as a sphincter without causing excruciating pain.

You’re probably also afraid of the mess you might leave behind on the sheets. Some guys live in mortal fear that bottoming will create a “shit show” that stains their psyches as well as their sheets.

If you’re the second type of guy you’re not a newbie. You’ve bottomed before, but it hurt like hell so you gave up on it. In fact, it was as painful as you feared and while there wasn’t a shit show, there was the odd smell or tire track that kinda grossed you out. You stopped trying even though still, to this day, you want to be more sexually versatile.

The good news for both types of guys is that bottoming is not the sexual equivalent of walking over hot coals. You don’t have to put yourself through hell to get to the other side. All you need is a little patience and a bit of know-how.

The kind you’re going to get in this book.

 

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