Is Your Boyfriend A Sexual Camel?

(You know, somebody who can go great lengths of time without sex).

A recent letter:

 I am 25, and have the sex drive of an 18-year-old.  My boyfriend of almost 7 years is 32, and has the sex drive of a 60-year-old.  It seems like the only time we have sex is when he is in the mood, or when I am almost “forcing” him to.  I can usually get him into the mood by doing different things to seduce him, but he is never the one to initiate sex.  We have tried several different things, with no improvement.  What can we do to get his sex drive up to where it should be?

—  Horny

Dear Horny:

At 32, he should be stuffing you like a Thanksgiving turkey every time you gobble.  I seriously doubt there’s a medical problem but you gotta start there–my advice isn’t going to work for something like diabetes or low testosterone.  Honestly, I’m not that good.

Have him bring a list of all medicines he’s taking, prescription or not.  Everyone knows anti-depressants can heave your ‘ho right out the door, but did you know that popular over-the-counter drugs like Tagamet, Zantac, Benadryl and Aleve may do it too?  Any drug that affects your hormones, nerves or blood circulation has the potential to make Willy Nilly.   If he goes to the doctor and finds out you’re the only problem he’s got, then here’s what he needs to do:

1.  Have ‘Flicker Stage’ Sex.  High libido people report dramatic stirrings in their stomachs (among other places) while low libido people don’t.  That means horn-dogs like you get dramatic physiological triggers (raging hard-ons) that demand a response.  Or at least, a mouth.  But low libido guys don’t get those kind of noticeable cues.   Typically, they don’t get hard *until* they have sex.  Even when they’re turned on, they’re more likely to feel burning coals than raging fires.  That’s why it’s important that he initiate sex on the slightest impulse.  Ask any fireman—a spark is all you need to turn wood into a spectacle.

2.  Don’t wait for the mood to strike, strike into the mood.   Imagine going to the gym only when you felt like it.  You’d get so fat waiters would hand you an estimate.  To prevent that most people have a routine—they knock back an energy drink, crank up the music, and do a few warm-ups.  Just like your boyfriend figured out how to get himself to the gym when he doesn’t feel like pumping iron, he’s gotta figure out how he gets himself to bed when he doesn’t feel like pumping you.

He can start by telling you what makes him hot under the collar.   Is it a massage?  Porn?  Sudoku?  Whatever it is, get good at it.  If you want more sex, you’ve got to get better at making his cucumber rise out of the salad.  Pay attention to what he responds to and make mental notes.  Be his idea of a great lover, not yours.

3.  Have sex even when he doesn’t feel like it.   Almost everybody’s experienced a time when they didn’t feel like having sex, “gave in” to their partner and ended up having the time of their lives.  He needs to do that.  Not always but just enough to understand you can start out not wanting it and end up not getting enough.   Having sex when you’re not horny is like eating food when you’re not hungry.   Sometimes a sniff of the hot dog makes you want to put the whole thing in your mouth.

Would You Tell One Friend The Other Had HIV Before They Hooked Up?

 

So, my friend “Dave” told me about a year ago that he is HIV positive.  I’m not. I went clubbing with a different friend, “Steve”, also negative, when we ran into Dave. Immediate sparks ignited between Dave and Steve.

I debated if I should say anything to Steve about Dave’s HIV status but decided it was their business to discuss, not my own.  They ended up going back to Dave’s apartment.  Apparently, Dave revealed his status to an unsuspecting Steve and those sparks were quickly extinguished.

Now, Steve is no longer speaking to me because he feels as though I should have said something sooner, so, as I suspect, he could have blown off Dave sooner.  Which is sad.  Both are great guys, and they could have missed out on getting to know someone really cool, or they could be missing out on some hot sex.  Should I have told Steve about Dave’s status? Or was I right to keep my trap shut?

— Trapped in the middle

Dear Trapped:

I’ve spent weeks thinking about your dilemma, changing my mind every 15 minutes, and getting splitting headaches in the bargain.  In fact, I’ve been popping so much Ibuprofen, Advil sent me a thank you letter for propping up their stock.

I even called a couple of psychologists and counselors to see what they had to say. Here’s the transcript of a conversation I had with one of them–the gay, and more importantly, hot, New York City-based psychologist, Dr. Brad Thomason:

Me:  Was he right for keeping silent?

Doc:  Yes.  It isn’t your responsibility to broadcast other people’s medical conditions.

Me:  But isn’t it irresponsible to say nothing and take the risk that somebody you love might get infected?

Doc:   People should take responsibility for their own health.  Taken to its ultimate conclusion what you’re saying is that you have the obligation to tell everybody who might sleep with “Dave” that he’s positive.

Me:  It’s hard to disagree with what you’re saying but I keep thinking, what’s more important–keeping a friends’ confidence or keeping a friend safe?

Doc:  That’s not the right question.  The right question is who is responsible for your health—you or your friends?

Me:  I take your point, but I don’t think you’re getting mine.  Are we not our brother’s keepers?

Doc:  Yes, if those brothers are unable to take care of themselves.  If they’re mentally impaired, or demonstrably ignorant about HIV that’s a different story.

Me:  Or if they’re so stupid they think it’s possible to kill a fish by drowning it.

Doc:  I’m going to ignore that.  My point is that you’re not the alarm system for fully functioning friends.

Me:  What if they’re drunk or high?

Doc:  They made a choice to drink or use.  Are you going to police that, too?

Me:  Are you kidding?  I’d be the one pouring!

So much for the transcript; here’s my bottom line:  I would have told “Steve” that “Dave” was HIV.

Why?  When philosophy meets reality, logic flies out the window.  If I’m asked to choose between an abstraction like personal responsibility and the well being of a close friend, I would rather be intellectually inconsistent than emotionally tortured.  I’m not passing judgment on you because there are good arguments on both sides.  The only person who needs a wake-up call is negative Steve.  First, he should have asked before they left the bar.  Second, he gave up a night or maybe a life with an awesome guy just because he’s HIV?  What a schmuck.

Are The Problems Of Being Single Worse Than The Problems Of Being In A Relationship?

I was in London’s Soho Pizzeria with two friends—one trying to make his relationship work; the other trying to make anything work. After a bottle and half of red, I threw out a question that made the pepperoni curl:  Are the problems of being single worse than the problems of being in a relationship?

It’s like asking which is the worst way to die—drowning or getting shot.  It just depends on the kind of pain you’re not into.  I don’t think we came to a conclusion (wine does that), but I’d say being single redlines the misery index.

If you’re single, you’re pretty much ruled by a primal “Skin hunger.”  Not just down-n-dirty (and seemingly always unresolved) horniness, but a profound longing for physical touch.

Being in a relationship has its own problems but the skin hunger is usually met in some way.  Even if you’re having little or no sex, there’s usually some physicality involved, even if it’s just the presence of somebody else in the room.  You might not have sex but you probably sleep together, hold hands, and give or get the odd kiss.  Which of course keeps the skin hunger from slipping into starvation.

As my single friend and my ‘relationship’ friend traded miseries, I thought to myself:  Why is it that when we get into a relationship we forget the relentless skin hunger that drove us crazy when we were single?

QUESTION:

I’m moving in with my boyfriend in a few months.  I care about him very much, and I want to be with him, but part of me also wants to have one last “fling” before we make the step to move in together.  Should I allow myself to take a dip in the pool one last time?

— Slightly Confused

Dear Confused:
I love how you say “one last fling” as if you’re about to get into a committed relationship rather than already being in one. I understand it, though. It’s the same mentality I had the first time I moved in with a boyfriend. Instead of focusing on the reasons I wanted to live together (“I love him, he makes me laugh, he’s got a mean, hateful cock”) I started thinking, “OMFG! He’s the last guy I’m ever going to have sex with!”

And really, if that thought doesn’t make you panic I don’t know what will.

You’re also probably thinking, “It’s going to be impossible to trick once we live together so I better do it now.” Well, stop worrying. You’ll find a way. Men always do. Anyhow, you wouldn’t have asked my permission if you didn’t already know it was wrong. Instead of rationalizing an infidelity why don’t you neutralize it by taking to your boyfriend about it? Bring it up in a joking way. Like, “Do you ever get afraid that I’m the last guy you’ll ever sleep with? Do you ever think about having ‘one last fling?'”

You might be surprised at his answer. And the “permission” you might actually get. But there’s a more important reason to talk about it-to start an on-going dialogue about monogamy. Are you going to treat it as a necessary evil, something you both want, or a bored game by Milton Bradley? Don’t set yourselves up to be one of those couples that break up over “the silent issue.” Things shouldn’t end because one partner crossed a boundary that was never discussed.

If you don’t want to have a conversation with him then I say don’t have a fling.  Cheating is no way to start out a new life together.

When He Has Time For Sex But Not Dinner

 

My column gets a lot of “BGO” questions—the kind whose answers contain a Blinding Glimpse of the Obvious.  They’re almost always about dating a guy who’s meeting you a quarter of the way. He’s paying just enough attention to show that he likes you but not enough to make anything real out of it.

It’s not that he doesn’t text you.  It’s that he’s responding to every other one of yours.   It’s not that he doesn’t want to see you, but he doesn’t make a great effort to. The sex is fantastic but dinner seems out of the question.

The truth is, he’s sending you a message but you’re too deaf to hear it.  And the hearing loss is directly proportional to how loud he’s yelling.

Exhibit A, from a recent column:

Yo, Mike!

I met this guy last Friday and we spent the entire weekend together.  We then spent Monday night together, took a break Tuesday night, and then spent Thursday night together.   I’m totally crushing on him, but he’s like, “I don’t go on dates, I’m more into just having “friends” and “hanging out.”   Am I wasting my time trying to pursue a relationship with someone who just wants to be “friends”?

– Crushed Out

 

I used to answer these BGO questions with rapid-fire insults.  Like, “You idiot.  He doesn’t want to be with you—he wants to be in you!”

But then I started to get so many of them I realized either there are a lot of idiots in the world or something else is going on.  And of course, there is:  Self-delusion.  Hope, lust and longing can make you deaf, dumb and blind.  I know, not just from the letters I get, but from experience.  The hope that he wants you as much as you want him clouds your judgment.  You start interpreting his actions based on what you want the truth to be rather than what it is.

So, I’m trying not to insult people as much as I used to, though old habits are hard to break.  Instead, I try to get them to see it from a different perspective.  Here’s the short answer I gave to “Crushed Out”:

‘The Clue Bus smashed into your living room and you’re in the back yard looking for it.  Read your email again and pretend it’s from a friend asking for your advice.  I promise you’ll smack right into the bus.  Hop on board and back it up.’

This one isn’t a question; more of an observation

So, I’m at a wedding and I spot this hot waiter serving wine behind a table.  I walk over, hand him my glass and before I could put my claws in him…

WHOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!

Another waiter came out of nowhere, took the glass out of my hand and poured me a new one.

COCK-BLOCKED!

By the time I realized what happened, the hot waiter was serving other guests and I was stumbling back to my table.  Now, was that an innocent turn of events or a diabolical plot to keep me away?

Or more to the point, did the cock-blocker know he was blocking?

“Maybe,” my friend T said, “but I doubt it.  The self-aware cock-blocker tends to be the ugly best friend who’s in love with you–the guy who tells an embarrassing story about you in front of the guy you’re interested.”

True, but there is always the curious case of the clueless cock-blocker.  I’ve been with friends who’ve seen me having an obvious “moment” with somebody yet they will not excuse themselves from the conversation.  Once, I called a friend on it, and he was like, “Oh, I didn’t realize you were interested in him.”  Never mind that my crotch was sending out five-alarm smoke signals and the other guy inhaled them with a bong.

Still, I’ve come to realize that what’s obvious to you isn’t so obvious to others.  If I even think a friend has the potential to hook up with somebody we’re both talking to, I excuse myself and let the pants fall where they may.  But I’m attuned to that sort of thing and some guys just aren’t.

There are guys who live under the credo, “If I can’t have him, you should.”  There are people who think, “If I can’t have him, you won’t.”  And there are people who think, “Do you like my shoes?”

But the best are people who take their “Interference Awareness” to a whole other level.  Like my friend B, who said: “I’m my biggest cock-blocker.”

LOVE AIN’T ENOUGH

 

That’s a bitter pill to swallow. Or as a slightly oversexed friend likes to say, a bitter pillow to bite.

When you’re in a relationship you realize love has all the limitations of glue:  It can’t stick if the parts don’t fit. I thought about all this when I bumped into an ex-boyfriend, who reminded me of a column I wrote about our break-up.  It was the first time I had ever written about love, and I remember being startled by the emotional response it got:

Our relationship ended after six or seven years.  That I couldn’t remember exactly when we met or how long we’d been together was a constant source of irritation to him.  Enraged at my memory lapses, he would introduce me as “my boyfriend, Ronald Reagan.”

We fought for all the reasons people fight-money, misunderstanding, lust, and trust.  At first, problems came at us with all the weight of mid-summer snowflakes.  They melted before we even had the chance to flick them off.  But winter crept in and suddenly nothing would melt.  There was no avalanche, really.  I guess the snow just built up and caved the roof in. 

We drifted into a trial separation.  He got more clarity and I got more distant.  One day the phone rang.  He looked at the caller ID.

“Who is it?” I asked.  “You,” he answered.

Confused, I walked over and saw what the caller ID flashed:   “UNAVAILABLE.”

I wonder if men are really capable of working things out in a relationship.  We have what it takes to love but do we have what it takes to stay?  Straight men can barely stay with women; what are the odds gay men can stay with each other?

We want our relationships to last like trees, stately oaks with deep roots that last forever.  But our relationships endure more like perennials, barely scratching the topsoil, coming back again and again in bloom-and-doom boomerangs.

Our relationship boomeranged from one end of the spectrum to the other, but our love didn’t.  It was so palpable, so present.  But people who think that’s all you need to keep a relationship going are wrong.  And single, too.  Only the unmarried think you can save a relationship with more love.

My love never changed, but my dreams did.  And so did his.  The steadiness of our affection and the changes in our aspirations met like an irresistible force crashing into an immovable object.  The only thing left standing was our dogs.

In the final moments before he left, we hugged and cried for so long I didn’t think we’d ever let go of each other.  I joked and told him I was crying because I felt so bad for him, that I knew how hard it would be to live without me.  He said he was crying because I was holding him so tight.

As he pulled away in his rented truck, I realized what happened in his rear-view mirror is what happened in his heart.  I got smaller and smaller until I was no longer there.

I waved until the truck pulled out of sight.  Only once before, at my brother’s funeral, had grief overwhelmed me with such force.

Now I’m single, at an age where I remember thinking “I could never date anyone that old.”   But I’m also at the point where I can appreciate the deal brokered between age and wisdom.  Life does not take youth and beauty away from you; you are released from them.  And one of the things this bittersweet freedom allows is the capacity to experience profound love.  Like I did, for six or seven years.

Gay Dating & The Dead Cat Bounce

 

Everybody who’s single goes through the “Dead Cat Bounce.”  Wall Street uses the term when the stock market plunges, bounces up, and then continues dying.  Dating’s like that.  There you are, in a date-less free-fall, when you suddenly meet somebody great, bounce up, and think your industry sector is on the rise.  But then it doesn’t work and you plummet like the Dow Jones Average after news of a big oil spike.

Never confuse short-term hope with the Dead Cat Bounce.  Otherwise your diary is going to look something like this:

Thursday

Met a dreamy guy named Jake.  Problem is, he’s giving me that classic “come here/go away” vibe. He introduced himself at the bar, said he’s wanted to meet me for a long time and then 10 minutes later he leaves without saying goodbye.  I saw him a few days later at a party.  He sneaks up behind me, whispers “How are you, handsome?” and gives me a hug.  And 10 minutes later he leaves without saying goodbye.  What am I missing?  He always acts so interested but he never stays put long enough to get my claws in him.

Friday

Jake emailed and asked me out for Saturday night!  Or at least I think he did.  I swear, if he were the editor of a fashion magazine it’d be called Vague.

Saturday

My plan:  Charm the pants off him.  I’m taking him to three different places.  This will create energy and a quick change of scenery as his ambivalence moves from lusting after me to forgetting my name to wanting to marry me.

 Jake’s loft.  8:00 p.m.   Awkward as hell.  Greeted me by shaking my hand.  Shaking my hand!

Drinks.  8:15 p.m.   I made sure our hands touched at the bar; I made sure our legs touched under the table.  I tried to make sure my signals were unmistakable.  No dice.  He pulls away.  But he seems to moon over me, his wide-set brown eyes seemingly incapable of looking away from me.

Restaurant.  9:00 p.m.  Better.  When I touched his hand on the table he didn’t pull away.  Incremental steps in a restaurant make for great leaps in the bedroom, I always say.

Dessert.  10:30 p.m.  We walk over to the place next door and get ice cream cones.  Come on, Jake, ask me for a taste, I think.  I want to see you lick my cone.  I offer him some.  “No thanks,” he says.  Rats.

 Jake’s loft.  11:05 p.m.  We’re sitting on the couch.  I make my move.  He makes a counter-move.  I give up; he moves in.  I respond; he pulls away.  

Shit.

I guess I could have tried my best to seduce him, but I don’t want to feel like I manipulated somebody into bed.  He yawns and says he has to get up early in the morning.  At the door I went to shake his hand.  He pulls me into him and gives me a deep, soulful kiss.  Then he nudges me out the door and shuts it.

Monday

Good news:  Jake called me after our “date.”  Great news:  He wants to go out again.  Bad news:  He wants to do it in 3 weeks.

Well, I don’t think you have to know algebra to do the math on that one.  In a few weeks I got a text saying the worst three words you can hear in the dating world:

*  Let’s

*  Be

*  Friends

And in that order, too.

 

 

How To Meet Guys On Facebook Part 2

The Photo Strategy

 

Let me get straight to the point: You’re doomed if you don’t post good pictures on Facebook. And lots of them.

At the risk of stating the obvious, men think with their eyes (and sometimes act with their crotch). You have got to get over the idea that you can attract or meet good-looking guys without lots of high-quality pictures.

I’m harping on this for a reason: It astounds me how many guys get online with no pictures, one or two pictures, bad pictures or some combination of the three.

Imagine you’re buying a car and you’re at the manufacturer’s website. You see pictures that are so fuzzy or taken from so far away you can’t decide if it’s a car or a truck. Would you visit the dealer?

Of course not. So why do you think people will visit your lot if you use the same photo strategy?

There is absolutely no excuse for not posting a lot of good quality pictures on Facebook. Before we get into advice on how to take good pictures of yourself, let’s talk about the ways that Facebook allows you to post pictures and what silo or section they appear in.

Facebook let’s you upload pictures into two different categories:

Albums

You can create as many albums as you want. This is where you post pictures from specific events, vacations, etc. This is truly for your friends and family–to share memories of good times. Most guys will not spend much time on your albums unless they already know you.

They know a lot of those pictures won’t be of you and of the ones that are, they’ll have to pick you out of the crowd. That’s sometimes hard to do if they’ve never met you.

Post whatever pictures you want in the Album section–it’s meant for you, your family and friends, not to bait hotties. Later on you will see a powerful trick you can use in your Album section that will entice guys to look, but first you have to understand a few concepts.

For now, know that almost all of the picture-taking advice in this series will be devoted to the next category….

Profile Pictures

This is truly the only section that matters for meeting guys. They instinctively know to look there if they really want to know what you look like. And BELIEVE ME, they want to know what you look like.

Again, all the advice you read below is aimed for pics that will go into Profile Pictures, not Albums. Pay attention to a couple of rules:

Quality Over Quantity

Putting too many pictures in the profile section makes you look so conceited that guys will think you bow every time you hear thunder. Aim for between 12-16 pictures max.

Make Sure You’re The Only One In The Pics

Don’t include family or friends. There’s a reason Facebook called the section “Profile.” It’s to give people a good idea of who YOU are; not the people you’re close with.

With that, let’s get into recommendations that are guaranteed to light up your message box.

Give Good Face

If we’re honest, we’re all asking one thing when we’re looking for which photos to post: “Do I look cute?” But not everyone is as chiseled as a European model or photographs like one. Which leads some of us (cough, cough—not you, of course) to fib about our photo selves.

Serious mistake. You think nobody’s going to notice the 20 pounds or the 10-year age difference when you walk in the door? What are you going to say when guys greet you in shock, “I didn’t lie, Orca has a swimmer’s body too.”

No, no, no. The best way to figure out which pictures to post is to ask yourself this question:

Do I actually look like these pictures TODAY?

If the answer is, “No,” start over. You want photos that accurately reflect you at your best.

Here are some guidelines for posting the hottest and most REALISTIC photos of yourself:

Take more than 50 digital photos of yourself.

Yes, 50. At least. In different settings, too. Here’s why. If you’re like the rest of us you’re going to hate most of your pictures, so you need a lot to choose from.

Avoid Self-Portraits.

An awkward picture from an awkward angle with your arm over your head is never attractive. In fact, it tells us that you:

• Are lazy. Or at least not very imaginative.
• Don’t have many friends or they would have taken the pictures for you.
• Are slightly creepy. Because most people who photograph themselves end up looking a little bit serial-murderish. (It’s not your fault—it’s the angle.)

If you’re too embarrassed to ask anybody to take your pictures at least use the automated function in your camera. Seriously, the difference is dramatic.

Do Not Leave Room For Doubt About What You Look Like

I can’t tell you how many guys post pictures in the profile section that are fuzzy, unclear or taken from so far away you don’t know if you’re looking at him or the back of a deer.

Bad move. It’s critical that you upload lots of good pictures that make guys certain they know what you look like. First, it shows that you’re confident with your appearance. And let’s face it—confidence is sexy. Even if you’re not gorgeous, great photos showing your best self in a relaxed, happy manner cracks open the door of opportunity.

Second, clear pictures erase doubt about what you look like. The #1 reason guys don’t meet other guys online is that they’re suspicious of the guy’s pictures (they’re fuzzy or there are not enough of them or they don’t match, etc.). This is probably the most critical aspect of meeting hotter guys: DO NOT LEAVE ROOM FOR DOUBT ABOUT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.

Look at some of the questions recently asked in research done on dating apps (it applies to Facebook too):

Question #1:

“What is the principal reason that you hesitate to contact or respond to a guy you’re initially attracted to?”

Answer: His pictures made me doubt what he looks like in real life.

 

Question #2:

“What is the principal reason that you hesitate or refuse to ask for a man’s number after you showed him initial interest?”

Answer: His pictures made me doubt what he looks like in real life.

 

Question #3:

“What is the principal reason that you hesitate or refuse to meet a guy if you’ve talked to him on the phone?”

Answer: His pictures made me doubt what he looks like in real life.

 

Question #4:

“Have you ever failed to show up after agreeing to meet a man online, and if so what was the principal reason?”

Answer: His pictures made me doubt what he looks like in real life.

The research is clear

If you want to eliminate the flake & fake factor, if you want to increase the number of emails you get, if you want him to ask for your phone number, if you want him to arrange a meeting and actually show up, DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY REASON TO QUESTION YOUR PICTURES.

What’s the best way to do that? With my Rule of Threes, which we’ll cover in the next installment in the series.

 

Gay Dating Resources

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What If You Can’t Or Won’t Use PreP

 

There are many of us who can’t take PreP (medical conditions that make taking it too dangerous or an inability to afford it) or won’t (many people don’t want to ingest such a powerful drug, leery of the long term effects).

Gay men who can’t or won’t take PreP have to make peace between their medical and emotional health. We have been living out a profound dilemma for decades and it all comes down to this: life isn’t worth living without sex, but sex isn’t worth dying over. Every gay man lives in relationship to the suffocating contradiction.

How do we steer through the enormous forces that play into our sexuality? How do we  stay safe, not just from HIV but from every sexual harm, when biological drives emotional hunger and physical longing combines to overpower logical thought?

As a sex advice columnist, the letters I get on this subject fairly ache with the pain of the struggle. Every new infection is a gong that vibrates through the gay community, reminding us of our awful dilemma. Despite the existence of PreP, 40,000 people get infected each year in the U.S. 

Unfortunately, we can’t seem to turn to safe-sex experts for guidance. Yes they’re bright, educated and well-informed. But have you ever noticed how unhelpful they are? They all sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Talk to one of them. Ten bucks says you end up more confused than when you started.

Most of the emails I get on the subject express mass confusion and exasperation about safe sex. I’m right there with them. I remember talking to a safe sex counselor after receiving my HIV test results. I couldn’t get a simple answer without him clear-cutting acres of the English language to build prefaces, qualifiers, disqualifiers caveat and conditions.

Say What?

The disconnect between sex experts and us civilians comes down to this: we want wisdom; they give data. We want advice, they give information. We want answers, they give serious. 

In my column,  for better or for worse, I give advice, not just information. The truth is, there is no way of keeping yourself absolutely safe except by locking yourself in the bedroom with an expensive porn collection. But the dialogue in these videos is so bad you’ll swing the door open in no time.

The most interesting questions about safe sex aren’t necessarily medical ones, but the ones that give us glimpses of the painfully real dilemmas we find ourselves in. Like the guy who was furious that his trick told him he was hiv-positive after he went down on it. 

Or the guy seeking support for his “viral centrism.” He’s positive he won’t even consider dating someone negative because “I don’t want the emotional turmoil of wondering what their next HIV test will show.” It’s questions like these that’ll make you keep turning the pages over like a congressman and heat. Starting next week you’ll see a torrent of them.

Sex Resources

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