How To Deal With Premature Ejaculation
COMING SOON: YOU
Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction in men under 40. About 30% of men suffer from it. It’s easy to understand how we got here–most of us subconsciously trained ourselves into ejaculating prematurely. As boys, we learned to masturbate quickly. After all, how long can you stay in the bathroom with your mom banging on the door screaming, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE??!!!
But before you label yourself a Three Stroke Bloke, know that the average session of intercourse lasts about 5 minutes. So even if your partner uses your sessions as a two-minute timer you’re almost halfway to average.
One condom manufacturer said they only need to test their product for 50 thrusts. Doesn’t say much for male stamina, does it? Still, the question remains: How quick is too quick? How do you define premature ejaculation? Easy. It’s the inability to consciously control or choose when to climax.
Most guys try to solve the problem by distracting themselves–counting backward from 100 or picturing turn-offs—like dead cats, late bills, or soggy french fries. You couldn’t pick a worse strategy. The problem isn’t that you’re paying too much attention to your body; it’s that you’re not paying enough.
The first step in overcoming premature ejaculation is identifying and avoiding the point of “ejaculatory inevitability.” Or in plain English, “the point of no return.” That’s when your heave is going to ho and nothing can stop it.
If you’re like most premature ejaculators, you’re not aware of the subtle cues leading to your orgasms. Fortunately, there is a widely-recognized solution called the “Stop/Start/Change” method. It will take you from a two-pump chump to a long- time champ. Here’s how:
When you’re alone, masturbate until you get close to the “point of no return,” then STOP. Do nothing but focus on the sensation of your penis. The urge to orgasm will subside within minutes. START masturbating again. Do this over and over (Start, stop, start, stop) and you’ll last longer and longer. When you’ve got that down, go to step two.
Instead of stopping as you feel the urge to cum, slow down. Change the speed of your stroke, the pressure you put on it, and the site of your grip. Take your hand away from the head where there’s more sensation to the shaft where there’s less.
Have your partner masturbate you until you get close to ejaculatory inevitability then have him STOP. Basically, you’re repeating the pattern we’ve just talked about, only your partner’s doing the work and you’re doing the refereeing.
Now have your partner masturbate you until you get close to coming and instead of stopping his masturbation of you, he slows down. Once you get the hang of it you’re ready for penetration.
Intercourse On Your Back
Lie flat on your back with your partner sitting on top. Do NOT use the missionary position because it uses your muscles differently and it’s harder to get relaxed. Insert your erect penis into him. Don’t move. Get acclimatized for as long as it takes, taking in the moist, warm pleasure.
Now use the stop/start/change method. You move up and down. Getting close? Stop. Wait a few minutes. Now have your partner move up and down. Close? Change the pace.
Intercourse In The Missionary Position
Enter him when you’re on top. Start moving. S-l-o-w-l-y. Keep using the Stop/Start/Change method throughout. If your partner is any good, he’ll pretend it hurts–that way you’ll feel like you’ve got a big one.
Stay Away From Creams Or Ointments
Never use lotions that claim they’ll help you last longer. They don’t work and you’ll end up rubbing it off on your partner, causing him a loss of sensation. On top of that, he may be allergic to their active ingredient — usually benzocaine (it’s a topical anesthetic used to treat canker sores).
Memorable sex does not include taking your partner to the emergency room, where the outfits are ugly, the lighting is terrible and they don’t serve drinks.