Does Having A Big Dick Give You A Better Sex Life?

You don’t need to write a sex advice column to know that dick, the great male decisionmaker, suffers from a low IQ and a large appetite, a sometimes deadly but mostly comic combination.

If you did, you’d know what most of the questions I get on the subject of penises are about. I wouldn’t have to spell it out in a big, long, and did I mention thick, letters.

Yes, the size of the prize is what draws the most letters. So let’s put the subject to rest: yes, Size Matters. To size queens. To the rest of us, it’s right up there with six-pack abs and chiseled cheeks – – nice, but nothing we’d throw you out of bed for if you didn’t have it.

First, a fact: condom manufacturers say only 6% of the male population needs extra large condoms. You can imagine how that makes the other 94% feel.

If big dicks mean better sex and that means only 6% of all men have great sex? I don’t think so. And neither do you, but it doesn’t matter. We know great sex has little to do with size yet we obsess about it anyway.

Most of the letters I get about the subject are pathetic. Like how can I make it bigger? How can I at least make it look bigger? The small number of people, size queens, who truly believe that bigger dicks mean better sex, have inflicted a terrible inferiority complex on gay men.

Nothing captures the poignancy, the pain of this, our magnificent cultural failure, like the letter I received from a twenty-five-year-old. Read it (comes out next week) as it will change the way you think and talk about dick size.

Dick, We Have a Problem

Otherwise, the letters I get on the purple-headed custard chucker are all over the map. Sadly, the inability to ejaculate in the presence of someone you love seems to be a common problem among gay men.

Sadly because it reflects how uncomfortable some of us have become with having sex in the context of love. Gay men have more sex than anyone on the planet and yet in some ways, we’re the most inexperienced at it. By trivializing sex, mechanizing it, sizing it, some of us have ended up removing it, permanently, from intimacy.

Luckily, this is not the case for most gay men, who struggle with less tragic problems, like figuring out where their next ejaculation is going to land.