Learning The Difference Between

The Height Of The Flame & The Depth Of The Heat.

Friday, November 1

Brad and I took our first weekend trip together.  We wanted to get away from everything so we took the dogs to a remote lodge in the Georgia Mountains.

We couldn’t figure out why there were so many “Just Married” signs on the back of the parked cars.

Then we saw the lobby doors.  The ones built in the shape of a giant red heart. We had booked ourselves into a lodge catering to honeymooning couples. I pull into a parking space.  Brad is halfway out the door when I yank him back in.  “Don’t even think about it,” I say.  “We’re not walking in together.”

He relents and I walk in alone.  Nobody behind the desk.  I ring the bell, walk around.  I’ve never seen so many pictures of Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and George Bush.

Why would you have pictures of past presidents all over the lobby of your honeymoon lodge? Why would you only have pictures of Republican presidents all over the lobby of your honeymoon lodge? This wasn’t looking good at all. [Read more…] about Excerpt From Dale Dent’s Diary, The Gay Version Of Bridget Jones’ Diary.

Was Alexander The Great Gay?

It Depends On What you Mean By “Gay.” If you mean was he sexually and romantically attracted to men, then he wasn’t gay. He was gay on stilts.

But if you mean did he identify himself as “gay,” then the answer is no. The concepts of heterosexuality and homosexuality didn’t exist in ancient times. In that sense asking if Alexander was gay is like asking whether he used cell phones or landlines.

So strictly speaking, Alexander was not gay. He simply had an unquenchable thirst for male flesh.

To fully understand the context of Alexander’s love life, you have to understand how the ancient Greeks perceived the roles of men and women. Basically, women were baby factories. You either married them to carry on your lineage or you married them to acquire something important like territory, strategic alliances, and in many cases, exceptional wardrobes. It’s not that love didn’t exist between men and women; it’s that it wasn’t necessary or even desirable in a marriage. [Read more…] about Was Alexander The Great Gay?

The Biggest Drawback To Mixing Drugs With Sex Is That They Make You Think Safe Sex Is A Padded Headboard.

Drugs teach different people different things.  Some people learn they can be more loving when they’re on drugs.  Others learn they can keep vomiting long after they think they’ve finished.

No matter what you think about drugs there’s no escaping the fact that they’re a big part of  gay life.  Especially its sex life.  In less than a generation this country’s gone from Sex, Lies and Videotape to Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll.

Okay, Sex Drugs and Musical Theatre. [Read more…] about Do Drugs Make Sex Better?

QUESTION:
I keep meeting these guys that sexually tease me and then at the last minute they play Sister Mary Magdalene and claim they’re “just not that kind of girl.”

Last month I met some flight attendant on the way home from a business trip and he agreed to spend the next weekend with me. We had a great dinner and then things got hot and heavy at my place. We’re kissing, scratching tonsils with our tongues and our hands are all over each other. I make my move and I guess he gets insulted that I tried to board him without the proper ticketing or something. [Read more…] about Do Guys OWE You SEX If You’ve Paid For Dinner?

Paul Rudnick in The New Yorker has a hysterical take on Kinsey’s Straight-to-gay spectrum.  Here’s a tidbit:

Alfred Kinsey believed that human sexuality could be charted on a scale of 0 to 6, with 0 being “Exclusively heterosexual” and 6 being “Exclusively homosexual.” Owing to changing cultural boundaries and advanced research, Kinsey’s scale has recently been expanded:

0. So heterosexual that you think all other heterosexuals should be shot, because they seem a little gay.

1. So heterosexual that when a tax return or a loan application asks your gender you reply, “Straight.”

2. So heterosexual that the thought of two people of the same sex having intercourse doesn’t disgust you; it confuses you—“Wait a minute, if they’re both girls, which one falls asleep immediately afterward while the other one keeps babbling about her day?”

Q:  I’ve been happily married for 25 years. Except for the first five years, my husband and I have no sexual relationship.  His drive is very low and I lost interest in trying to find ways to improve it.  Now in our early 50’s, we are both still fit, attractive people.  However, I have missed the scent, touch, and feel of a man’s body and I am not getting younger.  I wish to remain married and, no, it’s too far for the two of us to find our way back to a sexual relationship. He still has no drive and has expressed he misses nothing.  I look at guys my age in restaurants, grocery stores, church… everywhere. And I wonder how many of them have no sexual outlet like me.  I’m trapped in a sexless marriage.  What can I do?

—  Too young to shrivel up

Dear Too Young:

Marry the man you love and take a vow of sexual poverty?  I’ve met with our editorial board and we’ve voted you Hell’s official spokesperson.  Because any man looking for an eternity of emotional, sexual and physical abuse couldn’t find a better place for it than where you’re standing.

[Read more…] about What To Do When You’re Trapped In A Sexless Marriage

You got suspicious because anytime you get near his computer when he’s online he closes all the windows so one day while he was gone you looked up the browser history and sure enough it was brimming with hookup sites and his mailboxes were stuffed with the promise of new meat.
 

How do you confront somebody with this information? What is the best way of handling it? Especially if you can imagine your life without him but you also can’t imagine staying someone who cheats on your back.

The first thing is don’t tell him you went into the computer and ransacked it. This is a classic mistake because he’ll undoubtedly make your invasion of his privacy a big an issue as his infidelity. You should only bring that up if all attempts at resolution have failed and he continuously denies that he’s doing anything wrong.
 

Is Infidelity Wrong?
Here’s part of what Dan Savage said in the New York Times:

““I acknowledge the advantages of monogamy when it comes to sexual safety, infections, emotional safety, paternity assurances. But people in monogamous relationships have to be willing to meet me a quarter of the way and acknowledge the drawbacks of monogamy around boredom, despair, lack of variety, sexual death and being taken for granted.”

Instead, talk to him calmly. Admittedly, this is very hard to do when you get upsetting news, but you have to get clear in your head that your goal isn’t to give him a personal rendition of the Mount St. Helen’s explosion (he’ll never get over the ash). Your goal is to straighten things out. Here’s how:
 
Tell him that you suspect he’s he’s going behind your back. Don’t demand or threaten an admission – – invite him into. That sounds weird but hear me out. If you make it safe for him to be honest you have a much better chance of working things out than if you push him into denial. One way of inviting him into a conversation is to say something like, “I’m committed to working on our relationship even if you’ve been with other guys.”
 
You have to make the price of dishonesty worse than the price of infidelity. As in, “I can forgive anything except lying.” Of course, there is a great possibility that he will still deny it. Should you then bring up your snooping? I still wouldn’t do it. Don’t right a wrong with a wrong. You should not have been snooping in his computer. True, that little crime pales in comparison to his, but you don’t want him using that as an excuse to divert the argument from his cheating to your snooping.
 
Partly you should avoid disclosing how you got the information because often people are wrong about their partners infidelity. And if you lead with your computer invasion what you are saying is, “My suspicions are more important than your privacy.”
 
I know a lot of people think it’s okay to snoop on their partners but I actually don’t. Taken to its logical conclusion if you believe that your suspicions are more important than his privacy it means your partner gets to rifle through your diary, your wallet, your checkbook, your emails, your voicemails,and your credit card statements at the slightest whiff of doubt that you are not being on the up and up.
 
Your partner is innocent until proven guilty. As are you. Once You’ve gotten him to admit his misdeeds there is a real chance at working things out.

Is your breath so bad people lose their short-term memory when they talk to you? The problem with checking your own breath is that the body becomes so accustomed to its own smells you literally cannot tell if your breath is bad even as other people can see the words come out of you.
 
So cupping your hands and blowing into them is a complete waste of time. You will not be able to detect bad breath. But the folks over at WebMD.com came up with an ingenious, foolproof way of figuring out if you have bad breath. I tried it this morning before I brushed my teeth and after I had my coffee. Two things: 1) It works! 2) The smell knocked me unconscious.
 
Here’s WebMD’s test. Try it for yourself: [Read more…] about Here’s A Clever Way Of Finding It If Your Breath Stinks.

How Much Confidence Can You Take?

Confidence is walking up to somebody you don’t know, with a smile, a complete lack of awkwardness and funny quip. Arrogance is never taking a hot shower because it fogs up the mirror. How would you brand these “cocky funny” texts? Confident or arrogant? How would you respond if you got one like these? Do tell.

1.
You: (send a blank text)
Likely Reply: Why did you send me a blank text?
You: Babe, you don’t have to come up with excuses to talk to me.

2.
You: I I was just thinking about you
Likely Reply: Really? About what?
You: I saw this cute puppy in the mall
Likely Reply: awwwwww
You: It was whining and getting all excited the closer I got

3.
You: You remind me of my dog.
Likely Response: Hey!
You: What? I LOVE my dog.

4.
You: Hey, are you good at accepting compliments from complete strangers?”
Likely Response: Unfortunately, yeah.
You: Sweet, me too. You go first, compliment me.

5.
Those beautiful eyes….Those sexy lips……..The smoothest walk…..But enough about me, how are u doing?

6.
Look how happy you are to hear from me. You LOVE me!

7.
I’m so out of your league

8.
Stop thinking about me.
[Read more…] about 19 Cocky Funny Texts That’ll Put You Off Or Turn You On.