Body Language Series Recap

 

So, you started out with body language signs that blinked “Beat it” and morphed theminto signs that say, “Beat me.” Congratulations! Now, keep the beat going by remembering these core principles:

1. Invite him to make eye contact with eyebrow flashes and longer-than-usual gazes.

2. Respond to his gaze by averting your eyes downward then looking up.

3. Remove doubt about your intentions by using the triangular sweep gaze.

4. If he doesn’t return your look, check your attention-getting devices—don’t slouch, keep your palms and arms uncrossed, and wear necklaces and form-fitting clothes.

5. If he looked but won’t come over, take the risk out of it for him by opening your ‘territory line’ and excusing yourself from your friends so you’ll be alone.

6. When he comes over create ‘invisible hallways” with your gestures to draw him in, and point with everything you’ve got—your head, feet, arms and everything in between.

7. Get him to touch you with irresistible invitations like wearing a crooked tie.

8. Open the lube without spilling it.

That’s it!

You’ve learned the basics principles, how to do a body language inventory, the best ways of approaching handsome men and the most effective ways of making yourself more approachable.

Now all you have to do is practice.

And, uhm, you do have to practice. There are three things I *still* do to make sure I don’t forget (it’s easy to lapse back into bad habits when you’re under stress–and being around beautiful men is always stressful!). I’d like to share them with you:

1. FREEZE!

Write this word on a post-it note and tape it to your bathroom mirror. It’ll remind you to do an “in-field” body language inventory (when you’re out at the bars or parties).

2. “Open up” your body.

Make sure nothing is blocking your chest area–not arms, not a drink, nothing.

3. “Warm the path” to your door.

Make it easy for guys to approach you by opening your “territory line.”

One final thought

The skills you need to meet and attract good-looking guys are the same skills you need to attract better friends, better jobs and better relationships. Learn how to attract the guys that you want and you’ll learn how to attract everything you want.

The principles in this gay body language series, properly applied, will not just raise your love life to a new level; it’ll elevate your entire life.

Now, see the hottie in the corner? The one who’s not looking at you? Let’s go talk to him.

 

Gay Dating Resources

Gay Dating Advice
Gay Texting Tips
Gay Body Language
How To Meet Guys

 

 

 

 

Building Rapport With Your Body

 

Okay, you shook hands with your palm open by ten degrees and magnified the positive impressions by touching him on the elbow. Congratulations. You planted the flag. Could the pole be far behind?

Yes, if you start acting like him. Assuming you’re running the conversational bridges and rapport builders we talked about in Chapters Six and Seven, it’s time to launch a courtship phenomenon scientists call “Mirroring.” It’s a fancy way of saying that when men are in heat, they subconsciously imitate each other’s gestures, postures and expressions.

It creates rapport, a feeling of acceptance because they see themselves reflected in each other. It’s also a way of saying, “I like you, I’m on the same wavelength.” Or more to the point, “I want to pound the dust out of your rug.”

An Example

Let’s say you’re chatting up Shagability and you turn to face him a bit more directly. If he likes you, he’ll “mirror” you and turn to face you a bit more—all within five to fifty seconds. Don’t mirror too soon or too well, or he’s going to think you’re ridiculing him.

There’s a difference between mirroring and aping. So, if he leans back and drapes a leg over an armchair, then wait 30 seconds, lean back and extend your leg out. Imitate the essence without copying the specifics.

Is He Interested?

Check to see if he mirrors you. Change your posture, your sightline or what you’re doing with your hands and see if he does the same thing. You can also check by mirroring him and seeing his reaction. If he stays in the new position for a couple of minutes, he’s telegraphing his comfort with you.

If you mirror him and he immediately changes his position, he’s telling you he’s not on the same page. Back up and put that mirror in storage for a little while.

Mirroring can be a little misleading because men also tend to do it with guys they want to be friends with. So how do you tell the difference? By looking at…well, it won’t make sense without a little background.

See, when guys talk to other guys they’re interested in, they point to themselves. And you’re not going to believe where. I’ll show you. Stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart. Put your hands on your hips.

There. According to researchers, that’s a man’s most common “I’m interested in you” pose.

Now before we go on, try other versions of it—like putting your thumbs through your front belt loops, or tucking them under the top of your belts or your pants. Okay, got it? Now follow your hands down to your fingers. Where are they pointing?

Ahem.

The Crotch Point

Yes, when men are interested in you they’ll point to their penis. Communication researchers call this the “Crotch Point,” or the “Cowboy Stance.” It’s a primitive way of calling attention to your best (and if you’re lucky, biggest) asset.

It’s a more subtle version of the “penis display” primates use to assert dominance (instead of fighting, apes often spread their legs. The one with the biggest display wins). So, if you want to know if he likes you look down. Is he pointing to his burrito?

We do a lot to point down there—we wear tight pants or Speedo’s (some of us anyway), put on long floppy belts or wear long dangling keys from belt loops. What do you think crotch grabs on the dance floor are about? We will subconsciously do or use anything to point to that access of evil between our legs.

Once you’re mirroring each other like the left and right side of a dress shirt, an exchange of phone numbers –or body fluids—is practically inevitable. Congratulations, you bagged somebody who initially ignored you! Now you know: Just because he ain’t lookin’ doesn’t mean you can’t hook him.

Remember The Sequence

Keep hooking them by practicing regularly. Remember the sequence:

1. Approach from the side; never head-on.

2. Smile in a way that creates laugh lines.

3. Keep your palms open and your arms uncrossed.

4. Once you talk, get him to look in your eyes with the Align/Direct/Reinforce method.

5. Shake hands with your palm open by ten degrees.

6. Touch his elbow during the handshake.

7. Touch him lightly by grazing his hand, arm or elbow at appropriate times during your conversation.

8. Mirror his posture and gestures within five to fifty seconds.

9. Open the condom without ripping the package.

 

Gay Dating Resources

Gay Dating Advice
Gay Texting Tips
Gay Body Language
How To Meet Guys

 

 

How to Approach a Hottie

 

It’s easy to approach Shagability if he glances back.

But if he doesn’t?

Phase 1: Knocking On A Closed Door

Stop staring. When you see somebody beautiful, you can’t look like a dog trying to get out of a car. If you haven’t caught his eye from the beginning, don’t stare, drool or stalk. Not just because he might see it (he will); but because you’ll lose every guy who sees you doing it.

If  you want to be considered a potential partner rather than a potential restraining order then give up trying to undress him with your eyes. Play your cards right and you’ll do it later with your hands.

Assuming you approach Shagability with one of the direct, indirect or situational openers we talked about in an earlier post, pay attention to the angle you come at him: Never approach a guy you don’t know head on.

It activates a primitive defense against an attack. If an animal wants to check you out, they’ll approach from the side. If they want to kill you, they’ll charge in a straight line. So, act like your dog. If you see an appealing ass, sniff from the side.

Smile. It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

If you’re going to approach Shagability with a frown you might as well toss in crossed arms and pointing fingers for all the good it’s going to do you. Smiling is the Vaseline that’ll make your approach penetrate better, so push those lips up to your ears! You can worry about your ankles later.

Researchers who’ve studied facial muscles found two aspects of a smile that create positive, warm feelings in men:

1. Symmetry. Both corners of your mouth should curve upward. One-sided smiles are perceived as smirks.

2. Laugh lines. The smiles that had the greatest impact created laugh lines around the eyes (crow’s feet). I know, it sucks. You want to meet a man to grow old with, not to grow old for.

Are fake smiles dishonest?

Yes, in the same way playing music before you go to the gym is dishonest. Sometimes you’ve got to psych yourself up. Is it deceitful to fake your way into a genuinely good mood?

Why do I always have to be the one to initiate contact?

Straight men almost always make the first move on women, but who makes the first move between two men? The bottom? The nelliest? No. The strongest. The one with the most dominant attributes. If you’ve ever wondered why you don’t seem to meet anybody unless you take the initiative, it’s because you’re taller, bigger, older, richer, have more status, more confidence or are more willing to take risks than the men who are attracted to you.

Next week: Phase 2 of approaching a hottie.

Gay Dating Resources

Gay Dating Advice
Gay Texting Tips
Gay Body Language
How To Meet Guys