How To Begin Spicing Up Your Sex Life
What should you do if you want to spice up your sex life but you don’t know where to start?
You Google ideas and when you type “how to spice up your sex-life” you get a plethora of articles that barely scrape the surface. A lot of the ideas sound fun and interesting but they are a hodge podge of suggestions that don’t address the fundamental issue regarding your sexual boredom.
Then you head over to Amazon looking for books that might help and instead they just confuse you more because these books were made for people who are very certain about how to address their boredom.
For example, there are tons of books on how to be a dominant or a submissive. But what if you don’t know if you would like to be either? Buying those books is like buying books on trigonometry when you haven’t decided whether you like math or not.
So there you are stuck between articles that don’t address the fundamental issue of your sex life and books that assume you have already done that and want detailed information on the subject.
There is a better way of figuring out how to spice up your sex life. But it involves asking yourself a series of questions you may not have ever asked yourself.
THE BIG QUESTION
For example, what do you want out of sex that you’re not currently getting? This, typically for most people, is about increasing physical stimulation. If that’s the case then really all you need to do is improve your sexual skills. Or to be more pointed about it, improving your partner’s skills.
If what you want is a greater emotional connection to your partner you don’t really need to spice up your sex life for that. You need to first start outside the bedroom and work your way in. By that, I mean that often emotional connections that you want in bed are being tampered with outside the bedroom. For example, if you do all the housework and constantly picking up after your partner, you’re going to feel too resentful to feel connected in bed.
But if your partner picks up the slack and suddenly the housework is split 50-50 then you are far more likely to have an emotional connection in bed.
Most of us assume that those two things– greater physical stimulation and a stronger emotional connection– are the things we want most out of sex. That may be true but it’s only true in the most basic sense.
Sex without those two things would be incredibly dissatisfying. But what if you could get more out of sex than just a more intense orgasm or a greater sense of trust with your partner?
That question begets the main question you should ask yourself: “what do I want out of sex other than greater physical stimulation or a stronger connection to my partner?”
Answering that question will set you off on a journey that will lead to the appropriate options that those articles on Google and those books on Amazon do not address.
Later, in future posts, we will talk about how to answer that all-important question.