How To Be Flirty Over Text With A Guy

You met the love of your life. Again! Time to text. But what?

“How are you?”

Yes, show them you have the personality of a Kansas ZIP code.

Here’s what typically happens when you start texting a cutie you want to impress: You start typing and brain fart! You can’t think of anything clever! You’re as nervous and feel as naked as a peeled apple. You get “Texter’s block.” You don’t know what to do.

Here’s an idea–use our flirty text message collection of pre-written texts. They’ll spark attraction, build rapport and help you hook up or get a date.

With our catalog of funny, pre-written text messages, you can copy/paste/send or use as an idea generator for your own flirty texts.

They are hand-picked by our team of writers and researchers. No cliches. No lame poems. No pickup lines. And best of all, they’re categorized by 19 dating or hookup circumstances.

Our huge collection, really almost a database of flirty texts, isn’t just for the first text you send someone. It’s for every phase of a relationship. It’s for keeping things going in the right direction. It’s for warming the path to a phone call. Or a date. It’s to add pizzazz to a blooming relationship. But mostly, it’s to make the person on the other end smile.

Here are a couple of examples:

How To Text Guys Who ARE Interested

Let’s say your crush is clearly interested and your objective is to play it up. Here’s a sample flirty text:

You: STOP.

Likely reply: stop what?

You: Stop thinking about me.

Likely reply: ??

You: See, you’re doing it right now!

How To Text A Guy You Don’t Know Is Interested

Your objective is to engage him in a mock argument. Here is a sample text:

You: My dog is cuter than your dog.

How To Text Guys If You’re Trying To Play Hard To Get

Your objective is to be confident and funny. Here’s a sample text:

You: [send blank text]

Likely reply: why did you send me a blank text?

You: babe, you don’t have to come up with excuses to talk to me.

How To Text Guys You Want To Make Jealous

You: You would not believe what happened to me last night!

Likely reply: What?

You: Oh, crap! Wrong person!

How To Text A Guy If You Want To Know More About Him

Your objective is to ask him a fun, clever question. Here’s an example:

You: Tell me five things about you, four of them true.

The Categories In Our Texting Collection

You Don’t Know How Interested They Are So You Want To Start Slow
You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Flirty
You Want To Make Them Laugh.
Cute Ways Of Saying Hello After You’ve Texted a Couple of Times
Cute Ways of Saying Goodbye
Clever Questions That Make You More Interesting For Asking.
You Want To Play Hard To Get (Cocky Funny)
“Unclogger” Texts: Getting Him Or Her To Text You Back
Clever Questions For Starting New Threads
You Want To Be Seen As Fun & Wacky
You Want To Be Seen As A Partier
Teasing: Taking The Hot Guy Down A Peg Or Two
Insults: Mowing Down The Hot Guy
You Want To Step It Up To A Phone Call
Dirty Flirty: You’ve had sex.
Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom
You’re Falling In Love
You Screwed Up
Fun Phrases

You Don’t Know How Interested They Are

Objective: Don’t Flirt. Engage in creative ways.

Texts To Send:

Poke.

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good myself. U?

It was great meeting you last night. It was you, wasn’t it? ;>)

I’d like your permission to slightly exaggerate our friendship.

Hey I saw a movie and it got me thinking about you.

Hey you. I’m having a friendly debate with a friend and we need an outside opinion: who lies more, men or women?

I bet my weekend can beat up your weekend.

My week beats your year.

Work’s got my hair on fire. How’s your day?

My boss is doing the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. Hope your day is going better.

You: My friends and I just took a vote, you lost 4-2.

Likely reply: What was the subject?

You: I asked if they thought you were *trouble* We think you are.

What sort of trouble are you causing?

Just wanted to text you before daybreak cuz I’ll have to get into my coffin

My dog is cuter than your dog.

If you were going to hire an Elvis impersonator for your friend’s birthday party,

would you hire a young Elvis or a Fat Elvis?

Settle an argument I’m having with a friend: Is khaki a color or a fabric?

My neighbor just bought two dogs, and she wants to name them after an eighties pop duo. What do you think about Milli Vanilli?

I’m at the mall trying on different colognes. Here, sniff. Do you like the one on my right wrist or left?

I’m at the mall. Can’t decide which pair of glasses looks better on me. Do you like the black one or the brown?

OMG, my friend’s breath is so bad I can see the words come out of him. Should I tell him?

My friend thinks he’s a Jewish “10.” Meaning, a “3” with a trust fund. Is that anti-semitic or just plain funny?

I need to update my living room but I’m like Ray Charles with a decorating license. Got any suggestions?

Last night a friend insulted my sister. I know violence isn’t the answer but I got it wrong on purpose. Was I chivalrous or just an A-hole?

It’s my turn to cook for the weekly potluck. Last time I used the smoke alarm as a timer. Got any advice?

My friend wanted help on her online profile. I suggested, “Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship.” How do I get her to talk to me again?

Settle an argument. I told a friend I believed in soulmates. He said, “But that’s like putting all of your money in one stock and hoping it’s not Enron.” Who’s right?

What’s new in the wonderful world of you?

POW!

Sending this before the hangover kicks in.
You Know They’re Interested So You Want To Be Flirty

Objective: FLIRT!

Texts To Send:

You: Stop!

Likely Reply: Stop what?

You: Stop thinking about me. See, you’re doing it. . right. . . now.

I could drink a case of you and still be on my feet.

Oh, nothing. I just wanted you to feel my vibration.

You: 192y – (62*84) = 12x + 45y solve for x and then graph

Likely Reply: ???

You: You make me harder than algebra.

Huh. Just realized your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

Stop making me think about you. I’m busy.

My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.

I would go shopping with you, but I don’t want you to be tempted to make out with me in the dressing room

I’m going to kidnap you to Vegas and get us married by Elvis.

I met this really cool guy but he was just to hard to read, I don’t know, you think he likes me?

Hey honey, I am going to be home late. How are the kids?

You’re so beautiful that last night you made me forget my pickup line.

I’ve never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.

If I was your coworker, I’d sexually harass you.

I think we should just be friends with sexual tension.

Did you know that LIPS and KISS are typed the same way on your phone?

It wasn’t my fault I fell for you, you tripped me.

Whenever I see you I feel like a dog dying to get out of the car.

If I’d have held you any closer I’d be in back of you.

I miss you like the deserts miss the rain.

You: I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.

Likely Reply: ???

You: “Nice butt!”

You: I was shopping and saw something that’d look good on you.

Likely Reply: Really? What?

You: ME.

I want you like a bee wants a flower.

I wish I were on Facebook so I could poke you.

I want you like JFK wanted a car with a roof.

I like you like a queen but I want you like a frog.

I long for you the way roses reach for the rain.

I’m wearing Revlon’s ColorStay lipstick. Wanna test their claim that it won’t come off?

Bring your sexy to me.

Loading the Babe meter…..

17%

26%

57%

99%

100% COMPLETE.

Processing data…

Analysis complete!

You are a 100% gorgeous babe!

3. You Want To Make Them Laugh.

Objective: Duh, say Something funny!

Texts To Send:

Made you look!

Last night I renamed my iPod ‘The Titanic’ so when I plug it in it says ‘”The Titanic is Syncing.”

I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

“This cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat busy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat!” NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYING CAT!

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.

Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. WTF!

On CSI, they found semen in the woman’s ear. Guess she heard her killer coming.

OMFG i just saw someone giving someone else road head and they hit a pothole.

I got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section.

“Lose 5 Pounds in 5 days”. My upbeat view of abortion

Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky when I thought, “where the hell is my roof!?”

I hate you! Call me.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

On a scale of “impaired judgement” to “Bradley Cooper ,” how drunk are you?

Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s blocking my view.

Short jokes

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy. Ever notice how women’s problems start with men?

Did you hear about the depressed dyslexic? He threw himself behind a bus.

“What did sushi A say to sushi B? Wasaaaah bi?!

“Have you heard about the new sushi restaurant for lawyers opening down the street? It’s called Sosumi

chicken and egg in bed, chicken has head on pillow smoking. Egg rolls over annoyed saying”i guess we answered that question”

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

Cute Ways Of Saying Hello After You Get To Know Them

Objective: Use Different Languages Or Action-Oriented Words

Texts To Send:

Jambo Jambo (hello in Swahili)

Hello Clarice

I’ve got the money, just let him go, he’s been through enough.

Word.

Moshi Moshi (Japanese)

What’s Poppin’?

Hello, you have reached — OH SHIT SHIT GODDAM FUCKING SHIT! — the Tourette Helpline.

What’s Bangin’?

What’s Crackin’?

Ciao bella!

What’s up, homeskillet?

Hey boo

Mi amore!

My cheri amore!

Hey mista

Hey missy

What up, homeslice

Hi, I’d like to order a pizza.

Bon Giorno (Italian)

Guten Tag (German)

Ni hao (Chinese)

Namaste

Shalom

Marhabah (Arabic)

Yo-yo yiggidy-yo!
Que pasa?
Mooo!
Wazzzzzzzup!

wazUp Dawg?

Ahoy!

hey scooby dobedoooo

hey chimp

Sup frylock?

Salutions!

Yo-yo yiggidy-yo!

What’s shakin’ bacon?

G’day mate.

‘ello Govenah!

Top of dah mornin’ to yah

oola oola!

Howdy Partner

Cute Ways of Saying Goodbye

Objective: Make Your Last Text memorable

Texts To Send:

Peace Out!

Later Tater

Unhello

Buh Bye

Vaya con Dios!

I’m bouncing

You are the weakest link. Goodbye

I am the very ink with which history is written!

McGoodbye

May the forces of evil get lost on the way to you front doorstep

Live long and prosper

Cheerio!

Farewell

Bon voyage

Aloha

Shalom

Peace out

I must take leave of you now

Adios

Arrivaderci

Au revoir

Hasta la vista

And…I’m out.

In a while, crocodile!

Cheers

Na-na-naa-na, hey hey hey, Goodbye!

Shalom, y’all!

Later, gator!

If I don’t return, avenge my death!

This is me. And this is the back of me.

Pip Pip

‘Til then, penguin

Hasta mañana, iguana

You stay classy

Tallyhoo!

Keep it between the lines…and dirty side down

Keep it real

Hasta luego

À bientôt!

Tootles

Hasta la pasta

Don’t let the back door hit ya where the good Lord split ya

Clever Questions That Make You More Interesting

Objective: Get Them To Reveal Something About Themselves

Texts To Send:

Tell me five things about you, four of them true.

If you could choose, which superpower would you have?

If you could change the color of the sky during the day what would it be?

If you could change the color of the sky at night, what would you choose?

If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose?

If you could have any pet (without regard to safety) which would you have?

If you were a vampire who would you bite to survive?

Imagine you’re a spider with a web. One insect escapes and says something to you. What does he say?

Do all gays who go out automatically assume that any guy who talks to you is hitting on you?

Tell me 3 things about you that are interesting that don’t have to do with your looks

If you could have dinner with any three people who would they be?

You Want To Play Hard To Get (Cocky Funny)

Objective: Push but not too hard.

Texts To Send:

Okay, I texted you. What are your next two wishes

You: (send a blank text)

Likely Reply: Why did you send me a blank text?

You: Babe, you don’t have to come up with excuses to talk to me.

I sooo know ur thinking about me. So I thought I would say hi!

Those beautiful eyes….Those sexy lips……..The smoothest walk…..But enough about me, how are u doing?

You: I I was just thinking about you

Likely Reply: Really? About what?

You: I saw this cute puppy in the mall

Likely Reply: awwwwww

You: It was whining and getting all excited the closer I got

You: I think of you as a sister (or brother)

Likely Reply: Really?

You: Yes, but I’m having incestuous thoughts.

Look how happy you are to hear from me. You LOVE me!

I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.

How’s that shrine you’re building to me going?

okay, thats enough. We ARE SO broken up, i want my CDs back

Cancel! I’m cuter

Stop flirting with me

I’d like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.

So, are you in love with me yet?

It’s over between us. I’m keeping the dog

You: You remind me of my dog.

Likely Response: Hey!

You: What? I LOVE my dog.

How can you possibly get any work done when you’re flirting with me all the time?

Hey so you just popped into my head, now stay out of there.

I just got back from the doctors. I’m pregnant. It’s yours.

(Ladies, DO NOT send this out to anybody you’ve had sex with!)

You: Hey, are you good at accepting compliments from complete strangers?”

Likely Response: Unfortunately, yeah.

You: Sweet, me too. You go first, compliment me.

Thats it! I want a divorce. What r we going to do with the effing cats?

Don’t play hard to get with somebody who’s hard to get.

I’m so out of your league

Those beautiful eyes….Those sexy lips……..The smoothest walk…..But enough about me, how are u doing?

Who’s that sexy guy you just texted?

“Unclogger” Texts: Getting Him Or Her To Text You Back

Objective: Make them curious

Texts To Send:

You: OMG! you would not believe what happened to me last night!

Likely Reply: what tell me!!

You: oh crap, wrong person!

Why the silence? Jeez am I gonna have to bail u outta jail AGAIN??

I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.

Wassup not feeling cute today?

I just met your twin

Ur not your usual texty little self today

HEY Brainiac U there…….pick up

Did I just see you?

Are U not answering your call 2 day miss model wannabe.

You are on text probation. I expect prompt, witty texts I can show my friends or I’m going to have to drop you from my address book.

Just heard something interesting about you.

Just had a dream about you.

Just ran into your ex

A friend told me something pretty funny about you.

I saw an old photo of you.

Heard you got arrested. Is everything ok?

Your busy day is interfering with my slacking off.

If we don’t hang out soon I’ll have to start cheating on you

Clever Questions For Starting New Threads.

Objective: Ask Interesting questions

Texts To Send:

You: Hey do you think I look like a drug dealer?

Likely Response: Why?

You: It’s just that I had two different people come up to me last night all sexual, like hey do you have any weed?

Who wrote the song, “You spin me right round baby right round like a record player right round, round round?”

Which of these is the funniest drag queen name? Lois Carmen Denominator,

Hedda Lettuce or Summer Clearance?

Why has Marge never left Homer?

Settle a bet with a friend: Is khaki a color or a fabric?

What vegetable do you most resemble?

If you’re buying clothing as a gift for a friend and you don’t know their size, should you buy it slightly smaller or bigger?

Help me win a combat with a friend. There are five oceans but we can only name four. What’s the fifth?

What’ the most embarrassing CD you have in your collection?

Who’s the most famous person you’ve ever met?

What’s the one movie you watch over and over?

If your life were made into a movie, what would it be called?

You Want To Be Seen As Fun & Wacky

Objective: Exaggerate

Texts To Send:

This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

Let’s go up to random Asian girls and yell at them for breaking up the Beatles.

Come watch me wear my Jesus costume into a Family Christian store–I’ll say I’m there for a book signing.

Just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart

I got my parents high. They’ve been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I’m not the favorite.

I need a partner to rob the Bank of America across the street. Do you want to drive or shoot?

You: I think I just invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese.

Likely reply: ???

You: You may know it as “toast.”

You Want To Be Seen As A Partier

Objective: Don’t Ask, Do Tell

Texts To Send:

I don’t know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home.

I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.

I emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to Jaws trying to eat them.

Last night I chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said, “oh dont worry i knew it’d be faster this way”

A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.

I suggest we drink before we go out drinking

I was at a McDonald’s last night at 2a and the guy gave me the wrong kind of McFlurry, so I screamed at him, “YOU MCFUCKED UP!”

Last night my roommate went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to “get the fuck back bitch you don’t know my life.”

You: Wow, wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars last night

Likely Reply: Well, it’s bad but not awful.

You: IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT!

All i remember is I climbed in a garbage can and said I was trashed.

I kept singing the Copa Cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street.

Teasing: Taking The Hot Guy Down A Peg Or Two

Objective: Good-Natured Teasing

Texts To Send:

Beauty is only a light switch away.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

So I though Elvis would be great theme for our wedding

I bet you were the type of kid that always got spaghetti sauce all over your face

I heard you went to the Haunted House and they offered you a job

I think we should stop seeing each other before we go on a date.

Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I’m just texting to say goodbye

I don’t date people like you without a background check first.

You should come with a warning label

You’d throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face, wouldn’t you?

I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically.

My friend saw you at _______ and said you had a cute butt. I set him straight.

Hey! My friend just called me and said he saw a goofball running down the street in last night’s clothing. Call me if you need a ride.

I don’t know who you’re boyfriend is…but he’s not spanking you enough!

Remember, tomorrow is “Hug a retard” day…So don’t freak out like you did last year, NO ONE IS TRYING TO HURT YOU!

It’d be awful if you showed up

I miss you and wanna see you, but this dumb security guard won’t let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape?

Out of all the (first name) (last name)’s I know… I think you’re my favorite.

What have you got going for you other than looks?

(For guys only) You’re not going to hit me are you? Because you look pretty mean.

I’ve been thinking about you all day. I was at the zoo

I’d love to help you out. Now, which way did you come in?

Insults: Mowing Down The Hot Guy

Objective: Scorch That Earth!

Texts To Send:

Your face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

The AIDS virus tested positive for you.

Learn Some english! “Your” is for something that belongs to you, like ‘your herpes’. And “you’re” is a contraction for “you are”, like “you’re not sleeping with me.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Wow, that’s an ugly shirt/ skirt/whatever. How long til the bet wears off?

Give me a picture of your penis and I’ll enlarge it to the dimensions you

May you rest in pieces

I haven’t gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer.

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter

Two billion years of evolution and that’s what you come up with?

Is that a comeback? For chrissakes, I’ve wiped my ass with sharper stuff than that.

Do they ever shut up on your planet

You are so bad at being pretty

Are you typing with your forehead again?

I don’t what makes you so dumb but it’s working

When I asked your sister if she spits or swallows she replied, “I never learned how to spit.”

You look like shit. Is that in style now

I’m sorry, do I resemble your therapist

I like the color of your teeth

You look almost attractive tonight.

Your hair looks great! Is it real?

I didn’t know rolex made plastic watches

I had a wet dream about you last night …. I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

You: What sexual position produces the ugliest children?

Likely Reply: What?

You: Ask your mom!!!

I know why you’re an optimist. It’s because you’re short and you can only see that part of the glass that’s half full.

You’ve got such a narrow mind, when you walk fast you earrings bang together.

Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.

Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable– like a coma?

I’m not as dumb as you look.

I’m fucking your sister right now.

It’s not homophobia, everybody hates you.

You Want To Step It Up To A Phone Call

Objective: Keep It Casual

Texts To Send:

You’re unbelievable….not even one phone call since we last had text.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

Hey, when I call later are you going to answer?

My batts bout 2 die, I need a word. Call me, its urgent!

So, miss thing, are we ever going to talk?

Hmmm, looks like you’d rather type than talk.

I’m tired of technology. I want to see you, not read you.

Dirty Flirty: You’ve Had Sex

Objective: Show Your Desire

Texts To Send:

Next time I’m going to hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England.

I wanna give you roadhead while going 95 and see you come for a mile and a half

Get out of your relationship and into my pants

You’d look better if you lost 2 pounds. That’s about what clothing weighs

I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says “bang.”

The sex we’re going to have will be so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

You: (send pic of your crotch)

Likely Response: ???

You: Hold your phone to your leg so I can hump it

what color u got on?

I want to be on you

Remember, the orgy is at 7 o’clock tonight. Make sure you get there early so we could warm up together.

My idea of safe sex with you is a padded headboard.

If my right leg were Thanksgiving and my left one was Christmas, would you visit between the holidays?

SMILE: It’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Free your mind. Your crotch will follow.

Filthy Dirty: Texts That Would Scare Your Mom

Objective: Singe Their Ears!

Texts To Send:

Next time I cum with you I want church bells to ring. I wanna know God is watching and congratulating me.

I’m boned up. Let’s fuck.

I’m even more sore than I was yesterday. It’s like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. You bang harder than a semi-truck.

Next time, let’s play Pearl Harbor. That’s where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me

I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says “bang”.

I want to suck your dick like there was an antidote in it.

I’d eat the cashews out of your caca.

You’re Falling In Love

Objective: Be Romantic

Texts To Send:

“My night has become a sunny dawn because of you.” – Inb Abbad

“Thou art to me a delicious torment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Make me immortal with a kiss.” – Christopher Marlowe

You: noh ss!w !

Likely reply: ??

You: Read it upside down, left to right.

You make me want to write a rock ballad.

I’m not drunk. I’m intoxicated by you.

I want to sleep in the corner of your smile

If you were a tear I would never cry

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

If I were a tear in your eye I would make my way down to your lips.

I’d run away from you, but if you didn’t come and find me, I would die.

You are what you love, not what loves you back.

I’ll buy you 11 Roses, 10 of them real. And I’ll love you until the last one dies.

My tooth hurts. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Are you free the rest of your life?

I love you even more than when I started this text

I want you to be happy, even if I’m not the reason behind your happiness

You leave me wanting nothing more than wanting more of you

You are the beat in my heart

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

You screwed up

Objective: Be contrite, but with an edge.

Texts To Send:

On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

Even in the dictionary, forgiveness doesn’t come before apology.

Who are you going to believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?

Hey Angry, mad much?

Fun Phrases

Objective: Get Jiggy!

Texts To Send:

Don’t Be Ridonkulous

Spectacula like Dracula!

Give it a whirl, girl.

Are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb!

Fo sho!

I thang you

word to ya muthaaa

Ima get mines.

Biaatch

You’re pullin a Palin

I will not be refudiated!

That’s amazeballs!

I was devasted! Dev. A. Stated.

FAQ

How did you pick which texts to include?

They had to make us smile or laugh, or make us want to know more about the person who sent it but our biggest criteria was simple: did it make us think, “tonight just got more interesting!”

Where do you get your funny text messages from?

We write our own, scour the web and steal our best friends’ text messages. Then we actually test them on real-life guys, as opposed to the dead ones. They’re not a talkative bunch.

How many texts are in your collection?

We’ve hand-picked 320 texts across 19 dating situations. Why don’t we include more? Because most text suck and our pride won’t let us publish them. Got some you’d like to include? Leave them in the comments section.