The #1 Thing You Can Do To Attract Guys To Your Facebook Profile

Now that you know all the elements to building a flirt-friendly profile on Facebook, you’ve got one thing left to do: Social proofing it.

Itʼs a bad idea to contact guys on Facebook if you don’t have at least 50-100 friends. Friends will help you meet attractive guys in ways that may surprise you. Itʼs not about using your friends as wingmen (though it helps), or being introduced to their friends (although that helps, too). Itʼs about a powerful psychological phenomenon called “Social Proof.”

I give you two scenarios:

SCENARIO #1

You’re on Facebook and you have very few friends. You have a few decent pictures of yourself in the photo section. You see a cute guy online and you send him a flirty message. You get shot down.

SCENARIO #2

You’re on Facebook with the exact same profile as scenario #1, only you have at least 100 friends and lots of great pictures, many with great friends having a fun time. Especially with lots of guy friends. You send the same cute guy online the same flirty message as scenario #1 and he responds positively.

Whatʼs up with that?

The difference is a concept called Social Proof. In the first scenario you didnʼt have any perceived social value. In the second, you did. You subconsciously ʻprovedʼ to other guys that youʼre warm, interesting and fun–somebody worth knowing. How do they know this? Your friends. Theyʼre evidence of value. The more friends you have, the more perceived value you have.

Social proof is a well-studied psychological phenomenon. In the absence of reliable information, strangers judge you by whom youʼre with and how they react to you. If youʼre surrounded by good-looking people having a good time, your perceived value goes up. If youʼre alone, circling Facebook like a man-hungry widower, your perceived value goes down.

Social Proof is why you canʼt stand going out to dinner by yourself. Subconsciously, you know youʼre being judged as a boring, no-fun loser and my God, who wants to date THAT?

The movie Legally Blonde has a classic example of social proof. Reese Witherspoon pretends sheʼs heartbroken that an ugly guy broke up with her, causing the women around her to instantly want to know the guy– somebody they were previously ignoring.

Bars “social proof” by artificially creating lines outside the door even though theyʼre half empty inside. People think, “Gee, the bar must be worth going into because there are so many people waiting to get in.”

There is a fundamental attribution error in social proof (you can be an ass and still be surrounded by fun people; Wheaties will not make you athletic, even if the latest Olympic hero tells you so), but it exists and youʼre a fool to ignore its power.

Bottom line: Don’t contact cute guys until you’ve done two things: Built up the number of friends and uploaded a LOT of pictures, including many with friends having a great time. Especially cute friends.

Other Reasons Why Loads Of Friends Matter

Fifty to a hundred friends are your starting point. You need a lot more. When you meet someone new offline that you like, find them on Facebook that same night and send a friend request. This is how you build a big network in just a few weeks.

Apart from social proof, you need lots of friends on Facebook because:

The more friends that post to your wall, the more “in-demand” and fun you appear to be. And P.S. It really is fun to have lots of people you care about posting to your wall.

The more friends you have, the more friends you’ll get. Facebook was built on that premise. And the more friends you have, the more searching possibilities you’ll have.