Attracting Guys: What NOT To Include In Your Facebook Profile

If you want to turn off a guy in three seconds flat, just try the following:

Sexual innuendo.

Wait! What!? Since when are guys turned off by sexual innuendo? Since never, but not on Facebook. Certainly not on a profile. It looks like you don’t know where you are (“This guy thinks he’s on GrindR!”).

Guys will see you as “Blow Job Bob” and nothing more. (By the way, a friend of mine once told me, “If Blow Job Bob drunk dials you, YOU ANSWER!). Don’t be Bob. At least not on Facebook.

Misspellings.

Guys will immediately peg you as either lazy or stupid. Even if the misspelling is obvious and meant to be ironic or show your pop-culture props, don’t do it. Typing, “stooopid” just makes you sound that way.

Swear Words.

Never underestimate the depth of bad vibe that cursing in print can leave. It’s just safer to avoid it. If you have a breath-taking gift for stringing one bad word after the other, then you may want to mention it, but save the examples for future conversations.

Negative comments about past relationships.

Bitter, party of one? There’s no way around not sounding ridiculously bitter and possibly unhinged when you talk about your ex online. You may think, well, it’s better to state the facts and get them out of the way, right? Wrong. Don’t do it. It kills the mood.

Negativity in general.

So you’re sick of being single, hate your ex, or can’t stand Justin Bieber. Keep your snarky comments to yourself for now or risk getting pegged a total downer by anyone who reads your profile.

Even if snark is your specialty, you want to only hint at your extraordinary talent, and save demonstrations for later conversations. Always read your profile for negativity and flip all your complaints into desires.

Example: Instead of saying, “I hate it when people push their religious views on me,” write, “Religion is a deeply personal issue–I admire people who treat it with the respect it deserves.”

Exhaustive Lists…Of Anything.

Listing every hobby you have, job you’ve held, or country you’ve ever traveled to might seem like a great way to give people a sense of who you are. But lists have a way of making people’s eyes glaze over, and ultimately paint you as a bit of a self-centered bore.

This is going to sound counter-intuitive, but online research from Harvard, Boston University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology shows it’s better to be vague in your profile. That when it comes to information — the more details you provide, the worse you look. “People mistake vagueness for attractiveness, filling in the missing details in ways that suit their own desires,” explains a researcher in an article for Scientific American.

Instead of list-making, try focusing on two or three favorites that give a sense of your personality. For example, instead of listing every episode of INSERT TV SERIES HERE cross-referenced against the number of bikini shots, just tell us which two or three are your favorites.

No Emoticons And Abbreviations.

It’s easy to pin a smiley face or the odd LOL onto a profile. While a lot of younger guys won’t mind, there’s still a large percentage of guys who’ll roll their eyes. Instead of using them, ask yourself, “What am I trying to express?” Then express it in words.

Example: “I just launched my own business out of my house. ;>)

Better: “I just launched my own business out of my house. I get to call the shots now—in my pajamas, no less!”