Single? Do The Unthinkable In A Roomful Of Hot Men
When you’re single you live under two organizing principles: trying to meet new guys and pretending you’re not trying to meet new guys.
That’s why you hear bullshit like, “I go to gay bars for the music,” or “I don’t care if I meet someone, I’m just here to have fun.”
Right. And I go to the baths to get wet.
Cruising is an art form with difficult rules. Worse, the rules change depending on the players, the venues, and the circumstances. Cruise too hard you scare them off; cruise too little you won’t get off.
We all know people who can walk into a bar and leave with the best-looking guy in 10 minutes. It takes me 20 but only because there’s a time delay in the drugs I slip into their drinks.
Assuming you want the guy to walk out on his own and not slung over your shoulder, you shouldn’t listen to me. You should listen to my friend Tony.
Tony’s no great looker. I mean he’s above average-looking but the guys he snags, they’re not above average-looking. They’re waaaay above average looking. So above, you get a nosebleed just looking at them.
“How do you do it?” I once asked him. “Watch,” he said, as we walked into a bar. He didn’t just walk in like he owned the place; he walked in like he paid cash at the closing. And then he walked around with a genuinely warm smile, like he couldn’t wait to buy you a drink.
Contrary to what porn videos and many gay TV shows will have you believe, confidence and approachability, not contempt and inaccessibility, is what’ll get you plowed more often than a snowy Minnesota highway.
Are you one of those guys who’s pretty much given up on the idea of meeting Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now, or even Mr. Oh, You’ll Do?
My advice is to listen to Tony. Do the unthinkable in a room full of good-looking men: smile and be friendly.
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