The Formula For Attracting Guys To Your Facebook Profile

A lot of Facebook fields don’t allow for much writing. Sections like Basic Information (most of it), Education & Work, Arts & Entertainment and Sports hardly give you any room at all. But the ones that do–like Philosophy, Activities & Interests, and About Me (under Basic Information) are prime real estate to let guys know what you’re about.

I have a 3-step formula guaranteed to elicit a response from the guys you initiate contact with. It’s simple. In each of the fields where you can be a little more expansive (About Me, Activities & Interests) you need to follow these three steps:

1) Use an opening humorous line that portrays confidence.

Examples:

I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.

I invented the first cheese-less grilled cheese. You may know it as “Toast.”

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

You can see lots of examples in our flirty message collection. Now, the point isn’t that you should use those particular lines. It’s to use a humorous line that reflects who you are.

2) A short personal revelation

You want people to get a sense of who you are. You don’t need large blocks of text to do it. You just need a creative way to express some aspect of your life.

Example: I walked into the Fontainebleau hotel in Miami Beach ten years ago and I’ve been trying to wear the lobby ever since.

3) A question/call to action

Example: Why do people like the Kardashians?

If you look at any interesting Facebook profile they inevitably have some version of these three steps. Many people have asked me about #3, the call to action. Why is that important? Because it’s an invitation to respond. It’s a device to prompt engagement. And it also serves as an easy way to start a conversation for the shy who may not know where to start.

The Two Biggest Profile Must Nots

Writing A Profile That Belongs On A Dating Site

Never EVER write anything that remotely looks like the sentences below:

I am a fun person who loves movies and music.

I like walks on the beach, good conversation, and dining out.

I’m looking for someone who is fun and can make me laugh.”

I like walking on the beach and watching the sunrise.

I love dinner and a movie.

I’m looking for a soul mate.

Never write a sentence on your Facebook profile that belongs on a dating site. You will do yourself serious injury. You will look lame, pitiful and desperate. You will look like Kool-Aid to the guys looking for a full-bodied Bordeaux.

Using Cliches

It goes without saying that you should avoid clichés like the plague. And yes, I realize I just used a cliche to warn you off cliches. Seriously, clichés are instant turn-offs. They signal that you’ve got the creativity of a walnut.

The cure for cliché is details. Replace clichéd words or phrases with details about yourself and it will make anybody reading it say, “Tonight just got more interesting.”

So, for example, instead of “I like movies,” write “my favorite movie is ____ because _______.” Or, use a movie character to describe you. “I’m a lot like _____ in ______ because _______.”

Profile Musts

Now that you’ve deleted the crappy stuff, let’s look at the ways that you can stand out:

Include pop-culture references. Your profile should give potential Mr. Rights something to ask you about, whether it’s music, sports, movies, theater or art. So mention that you can’t wait to read David Sedaris’ latest, for example, or that you’re addicted to INSERT TV SHOW HERE, or that you have season tickets to the opera. By mentioning your cultural reference points, you’ll make it easy for someone to interact with you.

Also, try comparing yourself to a pop-culture figure. Saying, “I’m not as brash as INSERT CELEBRITY HERE but I’m close” is funny and it’ll get you honesty points. Or something like, “I dance better than Napoleon Dynamite—but not by much.” If they’re actually a fan of the show or movie you mention, there’s no way they can pass you by without at least saying hello.

Tell us what’s wrong with you.

Divulging a flaw is one of the easiest ways to win “awww” points. Just make sure to be charming about it. Nobody wants to know that you only shower on Thursdays, but if you tell us you’re a genius in nanotechnology but can’t figure out how to operate the remote, we’re going to really like you.

Career Confessions.

If your career is important to you and you want to mention it, fine, just don’t wave your resume at us. You’re not applying for a job, you’re looking to make a connection. Don’t trace your career back to your college minor, list every job you’ve had since high school, or detail every accomplishment in your brilliant career. You’ll come across pompous and egotistical.

Show, don’t tell.

Jane Austen never wrote, “Elizabeth Bennet was clever.” Stephen King never wrote, “The old house was scary.” Stephanie Meyer never wrote, “Edward was gorgeous.” (Oh wait. She did. Endless times. Never mind.) Please, don’t tell us that you’re funny and smart. Show us, through stories, anecdotes and observations.

Get really specific.

Specific details give the other person a conversational starting place. Include all your interests and remember that these pieces of information allow your Mr. Right to piece together your personality.

One warning, though: being specific doesn’t give you license to use clichés (I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. AAARGH!)—even if you mean them in an ironic way. The problem is that irony and sarcasm don’t translate well online. They have the potential to backfire.

Be Kind. Don’t tell us what you hate; tell us what you love.

Next week in our Facebook series: What NOT To Include In Your Profile.