An Old Concept In Meeting New Guys: Demonstrating Value
The world is divided into two kinds of people: Those who take value and those who give it. Guess who’s likeliest to meet good-looking guys? Here’s what I mean by giving value:
Make his night more interesting than before he met you.
Demonstrating value is always centered on telling people something about themselves. You’re either confirming something they’ve always felt or helping them discover new dimensions about their lives.
The value demonstrations you’re about to read are best used after an opener though in many instances they can be used as the opener themselves. Let’s start with my favorite, the Ring Revelations.
Let’s say you notice the ring on a hot guy’s finger. Let’s call him Shagability. You say: “Hey, I’m curious, why did you choose to wear that ring in that particular finger? Because you know, it says a lot about you…”
You’ll hook him–who doesn’t want to know what their choice says about them? Let’s say he’s wearing the ring on his thumb.
Sample Dialog
You: Wearing a ring on your thumb means you’ve got an independent streak that literally likes to thumb its nose on convention. See, the ancient Greeks believed that our fingers were associated with different Gods, so they wore rings accordingly. The thumb represents POSEIDON (Neptune), the god of the sea. Guess what? He was the only god that didn’t live on Mount Olympus. He did his own thing. Makes sense doesn’t it? I mean, the thumb kind of sticks out, it kind of does its own thing. So you’re expressing your independence by wearing the ring on your thumb.
Him: “Wow, that’s pretty cool, I never thought about it that way.”
You: “Right? Remind me to tell you what a ring on the index finger means.”
Now THAT’S a value demonstration. To add a touch of suspense, go through his fingers one by one and save the finger his ring is on for last. It’s a great way to build intrigue. Especially, if you walk away before that last finger!
Whenever I use Ring Revelations and walk away, Shagability invariably chases me down and practically demands an explanation of what that last finger represents. It’s really a kick to see somebody who wasn’t paying attention to you before actually seek you out!
A Few Value Demonstrations And How To Use Them.
Demonstrating value effectively takes a lot of preparation. So read up on the following demonstrations and commit them to memory.
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Ring Revelations
The fickle finger of fate might or might not be on your side but at least you’ll be able to tell it what god it’s associated with. Bone up on the symbolism:
Index Finger: Represents ZEUS (Jupiter). Zeus was the king of all gods, as well as the God of Thunder and Lightning. So the index finger represents power, energy and dominance. If Shagability’s wearing a ring on his index finger he tends to be a more dominant person. (Tip: Wave your index finger at him and say “No, no, no!” or “Don’t do that!” for color).
Middle Finger: Represents DIONYSUS (Bacchus), the god of wine. Dionysus was an irreverent party-boy god who tried to get everyone drunk and naked. So if you have a ring there you tend to do whatever you want and are less sensitive about what others think. (Tip: Lift your middle finger like you’re shooting a bird and say, “Take this job and shove it!” for effect).
Ring Finger: Represents APHRODITE (Venus), the goddess of love. It’s the choice location for a wedding ring, signifying romantic love. Interestingly, it’s the only finger that has a vein that goes straight to your heart without branching off. You’re crowning a finger that makes a direct connection with your heart.
Pinky Finger: Represents ARES (Mars), the god of war. Mobsters wear pinky rings. It signals a kind of hidden violence or conflict. Often it’s interpreted as being at war with yourself; that you’re trying to resolve some inner conflict.
But wait! What if Shagability’s not wearing one? What then?
You: Hey, I have to ask before I run: I noticed you aren’t wearing a ring. The reason I’m asking is that a spiritual friend of mine taught me that the finger you choose to wear your ring on –or the choice not to wear one at all– says something about your personality.
Him: Really like what?
You: Well, let’s take the thumb for example (go into the thumb association above). Pretty cool, huh?
Him: Yeah. But what does NOT wearing a ring mean?
You: I’d love to tell you but I’m late meeting my friends…
[Later, when you meet up with him, tell him that people who don’t wear rings are aligned with Hermes, who was the messenger of the gods. He was known for his helpfulness and generosity. So people with no rings tend to be kind and helpful friends.]
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Palm Reading
Palm reading is another fun way to interact with people and get them thinking about their favorite subject–themselves. I’ve listed a quick and easy guide to reading palms at the end of this report.
Be playful and add some hooks. Example:
You: “Give me your hand.” Then stroke your finger down his palm say, ‘interesting’ then throw his palm away.
Him: What, you can read palms? What does it say?
You: Pick the Life Line and say, “See this? That’s the retard line. It means you’re a retard.”
Then hug him.
…and walk away.
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Do you believe in ESP?
You: Do you believe in ESP? Let’s try an experiment. Pick a number from one to four without telling me. Now with your imagination create a bubble over your head and make a chalkboard appear. Okay, now draw the number you just thought of on the chalkboard.
[Close your eyes and say…] “Ok, on the blackboard I see the number 3!”
[Whether you get it right or not say] “Let’s make sure that wasn’t a fluke. This time think of a different number from 1 – 10. Draw it on your mental chalkboard. Got it?
[Close your eyes and say] “Ok, I see the number 7!”
Believe it or not, you’re going to be right about 90% of the time, since North Americans naturally tend to choose 3 and 7 as their first picks. If you get one out of two right, then tell him, “I guess ESP only works half the time.” If you get both wrong say, “See, you’re wrong, ESP doesn’t exist.”
And if you get both right? He’ll ask you how you did it and you’ll say, “I DON’T KNOW. I’ve been haunted with this gift for years!”
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Five Questions
I love this one. But you’re going to have to practice it a lot to get it right.
You: Hey, how good are you at lying? Let’s see. So what I’m gonna do is ask you five questions, and you have to answer them wrong. If you answer right you lose, got it?
#1 OK, What city are we in? (He’ll give you the wrong answer)
#2 What state are we in? (He’ll give you the wrong answer)
#3 What’s today’s date? (He’ll give you the wrong answer)
(Here is the trick: Act confused and in a curious voice ask….How many was that?
Him: “Three”
You: HA! I got you!
If he’s smart enough to give you the wrong answer (like “7”) then you say, “Oh man, you got me, have you played this game before?”
Since he’ll be excited that he won, he’ll answer, “No.”
You: Aha! GOT YOU on the fifth one!”
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Strawberry Fields
This is a popular game in Japan, of all places. The answers reveal how we see sex. But don’t state that upfront. Just ask him if he wants to play a game. Tell him the meaning of his answers afterwards.
You: Imagine you’re alone and you see a strawberry field overflowing with the reddest, juiciest strawberries you’ve ever seen. There’s a fence around it. How high is it?
(Meaning of answer: How easy it is for him to take sex)
Now you’re in the strawberry field. How many strawberries do you take?
(Meaning of answer: How much sex he wants/how many boyfriends he’s had/how many partners he’s bedded).
Okay, so you finished eating the strawberries and they were absolute heaven. How do you feel about the farmer who owns the field, now that you’ve taken his strawberries?
(Meaning of answer: How you feel about a guy after you have sex with him.)
The end. Now you go back and tell him what his answers mean. Feel free to embellish. The fence height could be a marker for his openness to new things. The number of strawberries, his enthusiasm. And the Farmer? I’ll tell you later.
There’s a similar game to this called…
- The Web of Life
Imagine you’re a spider with a web.
How many insects have you caught? What kind were they? (Describes your types of sexual conquests–exotic? Unusual? Beautiful? Strong?)
One insect escapes and says something to you. What does he say? (Describes your memories when you failed to catch a particular guy, or how you handle rejection)
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Marry, Shag or Murder
The Sex and The City classic. It’s best done walking around. You point out three guys in the crowd and he has to tell you which one he’d marry, shag or murder. Then it’s your turn. HE picks out three guys and you tell him whom you’d marry, shag or murder. Oh, and you both have to say why.
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The Lying Game (Version 2).
I love this one. But you have to do it fast.
You: I’m going to ask you 3 questions, and you have to lie. If you can’t lie, you lose. And if you lose you have to buy me a drink [ or whatever].
Okay, what color is the table?
What kind of car do you drive?
What color is the chair?
Wait, did I already ask you that? [he’ll say no]
…Uh, I win.
Have you played this game before? [he’ll say no]
I win again!
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Spot the Lie Version 1
This one’s a lot of fun. You ask him three questions. His job is to lie about one of the answers and your job is to pick out the lie. Again, you start off with “how well can you lie?”
You: Tell me 1) A place you’ve always wanted to visit. 2) A shop you like going to, and …. 3) The name of the first guy you slept with.
Then you pick out the lie. Afterwards, he’ll most likely want to turn the tables and see if he can pick out one of your lies.
Spot the Lie Version 2
This is one of my all time favorites because it’s such a cool way to get to know somebody. And it’s SO simple:
“Tell me five things about you, four of them true.”
Summary
- Demonstrating value is the art of teaching people about themselves using universally accepted symbols and personal observations.
- The main goal of demonstrating value is to make his night better than before he met you.
The only way to deliver an effective value demonstration is to memorize the different subjects and practice them on a daily basis.
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