Rule #1 In How To Cum More: Supplements Don’t Work
Hey, wait a second, what’s that smell? Check the soles of your shoes, everybody. I think we just stepped on another pile of supplement claims. They’re all over the interwebs promising you grenade-like orgasms if you just take this expensive supplement and combine it with that even more expensive pill or potion.
Talk to any legitimate urologist (like the ones in my panel) and they’ll tell you these claims are all lies designed to separate you from your wallet. Because the FDA does not regulate supplements, manufacturers and marketers can say anything they want about their products without any regard to the truth.
There are so many websites and bloggers hawking herbs, creams, lotions, and pills promising to make your penis spray semen out like an Uzi that I just have to devote a short chapter on this so you can avoid getting ripped off.
The Rip-Off Artists Always Start By Promising To Make Your Dick Bigger.
They know men have a “bigger is better” mentality. I mean, it must be true that the bigger the penis the further it’ll shoot, right? Wrong. Generally speaking, the larger the penis, the lower the velocity of ejaculation. Watch some of the videos of the tripod porn stars like John Holmes—their pop shots are usually no more than a dribble.
This makes sense as far as physics goes. A larger penis will have a wider canal that produces less pressure. Think about it, most of the porn stars that can really shoot are average-sized or slightly larger than average.
I bring this up because the first thing scammers are going to do is convince you to enlarge your penis so that you can shoot further. Let’s take a look at two of the most famous “get bigger” swindles:
The Jelquing Technique.
“Jelquing,” is an ancient “penis lengthening” action, where you stroke your half-hard penis for hours on end. Right. The only thing that’s going to lengthen is your smile. It is a totally discredited method of lengthening your penis or creating an environment for forceful ejaculations. The only reason Jelquing persists is that it started out in ancient civilizations as a way of introducing boys to the eventual joys of sex with women. Stay away from this—you’ll just end up rubbing your dick raw and for all the wrong reasons.
Enzyte, Extenze Or Other Penis Enlargement Bullshit.
People, people! There is no way to “MAKE YOUR DICK BIGGER THAN A CLUB!!!” There’s no pill, no pump, no enzyme that’s going to give you “THE MIRACLE OF A 14-INCH HORSE COCK!!!! There’s no surgery that’s going to give you “MEATY 10-INCH SCHLONGS!!!!
Yes, I know you’d like to “ADD FOUR TERRIFYING INCHES TO YOUR WANG!!!! But I’m afraid the only way you can do that is to put your dick on my desk so I can whack it with a hammer. You won’t believe how big it’ll get.
I know you can’t open an email or see a TV commercial without being inundated with offers to make your dick as big as a rhino. A lot of you (with any luck you’re one of them) wonder what kind of shmuck would click on these links and order penis enlargement pills or herbs? It’s so obviously a fraud you’d figure the spam would decrease over time as the “male enhancement” industry realized that nobody was stupid enough to actually order their crap.
Unfortunately, you can never go broke over-estimating male stupidity. According to Wired News, a security flaw at a website selling penis enlargement pills revealed just how many people were buying their dong dung.
An order log at one of these websites was left exposed and showed that over a month’s time 6,000 people responded to their spam and on average, ordered two bottles of pills at $50 a pop.
If men were any more stupid they’d have to be watered twice a week. You’d think only the uneducated would believe that you can take a pill or an herb and go from bi-ped to tripod, but you’d be wrong. Get a load of some of the people revealed as customers by the exposed weblog: A manager of a mutual fund with a Park Avenue office, the president of an airplane parts company (he put $300 of the rot on his American Express card) and the head of a credit firm.
Joe Miksch, a columnist for the Fairfield County Weekly, published an account of what happened when he bought the company’s product (I refuse to name it on the grounds that my readers are constantly banging the stupid meter to the right and I refuse to aid and abet them). Anyway, his account of taking the pills that promised “3 FULL INCHES IN LENGTH” went something like this: “Day One: No change. Day two: No Change. Day Three: No change. Days four through 30: See above.”
So, no, don’t expect the swindlers to stop anytime soon. As long as idiot men are around, there will always be someone to separate them from their wallets. Don’t be one of them.
You Can’t Make It Bigger But You Can Make It Look Bigger.
Optical illusions make a lot of us think we’ve got small dicks. Take porn for example. It’s probably most responsible for making guys feel inadequate about the size of their prize. Porn makes you think everybody but you has a big dick. But video cameras are famous for “putting ten pounds on you.” Believe me, I know. The first time I saw myself on “The Sex Inspectors” (don’t worry, I was fully clothed—it wasn’t that type of show!) I thought, “Where’d I get that body?” I mean, I’m in shape but I ain’t that buff. If a camera can make me look buff what’s it doing to average-sized schlongs?
Here’s another optical illusion you’re under: Almost everybody else’s penis looks bigger in the locker room because you’re looking straight at theirs but down at yours. Angles make a difference. If you want to get a better indication of the size of your dick, don’t look down; look in the mirror. And if you want to add an “optical inch,” trim the bush around the base of your penis. What you think of as small is probably just hidden in the forest. Trimming a little will often make it look like you’ve got the Florida Panhandle dangling between your legs.
What About All Those Legitimate Herbs And Supplements—Will They Help?
You’ve seen credible herbs and supplements like zinc, Horny Goat Weed (Epimedium) or amino acids like L-Arginine advertised as the magic bullet to spraying bullets out of your dick. Do they work?
No.
Let me repeat that in case I didn’t put enough white space above and below my answer:
NO.
There are absolutely no studies backing up any contention that supplements work for our stated purpose and there is not a urologist on the planet who recommend them. SO STOP TAKING THEM or better yet, don’t start.
If herbs, supplements, pills and “ancient techniques” like jelquing don’t work, what will? I’m going to tell you but it won’t make any sense until you understand which factors contribute to an erupting ejaculation. Because if you understand that, then my recommendations are going to make a lot more sense to you. So, let’s find out exactly why some guys can paint the walls and others can only drip on the floor.
Next week: four major factors that contribute to an explosive ejaculation.