Gay Dating Tip: Insecurity Is the Least Appealing Trait in a Partner.

Insecurity is an unattractive trait. Everyone knows it but not everyone shows it. Especially the insecure. Of course a lot of insecure guys don’t see themselves as insecure: they see themselves as being open and vulnerable and willing to discuss their feelings, especially their weaknesses.

While being verbose about your inner feelings is an admirable trait it is only admirable AFTER you have established trust and intimacy in the relationship. But it has no place before you do because it will be seen as insecurity rather than vulnerability.

One of the best ways to stop feeling insecure is to stop talking about your insecurity.

A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that the only way to get over something is to constantly talk about it. They think that the only way that they can become truly close to their partner is to confide their insecurity.

Now, it IS important to talk because being vulnerable is important in building intimacy. The confiding of vulnerabilities deepens love and creates the kind of tenderness and support we all crave.

But when you repeat your insecurities like a scratched record (wait, what is the modern equivalent of a record? You can’t really say “like a scratched MP3”) you’re not being vulnerable: you’re being annoying.

Even talking about how well you’re getting over your insecurities is a mark of insecurity. You’re not aiming for a lack of insecurity. You are aiming for confidence, that universally sexy trait. And let me tell you something about confidence: it cannot be declared; it can only be demonstrated.

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