Question:
One day I was staring at my balls after I beat off and realized they were moving by themselves. At first I thought it was because I had just ejaculated, but they move by themselves whether I’ve masturbated or not. Do they have a life of their own? Why do they move?
— Movin’ on up…and down
Dear Movin’:
The movement is what experts call “testicular circulation”—blood coursing throughout the scrotum via internal streets and avenues known as veins and arteries.
When your balls are practically doing the tango with each other it’s because of the cremaster and dartos muscles. They move testicles in and out like the line outside my editor’s bedroom.
Remember, testicles are sperm factories and they’re heat sensitive. Sperm need to be kept at a certain temperature or they’ll start dying like flies in a jar—slowly and painfully.
When the “boys” get cold, they snuggle up and get warm. When they’re hot they hang lower than the scruples of a circuit queen looking for her next bump.
Ever notice how just before orgasm, your testicles get into a lock-and-load position? That’s the cremaster and dartos muscles working it as hard as you are.
Want to try a cool experiment? Make the boys dance. Next time you’re in bed with a guy (and if you’re like the rest of my readers, that should be in about 10 minutes), touch the upper inner portion of his thigh.
Watch closely as his testicles move in the direction away from where your hand is touching. It’s called the cremasteric reflex, which keeps the boys out of harm’s way. When the “threat” is over, the testicles will come back to whatever position they feel safe in. Usually, your partner’s mouth.