General

In a stunning, ‘oh no, he didn’t’ act of irresponsibility, the Pope said people in Africa shouldn’t use condoms because it would further spread HIV infections.

22 million people are infected in Africa, and three quarters of all AIDS deaths occurred there in 2007. “You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the pope told reporters aboard a jet to the continent. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”

The Pope believes that abstinence, not condoms, is the only way to stop the raging AIDS epidemic. Fine. You don’t have to give up your belief in abstinence to have an impact on curbing the spread of HIV. You just have to give up making everything else its enemy.

The Pope seemed to have declared logic, reason and facts the new Axis of Evil. Condoms are far more likely to protect you from HIV than abstinence. Studies show that “condom failure” hovers around 1-5%. They also show that “abstinence failure” hovers around 80% (very few people can practice abstinence over a long period of time and when they ‘fall off the wagon’ they almost never use protection).

I understand Pope Benedict XVI wants to advocate abstinence but he doesn’t have to do it in a way that tells the world, “Just Say No To Safe Sex.”

Uh, excuse me, Miss Lohan — may I call you Lindsay? You don’t know me, but it seems to me that you need a friend right about now; or maybe a compassionate third party to sit you down and tell it to you straight. Oh, sorry — I mean gayly forward.

We could go somewhere quiet to talk, away from the paps, West Hollywood and TMZ. Like Iowa. We’ll order up a couple of venti soy lattes, roll up our sleeves and work through this shit together.

So. Girl trouble, eh? I heard that you broke it off with Samantha because you want to focus on yourself. I respect that. But news from the Ronson camp is saying that you’re kinda sorta stalking your ex. Gate crashing private parties, harassing her family and trash texting on Twitter like it’s your public Burn Book. What about the alleged claims of drug use and cutting yourself? And now the threat of a restraining order? Either you’re using the Method approach to reprise Glenn Close’s role in a re-make of “Fatal Attraction” or your definition of me-time is severely whack.

Linds, here’s the thing: you’ve got commitment issues. And I’m not talking about talking about Sam. I’m talking about your inability to commit to yourself.

[Read more…] about Lindsay Lohan: Are you getting advice from Tom Cruise again?

If I ever have children, the person I would want to be the guardian of those children should anything happen to me (and my children’s father) is one of my closest friends – who is also a gay man. He wants very much to have the right to marry, and although I would support this desire in any circumstance, I find myself becoming VERY emotionally invested in this for partly selfish reasons.

This is the man I would trust to raise my children above anyone else. I love my family and my other good friends, but he is the person in my life whose values align the closest with mine, not to mention being the most responsible person I know. From my perspective, it is in my interests (and the interests of any kids I may have) for him to be able to form a stable long-term relationship and to marry – with all the legal benefits associated with that institution.

How gay marriage strengthens straight marriage

I’m gay and not sold on gay marriage

Where does gay marriage rank in the top ten reasons why heterosexuals divorce?

Click here for an explosively emotional site that helps conservative parents come to terms with their gay children

Hannity: Why do you ask women who call you what they’re wearing?

Levin: I only do it to know-nothing women liberals

Hannity (laughing):  But you actually ask them what they’re wearing?

Levin: Yeah, so they’ll shut up.   It distracts them.  They sputter and I don’t have to hear any of their nonsense.

The “wait until you know someone before you get naked” approach might not be the rage on college campuses, but an increasing number of relationship gurus are advising women to heed Grandma’s wisdom, and make the guy buy the cow before you start giving away the milk.

In her new book, “Not Tonight, Mr. Right” (Marlowe and Company, $13.95), sex expert Kate Taylor suggests “women who quickly jump in the sack have their hearts broken faster” and “relationships are more fun, easier and longer lasting” when you stay vertical instead of going horizontal.

Men — well, those who aren’t the fathers of teenage girls — might argue against waiting, yet Taylor claims, “smart girls don’t.”

Prior to preaching the “no nookie, keep-your-knickers-on-until-you’re-sure” mantra, Taylor, a Brit with a wicked sense of humor, authored several sex books. After suffering her own heartaches, Taylor awakened to the idea that, “if you sleep with a man right away, you are throwing away your best chance of making him become absolutely wild about you.”

Her research reveals that men find their partner less attractive and sexy after their first roll between the sheets, but women find their partner more sexy after their first romp.  The culprit is

[Read more…] about Should you stay vertical on a first date?

Oi vey.

I twisted. I turned. I squirmed. I picked up a book. I did not want to have a conversation with this woman. But having grown up with a Jewish grandmother, I knew resistance was futile.

So we talked. And sure enough she raised a question so Jewish it practically comes with Matzo balls: “So are you single?”

There’s a time and a place for coming out. This wasn’t one of them. “Yes,” I answered, quickly changing the subject. But she kept returning to the subject. “A nice boy like you not married?” I said something about not meeting the right person and changed the subject again.

Ignoring the subject switch, she said, “Well, I bet you have plenty of girls you’re dating.”

I told her I didn’t and changed the subject. *Again.* She changed the subject right back. “So, really,” she asked me. “Tell me why you haven’t married.”

I cracked. I put my book down, turned to her and said,

“I would if I could.” She was confused. I looked in her eyes. “I’m gay.”

Judging by the length of her silence, I clearly surprised her. And she surprised me right back. Her reaction wasn’t at all what I expected. She didn’t turn her shoulder and ignore me for the rest of the flight. She didn’t suddenly go quiet and change the subject. Instead, she narrowed her eyes and said,

“Why do you people constantly flaunt your homosexuality? The peace on the plane was about to turn into a fight on the flight. “What do you mean ‘flaunt,'” I said, exasperated. “I’ve been trying to keep my private life private but you’ve been badgering me about it for the last 15 minutes. What did you want me to do–lie?”

“Yes,” she said.

And with that one word I understood something about conservative people that I hadn’t realized before. If they can’t change you to fit their

[Read more…] about At least have the decency to lie about your sexuality.

Because really,
it’s going to cramp my style

Despite having been out and proud for almost fifteen years, I am at constant odds with my fellow gays and bleeding-heart liberals over holy homo matrimony. I understand that gay couples are denied the financial and legal perks that come with the legalized sanctity of marriage. However, these perks come at a cost. I’m still not convinced that most gay people actually get what gay marriage would mean not only to our community, but to their relationships. I’ve compiled a short list of activities that will no longer be acceptable once the gays are able to start filing joint tax returns.

A. No more three ways. Ever! Not even when you’re both really drunk, out of town, and the hot bartender asks where your hotel is. Remember growing up, how your parents never came back after a night out with some random person? Exactly.

B. No more moving at the speed of light. If you connect with someone that you’ve met at a softball game or sex party, you cannot make copies of your house keys for them within the week. Think about all of the straight weddings you’ve been to, how the couples knew each other since high school or college. Just because someone swallowed on the first date or can make your ex jealous does not necessarily make them marriage material. Clearly, when the Iowa Supreme Court deliberated on gay marriage, they did not take that into account.

C. No more of this open relationship crap. Sure, you and your partner may have a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, but once gay marriage is legal, …

[Read more…] about Gay Marriage: I’m gay, but I ain’t sold on it.

As outrageous as it may sound, heterosexual families will become stronger and stronger as more states follow the New York gay marriage proposal, Iowa’s gay marriage ruling and Vermont’s veto override. Gay marriage will reduce the number of divorces caused by fraudulent marriages, ensure that more orphaned children grow up in stable homes, raise the standard of living for children with gay parents, make neighborhoods safer for families, and boost the economies of struggling communities.

It’s not the license to marry that will create these benefits; it’s the massive shift in attitude that’ll result from it. The more gays are accepted as equal citizens the more stable heterosexual marriage will become. Why? Because there are an untold number of “traditional” marriages that break up because one of the spouses comes out.

Homophobia drives fearful gay men and women into fraudulent marriages. The pressure to conform, the weight of discrimination, the potential loss of cherished dreams (serving in the military, worshipping in church, getting job promotions, raising kids) propels many into marriages they otherwise wouldn’t commit to. Like my friend Cooper.

Cooper is 64 and recently divorced. He was married for 38 years before he came out. He left behind him a woman whose life was shattered by a truth that tunneled its way out of the mounds of shame, hostility and hatred that society heaped on it. The woman is 62. What is she supposed to with her life now the he’s found his?

Homophobia has a way of wounding gay and straight alike. It creates two classes of victims: People who are forced to lie and the people they lie to. As homophobia decreases, so will the pressure for gays and lesbians to enter into fig leaf marriages. Which in turn, prevents children from being hurt by divorce and helps heterosexuals, like Cooper’s wife, create authentic, stable marriages.

Homophobia punishes heterosexuals, too. For every gay man and woman that gets punished by the legal system there are straight mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters who suffer with them.

According to my calculations (see box below), 57.6 million people are either directly or indirectly affected by homophobia. Since demographers believe there are only about 6.4 million self-identified gay people, that means 89% of the people affected by discrimination against gays are heterosexual.

No matter how they feel about homosexuality, no parent wants to see their children hurt, no brother wants to see his sister in danger, no uncle wants to see his nephew suffer. One of the intangible costs of homophobia is the excruciating emotional pain felt by everyone related to the gay family member. Lessen homophobia, as gay marriage will, and you lessen the strain on millions of families.

Estimated Numbers:
6.4 million gays and lesbians
6.4 million siblings of gays and lesbians (assuming each gay person has one sibling)
12.8 million parents of gays and lesbians (assuming each parent is alive)
25.6 million grandparents (assuming two sets of living grandparents)
6.4 million uncles and aunts (assuming one per gay person)

Total: 57.6 million

How Gay Marriage Helps Your Neighborhood
Ferndale, Michigan’s downtown was once lined with abandoned buildings. After years of courting gays to live and start businesses, it had a vacancy rate of less than 3 percent (before the recession hit.

Ferndale followed the theories in the bestselling book, “The Rise of the Creative Class.” Civic leaders across the country pay over $10,000 to hear the author, urban planner Richard Florida, talk about the best way to revitalize their communities. His thesis: If cities want to jump-start their economies they must attract the dominant economic group in America–people who think for a living (doctors, lawyers, scientists, engineers, entrepreneurs and computer programmers). Dubbing them the “Creative Class,” Florida points out they’re the most dominant economic group, making up nearly 30% of the workforce.

Florida produced a number of indexes measuring characteristics of successful cities. There’s a High-Tech Index (ranking cities by the size of their software, electronics and engineering sectors) and an Innovation Index (ranking cities by the number of patents per capita).

But one of Florida’s most talked-about ranking is the Gay Index. He told
[Read more…] about Gay Marriage: How it Strengthens Heterosexual Marriages

Growing up we always had dachshunds. My mother was partial to the females because they wouldn’t hike their legs and mark all the furniture. They were such cute, fun, caring animals, playful and dedicated to us. Until they went into heat.

Overnight, our dogs would lose interest in playing fetch or chasing us around the yard. They had one thing on their minds as they walked around in a daze. They wanted to get laid. And they wanted it bad.

Everything made them horny. There was no avoiding it. Even pats on their backs would send them into a frenzy, whining and grinding their butts against your leg. No stuffed toy was safe in our house when the dogs were “in season.” Any unattended dolls or teddy bears would be violated like Jodie Foster in “The Accused.” Care Bears, ALF dolls, and Cabbage Patch Kids were used up and thrown out like street whores. Our adorable and loving pets transformed from Mother Theresas into man-eating Paris Hiltons right before our eyes.

That always stuck with me, how at just the thought of sex some creatures will completely change. Knowing this better prepared me for life as a man, particularly for life as a gay man.

I am famous for thinking up ridiculous pick-up lines and using them on men in bars, anticipating nothing from the effort except big laughs from my friends. For example:

[Read more…] about Do men go into relationship heat the way dogs go in season?