Men’s sex fantasies

Angelina Jolie has a proposition for you: First, she wants to watch you have sex with Brad Pitt, and then she’ll have sex with you. Do you go for it?

Yes 19%

No 81%

Hmmm, maybe I’m not the only one who thinks Angelina Jolie is gross.

Would it turn you on to see your girl have sex with another guy?

Yes 12%

No 88%

Of course not, we all know dudes want to watch their girl have sex with another girl.

Have you ever…

Measured your penis?

[Read more…] about Survey: 19% of men would bone Brad Pitt if it meant sex with Angelina.

I’ll never forget the day my friends told me about craigslist.com. I had something to sell, oh yeah, it was a house, and they told me to slap it up on craigslist. I had no idea what they were talking about. I thought Craig was some doughy dude who lived in my neighborhood and sat out on his porch every morning to smoke cigarettes in dirty boxers. But they swore, they swore to me, that my house would sell in an instant on craigslist.
They lied. My house did not sell on craigslist.com. But still the event serves as a portal of some kind, because with two clicks I’d wandered into the unseemly underside of craigslist.com, and yes, I’m talking about the “casual encounters” section, or, more particular, the women-seeking-men and the men-seeking-men departments.

What do you see on craigslist? There are untold numbers of photos of buttocks offered by people as examples of their best assets, while other people, mostly female, seem to be prioritizing other qualities about themselves, like their affinity for gazing at sunsets and such. I remember perusing at my own peril through the women-seeking-men section, and came across an entry from a lady in her late 40s who was seeking someone with which, among other things, she could hold hands with while walking on the beach. The photograph she supplied was of her own reflection as she snapped one off while looking in the mirror, an excited expression on her face that was evident even through the blare of the flashbulb. She held the camera at shoulder level, to facilitate a better vantage of the whole package.

I would not recommend this as a way to meet men, because if I were a serial killer I would have immediately clicked onto her response with the handle of my sharpened ax.

[Read more…] about Is Craigslist the new hell?

According to the latest Psychology Today, a reknowned flavorist made truffles taste like a virgin. (Sorry, no link, they didn’t put the story online).  Here’s how she did it:

“I created it from the analysis of the aroma of a virgin’s belly button. It tasted like rose and vanilla. It was powdery and clean, yet seductive and sweet.”

Could you make this shit up?

I’m just wondering…during the cooking process…if they  inserted a baking utensil, would the dessert end up smelling like a slut?

I say there are two kinds of people who oppose porn:  Those who don’t know what they’re talking about and those who don’t know what they’re missing.  This flowchart, proudly stolen from Holy Taco, proves me wrong.  We know exactly what we’re getting!

Thanks goes to the witty Susan Welsh at hookingupsmart.com for alerting me to this.  Check her out!

Weep alert! Only 6% of men need extra large condoms

Hysterical video on how to measure your penis (PG rated)

Is Porn Bad for You?

Can you be straight and do gay porn?

Why do lesbians watch gay porn?

You’d think it’s a parody, but it isn’t. It’s Linds herself!  My favorite line:  “I’m creative, a bit of a night owl, a workaholic, a shopaholic, and according to the State of California, an alcoholic.”

Courtesy Funny Or Die!

Lindsay Lohan, are you taking advice from Tom Cruise again?

Stephen Colbert put out an anti-gay marriage video in response to the one put out by the conservative “Nation of Marriage.” It does more to promote gay marriage than any serious, earnest, just-the-facts counter-attack ever could. See what I mean:

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“Rights should not be stifled by fear and silence should not be a response to injustice.”

Harvey Milk could charm a banana out of a gorilla’s hands. God Himself cocked his ear whenever he made a speech. And clearly, few politicians sacrificed more for their cause.

A lot of gay folks have been waiting for Harvey to come back in another form. But really, who’d have thought that the next Harvey Milk would be straight?

Or black?

Or blind?

Just like a lot of African-Americans think of Barack Obama as the Next Great Leader after Martin Luther King, my guess is that if New York governor David Paterson keeps up the fight for New York gay marriage, a lot of gay folks are going to see him as Harvey Milk 2.0.

Sure, there have been others that have come close, notably Gavin Newsome, the mayor of San Francisco, and Bill Clinton. Yes, BILL CLINTON (click here to see why he’ll be remembered as a gay civil rights pioneer).

Which reminds me, why is it that the most iconic gay civil rights figures since Milk are straight? Can you imagine feminists trumpeting some male politician as the next Susan B. Anthony?

At any rate, [Read more…] about Is David Paterson the new Harvey Milk?

Studies show the average penis size is…

Weep alert! Only 6% of men need extra large condoms

Hysterical video on how to measure your penis (PG rated)

Obama is on Facebook, as is Oprah, and they’re both older than I am, so you’d think I’d fit right in.

But alas, it would appear that the leader of the free world and the queen of talk and philanthropy possess more panache than me. Because not only does my daughter refuse to friend me, but none of her friends will accept my Internet overtures either. Teenagers I have lovingly welcomed into my home for over a decade have now turned their electronic backs on me.

Apparently having a picture of your mom, or your friend’s mom, on your Facebook page is social suicide (even if it is an airbrushed publicity shot in which she has been assured that she looks almost un-mom like).

[Read more…] about Why I’m Unfriending my Husband on Facebook