General

As a karate black belt, it’s true that I can kill a man with my bare hands. Not once, however, have I been forced to plunge my FBI-registered hands into a man’s chest and pull out his beating heart as he realized in astonishment that he had finally messed with the wrong guy. No, I use karate to avoid danger and stay the hell outta people’s way.

It’s also true that my martial arts skills are no match when it comes to dating women, who have developed the far more potent marital arts skills. The main difference between martial arts and marital arts is that women have a lifetime of training and practice in the art of crushing a man’s heart, without the messiness of physically extracting it from the guy’s chest.  I can break several boards with a kick. Big deal. A woman can knock a man off a fence with one sentence. I’ll explain:

[Read more…] about I can crush a man’s heart with my hands. Women do it with a sentence.

The protesters at Obama’s Notre Dame commencement speech reminds me that when people talk about the morality of abortion, the barrel of the ethical gun is always pointed at women. Men don’t seem to occupy a bearing in the equation. They should. Not in the formulation of abortion’s legality or the influence of their partner’s choice, but in an entirely different moral obligation: To help women survive their decision. And that lies mostly in bearing witness to their pain.

Two essays give men just that opportunity.

The first, by Ayelet Waldman, makes you so uncomfortable with its raw honesty that you seriously weigh the merits of keeping your head in the sand. “I decided to terminate my pregnancy,” writes Waldman. “I know exactly what I did, I wept for the fetus I killed — and I have no regrets.”

Though Waldman goes to great pains to say she believes in a woman’s right to make the decision, she writes, “I also believe that to end a pregnancy like mine is to kill a fetus. Kill. I use that word very consciously and specifically.” [Read more…] about How to survive an abortion.

I’ve been a chronic masturbator since the age of thirteen and after 40 years of practice, I’ve gotten quite good at it. After sneaking and reading my Mama’s copy of The Sensuous Woman written under the pseudonym J (Joan Garrity) published in 1969, I began a daily regimen of self gratification. In her book, Joan Garrity gave explicit instructions on how to masturbate and actually encouraged masturbation. Masturbation was frowned upon in my Southern Baptist family as something leading to a fast track to hell, blindness, insanity, acne and abnormal hair growth. Yet, my stolen afternoons with my favorite cucumber led me to understand how to give myself an orgasm and led to my current fascination and love of pleasuring myself.

In 1995, May was officially declared National Masturbation Month by a company called Good Vibrations www.goodvibes.com to protest firing of U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders. Elders was asked a question about safe sex and responded with “Masturbation is something that should be taught in schools.” Sex education providers around the nation agreed with her but the conservative consensus didn’t and she was fired. Too bad, because that sounds like a class that kids would have actually enjoyed the homework for. In this age of kids doing everything on Nintendo or PlayStation, it would be nice to see teenagers actually doing something IRL (in real life). Somehow, I don’t see a masturbation video game ever being as interesting as actual masturbation.

[Read more…] about Touch Yourself. It’s National Masturbation Month

From Reuters:

PRINCETON, N.J., July 1 /PRNewswire/ — Americans rate their sexual
satisfaction as only just above average (6.5 out of 10) according to findings
from a new survey released today by the makers of Trojan(R) Brand Condoms.
While U.S. men and women report having sex 84 times a year, or seven times a
month, 71 percent say they are always looking for ways to increase pleasure in
the bedroom, with 60 percent agreeing pleasure aids such as vibrators or
massagers could really spice up lovemaking.

Increased vibrator usage could bode well for America’s overall sexual health.
According to another recent study from researchers at the Center for Sexual
Health Promotion at Indiana University, there is something to be said about
vibrator usage and sexual health(1).

A National Pleasure Deficit?
The survey, commissioned by Trojan through StrategyOne and measuring sexual
frequency and satisfaction, finds only about one fifth (21 percent) of
respondents are “extremely satisfied” with their sex lives and one in three
(30 percent) are generally “dissatisfied.”

Not surprisingly, two-thirds of Americans (62 percent) wish they were having
sex more often, while a small, yet surprising, number of people report having
too much sex (4 percent). Men (73 percent) are more likely than women (53
percent) to want more frequent sex.

Further, 83 percent of Americans believe good sex is an important part of
overall health and wellbeing, and 76 percent say they are looking for ways to
make their sex lives more exciting. Seventy-five percent believe “sex without
an orgasm is like the Fourth of July without fireworks,” an appropriate
descriptor with the Fourth of July being a traditional boom time for condom
sales.

Fireworks Drive Condom Sales
“The Fourth of July is historically a big sales event for condom manufacturers
and distributors,” said Jim Daniels, Vice President of Marketing for Trojan
Brand Condoms. “When the holiday falls on a long weekend, another traditional
condom sales driver, the resulting sales spike can be even more pronounced
making it an ideal time to introduce new products into the marketplace.”

To help enhance the pleasure of Americans, the makers of Trojan Brand Condoms
recently released their newest product innovation, Trojan Ecstasy, which is
available in Ultra Ribbed(TM), Magnum(TM) and Her Pleasure(TM) varieties
(average SRP of $9.99) and employs a groundbreaking new design. This new
design has resulted in some of the highest pleasure and satisfaction consumer
test scores in Trojan product history.

“With Trojan Ecstasy, we took a completely different approach to design and
created a condom shape that was actually bigger at the tip to allow for a more
natural fit for him. The condom is also lubricated on both sides for an
incredibly natural feel for both partners,” said Mike Harrison, chief
principal scientist and condom innovator for Trojan Brand Condoms. “By doing
this we created a condom that feels like nothing is there.”

The makers of Trojan Brand Condoms are also introducing the newest addition to
their innovative vibrations line-up, the Trojan Her Pleasure Vibrating
Mini(TM). Available for an SRP of $19.99, the Trojan Her Pleasure Vibrating
Mini joins other Trojan Vibrations products, including the new Trojan
Multi-Speed Vibrating Ring(TM) and Her Pleasure Vibrating Touch Fingertip
Massager(TM). These products are available at select retailers nationwide.

The Cities of Ecstasy
While Trojan Ecstasy condoms will be available nationwide, the Trojan States
of Pleasure survey points to sexual pleasure and frequency discrepancies among
the largest U.S. metropolitan areas. According to the data, sexual
satisfaction is highest in Atlanta (73 percent) and New York (71 percent) and
lowest in San Francisco (63 percent) and Philadelphia (64 percent).

Meanwhile, Houston residents have the most sex per year by a large margin,
with residents reporting having sex 101 times annually. Atlanta ranks second
in sexual frequency (88 times per year), while San Franciscans report having
the least sex (60 times per year). Philadelphia, Dallas-Fort Worth and Chicago
all report the second lowest rates of sexual activity at 73 times per year.

Sexual Frequency by City (per year):
1. Houston 101
2. Atlanta 88
3. Washington D.C. 86
4. Los Angeles 82
5. New York 80
6. Boston 79
7. Chicago 73
8. Dallas/Ft. Worth 73
9. Philadelphia 73

10. San Francisco 60

Rates of Sexual Satisfaction by City:
1. Atlanta 73%
2. New York 71%
3. Houston 70%
4. Dallas/Ft. Worth 67%
5. Chicago 66%
6. Los Angeles 66%
7. Washington D.C. 65%
8. Philadelphia 64%
9. San Francisco 63%

10. Boston 60%

About The Survey
The Survey was conducted on behalf of Trojan brand condoms by StrategyOne, a
full-service corporate positioning, market research and strategic
communications agency in New York, NY. The survey was conducted online among a
sample of 1,000 men and women 18+ using the field services of Greenfield
Online. The results are nationally representative of the U.S. and have a
margin of error of +/- 3.1 percent at the 95 percent confidence level. A total
of 150 surveys were also conducted online among adults 18+ in each of the ten
largest U.S. cities. For each city, the results are representative on age,
education and ethnicity with a margin of error of +/- 8 percent.

About Trojan(R)
TROJAN(R) Brand Condoms are America’s #1 condom and have bee

Guest blogger Lisa Brower introduces a new weekly segment, named after a slang term for female sexual arousal.

This week’s “Wide-On” was inspired by the lustful imagination of fellow blogger, the elegant Mrs. Legally Blonde. I want to thank her for the suggestion because if you all leave it to me, all you’ll  have to pant over are tall blondes, as I rarely deviate from type.

The studly Argentinian polo player and face of Ralph Lauren’s Black Label line would be a nice addition to any fantasy stable. I personally would take a tail shot from his mallet any day.

As always, please send your suggestions in unless you want to be stuck with my rotating line up of Viggo Mortensen, Daniel Craig, Daria Torres, Alexander Skarsgard, or Jackie Warner.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva

I was sitting alone in an abortion clinic waiting my turn. I remember waking up at 5am or so to get to the clinic by 6:30am for a 7am appointment. That turned into a 9am appointment. Let me tell you something. I’ve had very few humbling experiences like that one. I looked around the waiting room and recognized the look on so many of the women’s faces. Most of them were there alone, like me. They had this expression on their face that I will never forget.

Shame.

Their eyes all looked empty. Their mouths were tight. They avoided any and all eye contact. But I still could read their minds. They, and I, were thinking, “What wrong turn did I make to end up here? How did it get that bad?”

I made the decision to terminate my pregnancy quite easily. In fact, looking back on it, I’m alarmed at how easy that decision was. It was never a question. I was completely detached. The father did what a lot of men in his situation do and denied it was his, claiming I was lying and making it up. I can remember him coming over my apartment and giving me $150 dollars, not saying a word, turning and walking away. He wouldn’t even look at me. I went in for my first appointment and was told to come back because I wasn’t far enough along. Yes, I went through the first part, the blood tests, the waiting, the watching women walk in and out of the waiting room with this vacant look in their eyes not once, but twice.

I had two weeks before they could do the procedure. In that time, I did everything I could to avoid thinking that their was a small, peanut sized person growing inside me. It wasn’t until the day before I went in for the second appointment that I found myself talking to him. Yes, I had this gut feeling it was a boy. I asked him to understand why I was doing what I was doing. That I wasn’t ready, couldn’t provide for him, blah blah blah. I gave him a few pat excuses.  The real reason, at least this is what I told myself, was that I just didn’t want him. It’s quite easy to convince yourself of certainly realities and truths isn’t it?

The morning before I went in, I remember looking at this picture of my Mother I have hung on my wall over my bed. That’s when it really hit me. Here I was acknowledging a connection that I never really experienced or acknowledged as I was about to terminate another one.  I said one final prayer to my Mom and asked her to take care of William for me. That was his name. It came to me so easily as I prayed, too. As if it had been there all along. The only person, other than Karen and the father, who knew was my uncle, a Franciscan priest. He wanted so badly to come with me that day, but for obvious reasons couldn’t. [Read more…] about Why it took an abortion to discover myself.

Men and women in relationships complain about different things. But even researchers were stunned at how different those complaints are. In fact, there’s only one that irritates the crap out of both genders:

Just moments after being told she could retain her beauty pageant crown, Miss California Carrie Prejean renewed her commitment to her mission, telling reporters, “From this day forward I promise I will use my naked breasts for good.” The embattled pageant winner said she would be both “tireless and topless” in her efforts to fight same-sex unions. “I will go anywhere, anytime, anyway to make my case,” she said. “These breasts are made for walking.”

Ms. Prejean refused to answer questions about another controversial topic, enhanced interrogation techniques, but she did remark, “I have always been in favor of enhancement.” Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA pageant, praised Ms. Prejean for her fearlessness in the face of harsh criticism, adding, “I like what I’ve seen of Carrie and I hope to see much more of her.”

How else can you explain my ex-boyfriend “Larry”? Closeted when I met him, he was popular, gorgeous, smart and athletic. He was the “be” to everyone’s bop. Then he came out. Everybody he hung out with liked to do drag and camp it up. Suddenly, Larry started shaving his legs, wearing tight shorts and calling everyone “girl.” He ripened into a fruit before my very eyes.

One day he made me close my eyes and sit at the foot of his bed for a surprise. He pulled out a long black wig and a slinky Bob Mackie knockoff. And that was the end of that. Now, was Larry born with the desire to dress like Cher or did he just adapt to a culture that demanded it?

I’m not the only one who has lost boyfriends to the culture’s pansy vortex. My friend Gary dated this really cool guy who spoke four languages. He got sucked into the vortex and never came out. Now he lisps in four languages.

So, what fuels the gay flame? On the one hand, there really are guys who come out of the womb complaining about the backlighting. But my feeling is that just as many learn to complain. I’ve always maintained that effeminacy is like obesity. Sometimes it’s glandular, but mostly it’s cultural. [Read more…] about Is effeminacy a choice?