General

“If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your electrician.”

I logged onto Facebook today and was bombarded with invitations by friends to hit the streets in protest of California’s not overturning Proposition 8, their law that bans same-sex marriage. Noble protests, in my opinion, but misdirected, considering that neither myself nor anyone inviting me actually lives in California. This sort of logic escapes me, like storming a McDonald’s demanding a refund because Burger King got your order wrong.

I am pro-gay marriage. I don’t think it runs the risk of devaluing marriage in American society. Straight people have devalued it enough (Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley, for example). I think gay marriage would be an enormous boost to a struggling economy, extremely benefiting the entertainment, real estate, and legal communities. More importantly, I think gay marriage would dramatically improve the lives of thousands of overlooked children trapped inside the broken foster care system in this country.

That being said, [Read more…] about Gay marriage: The protest I can’t get off the couch for.

Wide-On noun. A slang term describing female sexual interest.
Ex: I get a total wide-on every time I see Ryan Kwanten on screen.

This week’s wide-on was brought to my attention by Mrs. Coconut of The Coconut Diaries.
She suggested last week that Ryan’s character, Jason Stackhouse, on HBO’s “True Blood”, could kick Alexander Skarsgard’s ass in the masculine beauty category any day of the week. I must say in all fairness, Ryan has the most perfect ass I have seen in quite a while.

In trying to be a kinder, less tacky Cult Diva, I will not call attention to his Australian heritage by using any combination of the words “thunder” or “down under”. Having dated my way through several Australian and New Zealand rugby players in my wild youth, I must say that men from the Southern Hemisphere are amazingly endowed with many gifts that they enjoy sharing very much and very often.

God love them.

I did find a few pictures for you all to salivate over. However for the real deal, you’ll have to tune into “True Blood” to see Ryan’s character truly in his best light. As the town stud, he gets some in almost every episode, which makes me wonder if there is a Jason Stackhouse equivalent in my dull little town…hmmmm.

Have a lovely weekend,

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva

See Last Week’s Wide-On:

Alexander Skarsgard

My daughter Mary Lou (my phantom name for her) came out at age fourteen, ten years ago. I can’t say I was totally surprised after years of her tearing the heads and couture off my vintage Barbie dolls instead favoring WWF wrestlers and Ninja turtles figurines as well as her collection of Matchbox cars. She also refused to wear dresses and any shoe other than Converse high tops to the Symphony, Opera or even my wedding to Number 2 in which she was the flower girl. She was the only girl on the flag football team, the only girl playing point guard on the Church basketball team and plays a mean slide guitar. Before and since the defining moment, I’ve always been and always will be her biggest supporter. I took her to hundreds of Youth Pride meetings and marched proudly carrying my PFLAG banner at the Atlanta Gay Pride Parade. She graduated from one of the top business schools in the country Magna Cum Laude a year ago and has a fabulous job in the financial services industry. Oh and I forgot to mention she is tall, blonde and looks like a supermodel. She’s my love, my heart, and my pride and joy.

Mary Lou has had two serious relationships. Her first a wonderful Latino artist type Lola (also not her name) I still adore to this day and hate that their relationship ended so badly. Lola, I hope you and Mary Lou will connect in the future because you were so special in her finding herself as a lesbian. Her current girlfriend just graduated from a prominent Woman’s College and is heading to law school. They have been together for two years. Whether they end up together long term or not, I know that my daughter wants to live the life that all Americans long for. This means building a life with a loving partner afforded the same rights and privileges as any straight married couple. It means having children who are shown acceptance in their schools, living in neighborhoods akin to those of their straight counterparts. It means freedom from any form of discrimination against those that live the gay lifestyle.

My gay friends who are parents are devoted and nurturing to their children and live their lives indistinguishable from those of their straight neighbors. They are loyal to their mates, monogamous, devoted partners, honor and abide by the law, and are committed to making their neighborhoods and communities safer being the first to volunteer on boards and charities.

This whole idea that marriage is an institution between one man and one woman is ridiculous and antiquated considering that over 50% of traditional marriages end in divorce. Who gets to decide this? This is more an expression of prejudice than a real argument to deny gays basic human rights.

Why do I care about this for my daughter, her potential wife and my grandchildren? [Read more…] about I want my lesbian daughter’s relationship legitimized.

I was hoping to run into some reality stars while I was out in L.A., because I figure they flit around out there like fruit bats. But the only one I saw was Daniel Vosovick from the second season of Project Runway, and he was already too encrusted with suck-ass glommers for me to make it worse for him. Don’t get me wrong, I am not at all above tackling a reality TV star in public if I’m the only one subjecting him to the imposition, but I can’t jump into the fray once it’s already started. In short, I can initiate the misery, I just can’t add to it.

So I did not corner any reality stars or even contestants during my trip to L.A. for the national Book Expo last week, but I encountered something else that I have since convinced myself is #even better:# I met, I swear this is true, he was standing right in front on me – or sitting, anyway – I actually met face-to-face the psychiatrist who evaluates the mental stability of all the contestants who audition for cable-TV reality programming. And not only that, I met the nurse who administers their physical exams as well. To me this was like hitting the mother lode.

“Lord Christ on the cross!” I squealed, “I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about all the sickos who didn’t make it through the screening process!” [Read more…] about The shrink who evaluates the mental stability of reality show contestants.

Not to brag, but I actually spent quite a bit of time with this week’s “Wide On”, Alexander Skarsgard. We started our relationship with “Generation Kill” and of course have continued it with “True Blood”. Then there’s the obsessive cyber stalking, online research I do on a daily basis. I’m not crazy about the long hair, but I know it’s just a phase. He still has that long, hard everything else that makes him a delight to look at. Just sort of mentally erase those other two guys and try to look through those intrusive subtitles.

Like I care what the hell he’s saying. Move the damn words and soap south, please.

I had to throw another shirtless picture of him in, just looking at him takes me to a happier place.

Special message to Mr. Cult Diva: Please send my “Generation Kill” DVD’s back, when you are done watching them of course. I’ve been having to rent Alex by the week like a cheap whore and it’s getting tiresome when I go in and some other bitch has him.

Love and Kisses,

Cult Diva

Why?  When Phelps was caught smoking pot he said he only took one hit–and held it for three minutes.

This week Michael Phelps was awarded a gold medal for stamina by a stripper who participated in a three-way with him and a lap dancer. She claimed he was able to perform for three hours straight:

“The sex lasted for about three hours. Michael should get another Olympic gold for marathon love-making!” she told the New York Post.

Whoo hoo, you can’t be serious. There’s not enough lube in the world to make that pleasurable. Even if he divided his time between the stripper and the lap dancer, that’s still a solid 90 minutes of thrusting per vagina. At about 90 tpm’s, that’s over 8,000 thrusts per girl. Um, no. No, thank you. That right there is a myth that needs to be debunked immediately. [Read more…] about Stripper goes for the gold in a three-way with Michael Phelps

There’s a reason why condom manufacturers have a bag-it-at-50 rule:  Men don’t last long enough to warrant more.

Every study I’ve had thrusted upon me says the same thing–between 65% and 75% of men don’t last more than five minutes.

That wasn’t a typo.  FIVE MINUTES.   This, of course, is no surprise to the ladies– or the bottoms –who want their partners to enter the premature ejaculation event at the London Olympics, figuring they’ll come first.

Are we a nation of two-pump chumps?  Five-stroke blokes?  [Read more…] about Condom manufacturers only test for 50 thrusts.

Who in turn looks like a cheap drag version of Paris Hilton. And let me add a very amateur version. No real drag queen would leave the house looking like this or she would face serious ridicule.

I grew up and lived with some pretty fabulous drag queens in Atlanta. If it weren’t for drag queens and gay men I would know nothing about life, love, and the pursuit of the perfect concealer.

[Read more…] about She Spent How Much To Look Like A Drag Queen?