General

Why do so many effeminate gay men prefer in their partners the very masculinity they’ve bleached out of themselves?

The obvious answer is that they’re attracted to their opposites. But that answer only goes so far. Effeminate men may lust for their masculine counterparts but most masculine men don’t return the favor.

Effeminate men get hoisted on their own chiffon petards. The more they take on effeminate characteristics the less able they are to attract the kinds of guys they want to sleep with. This is a mating absurdity.

Imagine birds trying to attract mates with red and white plumage when the objects of their affection are attracted to yellow and green.

The mis-matched mating call of the merry marys brings up a great question: If effeminacy is counter-productive to attracting the kind of sexual partners you want, then why not butch it up? [Read more…] about Is Effeminacy in Gay Men A Function of Nature or Nurture?

From a reader: I was pretty traumatized by the news that I have hemorrhoids. It was like my ass was telling me it had had enough. The ‘rhoids’ healed but they sometimes come back. I’ve bottomed with a few guys since but I’m so worried that my hemorrhoid is going to rear its ugly head that I’m too tense to enjoy it. What do you do when you’re a bottom with a hemorrhoid?

– Dying to get laid

You need to get yourself to a doctor post-haste-red-hot-QUICK. If you don’t you’re going to end up needing ass surgery. Like me.

I waited too long to see a doctor after I developed hemorrhoids. Listen to my story and I promise you’re going to skip the phone call to the doc and teleport yourself into his office: The doctor points to the “head down, buttocks up” table and asks me to assume the position. When I heard the urethane glove snap on his hands I thought to myself, “Why couldn’t I have Attention Deficit Disorder like everyone else?”

My ‘rrhoids’ were so bad I had to go to a specialist. I almost fainted in his examination room when I saw what looked to be a 2-foot dildo with a gun-like trigger and an open vial of KY jelly. It was a sigmoidoscope. It’s inserted into your anus all the way up to your colon. Air is introduced into the scope to aid in viewing. This is the only field of work where pumping air up your ass isn’t considered a public relations ploy. [Read more…] about Does Back-Door Sex Cause Hemorrhoids?

AND NOBODY DIED.

It happened in Portugual on a show called What Is Your Talent. Audience reaction was actually positive–many giving the dancers a Standing O. The male host’s reaction can be summed up in one word: “Whoa!”

He also did some, er, self-service porn and refuses to label his sexuality. A gay dating phenom is born. Perhaps he should be known as The SituGaysian?

Here’s the story from Queerty.

You can’t meet Mr. Right (Or Mr. Right Now) if you’re riddled with a fear of rejection. Approach anxiety –the fear of starting a conversation with an attractive stranger–gets triggered by unreasonable goals. For example, telling yourself you need to go to the other side of the bar and pick up that hottie in the corner is about the most unreasonable goal you can come up with. You can’t expect to get to the top of Mt. Hottie without first setting up base camp.

That’s why you’ve got to set reasonable goals. “Meet a quality guy,” “Sleep with a hot man” or “get a husband” may be things you want, but they don’t qualify as reasonable goals. You can’t get there from where you are. You’d get better results–and faster ones–if you had goals that weren’t tied to outcomes. So here’s a stellar gay tip– From now on, your main objective is: [Read more…] about Meet Mr. Man– By Setting Reasonable Goals.

….Making the U.S. seem as advanced as a third-world country.

From NPR:

Argentina legalized same-sex marriage Thursday, becoming the first country in Latin America to give gays and lesbians all the legal rights that marriage brings to heterosexual couples.

After a marathon debate that lasted more than 16 hours, the vote was 33 in favor, 27 against and 3 abstentions in Argentina’s Senate. Since the lower house already approved the bill and President Cristina Fernandez is a strong supporter, it now becomes the law of the land.

The bill passed despite a concerted campaign by the Roman Catholic Church and evangelical groups, which drew 60,000 people to a march on Congress earlier this week. But opinion polls in Argentina show support for legalizing same-sex marriage at 70 percent.

From a reader:

Is there such a thing as too much cruising? My boyfriend and I have an open relationship. When we made the arrangement I thought it would give us a chance to spice things up a bit. Recently though, my boyfriend wakes up and spends at least an hour each morning cruising for dick. And when he finally makes it to the office, he’s frequently working his Crackberry for a nooner or an after-work hookup. Is this sex binging an addiction?

— The Price of Spice

Dear Price:
Whores and sex addicts may share the same “drug” (dick) but they have completely different experiences with it. Addicts suffer negative consequences from their behavior. Whores don’t (well, except for the occasional penicillin shot). Take the garden-variety manwhore. He’ll stop the bed hopping when sex creates problems in his non-sexual life. Addicts can’t. Tramps don’t let their sex lives jeopardize their jobs. Sex addicts do.

Having too much sex is never a problem until it becomes a problem. The fact that you wrote tells me there is one. A big one, actually. You wanted to spice things up but he went all-spice, all the time. Which any cook will tell you, ruins a good meal.

There are two issues here, the first being… [Read more…] about How many partners make a sex addict?

Bilerico.com lists where the hot go to trot. I agree with the stores, but not the order. Starbucks at #8? Puh-leeze.

#10 – Pier 1
This home interior standard has been the spot to find up twinks and the butch-challenged for years. Not only can you find gay guys easily at Pier 1, but you can pick up a scented candle for ambiance.

#9 – Borders
Nothing is as sexy as a man who knows his letters – unless he’s picking out self-help books like, “How to Cut the Apron Strings: Letting Go of Mom.” Plus, you can ask him if he’d like to grab some coffee without ever leaving the store!

#8 – Starbucks
Speaking of grabbing coffee, you’ll find plenty of gay men at the local Starbucks. The mammoth chain always has at least one queer barista per store and a baker’s dozen online at the tables. If you see the apple of your eye cruising Manhunt, invite him to munch your muffin.

To see the rest of the top ten, click here.

From a reader: I’m a 21-year-old college student who gets raging hard-ons for my new crush–this sweet, gorgeous guy who’s exactly what I’m looking for. He wants me to top him but the second the condom goes on my cock it goes limp. Does this make me a bottom? I’m getting more and more upset about it, which I’m sure only makes matters worse. Am I alone in this? Does this happen to others? What can I do to keep an erection with a condom on?

— Frustrated as hell

Dear Frustrated:
You’re not alone. I can’t think of anything that’ll give my dick a flat tire more than condoms. Well, okay, vaginas, but let’s not quibble. Here are the reasons you’re losing it and how you can get it back: