General

• Don’t text him during inappropriate times such as the middle of the night or early office hours when you know he’s in a meeting. Remember that there is a time and place for everything. Wanting a text conversation during sleeping hours is not the definition of flirty or fun. [Read more…] about How To Text A Guy You Like

from a reader: I know I’ve missed out on some great one-night stands, even relationships because the guys weren’t my physical type. I’ve tried but I just can’t get into smooth guys. It feels like I’m screwing a salmon. I’m always thinking, “Go easy on the lube, otherwise he’s going to pop through my fingers and land on the other side of the room!” The other night I met the perfect guy—great looks, warmth of a furnace, but there wasn’t any hair on his legs so I made some excuse and practically fled the place. I’m feeling shallow and guilty about turning down guys just because they don’t have the exact physical look that I like. How do I deal with this?

– Rough edges

Dear Rough Edges:
Don’t confuse shallowness with preference. Are you shallow because you prefer tall guys? Athletic guys? Or guys who know the difference between its and it’s?

Not only have you developed misguided guilt, you’ve also managed to develop a scarcity mentality while sitting in front of the biggest Man-Buffet ever seen. Dude, are you blind? Most guys are hairy! And half the smooth ones are faking it. They’d probably latch on to you just to cut their waxing bills.

As far as your guilt, it’s caused by letting a physical characteristic rob you of an emotional connection. That, and the hurt you see in the other guys’ eyes when you reject them. Outside of letting them down easy, you can’t do much about the other guy’s hurt, but you can do something about broadening your body-type preferences. Notice I didn’t say, “CHANGE” your preference because that’s impossible. But it is possible to expand your “body bandwidth.” Here’s how: [Read more…] about How To Get Yourself To Like A Guy With No Body Hair

Technology is carving into gay life as if it were marble, chiseling an exit path out of America’s closets.

Like civilization, “coming out” can now be split into two epochs: B.C. (Before Cyberspace) and A.C. (After Cyberspace).

Coming out B.C. meant taking huge emotional and physical risks. Remember your first gay club? How could you ever forget the walk from the car to the bar? Anxiety hath no fury like a closeted walk to the disco ball.

But coming out A.C. changes everything. The web doesn’t just allow you to find someone to go to the bar with, it gives you the freedom to skip the bar altogether. The web is changing the status of gay bars as a rite of passage. What started out as a loaded symbol of sexuality is turning into an ordinary place to get loaded.

Unlike bars, sites like Gay.com and Manhunt.net aren’t just about finding other gay people; [Read more…] about Technology Creates More Gay People

Dear Tainted:
I’d rather hear that you’ve stopped plugging every opening you walked by because it’s no longer fulfilling, not because you’re scared of what people will think. If you’re serious about taming that Access of Evil between your legs, you’ve got a few options, but before we go into that, allow me a rant:

The whole notion that you have to worry about your ‘reputation’ sounds like the church got together with farmers to produce Grade A Bullshit. You’re SUPPOSED to be slutty when you come out. Your underwear is SUPPOSED to fly off at the thought of mangina. Your heels are SUPPOSED to fill with helium at the sight of a hottie. So what if you speak eight languages and you can’t say ‘no’ in any of them? [Read more…] about When That Access of Evil Between Your Pants Gets You In Trouble It’s Time For Slut Rehab

From The Guardian: Alexander the Great’s bare bottom is keeping a highly-praised debut novel off shelves in Canada.

Annabel Lyon’s The Golden Mean is the story of Alexander’s childhood, told through the eyes of his tutor Aristotle. Praised as “a triumph of erudition and story-telling” by The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas author John Boyne and shortlisted for Canada’s top literary award, the Giller prize, it was published last year in Canada and is just out in the UK where the Financial Times has admired its “eerie earthiness”.

But apparently its jacket – featuring a naked man lying on the back of an equally naked white horse – is offensive to some. Although stores across Canada and the UK are selling the book, Lyons revealed on her blog that British Columbia ferry company BC Ferries is not stocking it “since the trade paperback still features a bare bum on the cover”.

From a reader: I live in Sydney and met a hot Italian guy during Mardi Gras. It’s been incredibly passionate with lots of talk of what will happen between us when he moves here permanently next year. Then, at the last party of the festival I found him giving his number to some guy. When I challenged him on it, he said he was just trying to make friends for when he eventually settles here. Things deteriorated after one of my mates said my Italiano boy was flirting with him. So, I gave Mr. Sicily a choice: I’m either just a holiday shag – in which case, no hard feelings and good luck – or is it more? He insists it’s more and wants to be boyfriends. Do I cut and run or give him the benefit of the doubt?

–Confused Downunder

Dear Confused:
Does the sun shine so brightly in Australia that you can’t see what’s going on three feet in front of you? I don’t know who’s worse—him for being such an asshole or you for being such a blind one. If you caught him in bed with another guy—and you will—by bet is he’d say, “Who are you going to believe, ME or YOUR LYING EYES!!”

And you’re so blind I bet the first thing out of your mouth would be, “Honey, that better be me you’re fucking or we’re through!” Welcome to the Isle of Denial. Population: You. It’s a wonderful place to live except that you can’t hear reality knocking on the door and yelling, “Let me in, I’m a fact!” And the fact is, he’s a [Read more…] about Should You Give Your Player Boyfriend Another Chance?

Like it or not, the gay dating world is filled, or rather shorn, of a lot of hair. Here are the options and their cruel consequences:

Laser Removal
What it is: Laser light grabs the hair follicle, says, “Luke, I am your father” and kills the hair root. It doesn’t kill the follicle, though, so hair can still grow back. Maybe it should say, “Luke, I did your Father” and it would work better.

How long it’ll take: About half an hour per session. Like the Star Wars movies, it’ll take about 8 sequels to get the job done.

Where you should aim it: At your boss. But if you need the job, your chest, back, stomach and genitals.
The hit: About $450 per treatment.
Duration: It’s the most permanent of your options, but touch-ups are the rule.

Waxing
What it is: Torture. They put strips of cloth over the wax and then RIP the fucker off. The new waxes aren’t supposed to be as painful as the old waxes, but that’s like saying getting stabbed by a dull knife doesn’t hurt as much as a sharp one. Technically true, but…

How long it’ll take: Ten minutes to an hour.

Where you should aim it: Unibrows, hair on the ears and neck, legs, underarms, and arms. Gay advice: Do NOT use it on your genitals unless you’re an extra on the next sequel to The Hills Have Eyes and need the screaming practice.

The hit: About $50-70 a session

Duration: About 4 to 6 weeks.
[Read more…] about Scream-Free Hair Removal Options For Men.

From a reader: My boyfriend of only a few weeks has expressed interest in threesomes since Day One. Its not like he comes out and says it, but its obvious he’s curious about it. I’ve expressed my dislike but I don’t want to push him away. My problem with the three-way thing is the “third wheel” phenomenon where someone almost always ends up feeling like they’re not part of the bicycle. How do I talk to my boyfriend about my concerns without scaring him off?

–Third wheel fears.

Dear Third Wheel:
Math problems tend to illuminate most relationship problems, so do a quick one for me. You’re driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get in. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. Now what was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Think hard.

Answer: You, you idiot.

My point, and I do have one, is that [Read more…] about Your Boyfriend Wants A Three-Way. You Don’t. What Now?