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General

January 18, 2012

How To Get HIV Meds

Question:
Like your last writer (“Feeling Helpless”), I, too, am HIV, at a lower-income level and have had many doors shut in my face when trying to get help with medication payments and co pays.  I have applied to, and participated in, many pharmaceutical and/or hospital-based research studies in order to obtain the life-saving medications that I needed.  I was faithful to the dosing requirements and never missed an appointment with the doctor.  But, when the study was complete, so was my usefulness to the pharmaceutical company.  Once they’re done with the study they’re done with you.  It’s “no more meds and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

I can’t begin to count how many HIV+ people I know who were denied drug assistance from AIDS services organizations (ASO) because their income was literally as little as a few dollars over the cutoff for financial aid.  Even if you are on disability, or working at a job that pays minimum wages but provides no health coverage, you may still not qualify for assistance in obtaining your necessary medications because, according to the government (city, county, state or federal — take your pick), you are seen as gainfully employed or with adequate income.  However, disability often puts you at a fixed income level for life and the minimum wage is not enough to live on.  What are you supposed to do when the apartment you rented 4 years ago for $525.00 a month is now renting for $750.00 per month?

While your suspicions that  “Feeling Helpless” couldn’t get help because he didn’t provide proper documentation may be accurate, please remember that thousands of HIV+ men, women and children are denied assistance every day in this country because of corporate politics, outmoded financial requirements and critical funding shortages.  “Feeling Helpless” may fall into that group of pozzies.

—  Been there myself

Dear Been There:
Thank you for showing my readers just how ‘manageable’ that “manageable condition” can be.

You’re right about all the obstacles people face in getting meds but wrong about who you’re blaming.  When it comes to who gets help and who doesn’t, AIDS Service organizations (ASOs) don’t make the rules; they follow them.  The rule-makers are the state and federal governments.

Example:  [Read more…] about How To Get HIV Meds

Category iconGeneral

January 12, 2012

How Boyfriends Get Away With Cheating Through Manhunt And GrindR

Question!
Every time I go to an online cruising site I end up seeing profiles of friends or acquaintances that are supposedly in monogamous relationships. It’s one thing to put a profile online if you’re in an open relationship but a lot of these guys *claim* they’re monogamous. Aside from the hypocrisy and immorality of it all, the thing that baffles me is how these guys get away with it. Are their boyfriends that stupid?

— Online Onlooker

 

Dear Onlooker:
Well, they’re either that stupid or the cheating boyfriends are that cunning. I’m a smart guy and I’ve been hoodwinked once or twice by a stud or two. I swear, this one guy, he was such a cheatin’ man, when I kissed him I had to count my teeth.

Today’s technology gives Men Behaving Badly a new way to misbehave. With GrindR and Manhunt’s mobile service, boyfriends can REALLY stray under the radar.

Technology always has a good side/bad side aspect to it. The Good: Single guys don’t have to be chained to their computer to meet guys online. The Bad: Married guys don’t have to be, either.

Category iconGeneral

January 5, 2012

How To Bottom Without Pain Or Stains Hits Kindle’s Top 10!

My latest book, How To Bottom Without Pain Or Stains landed on Kindle’s Top 10 Sex eBooks.  Chelsea Handler is #1 with her sex memoir.  Watch out, Chelsea, I’m coming up behind you!

 

You can check it out here if you have a Kindle.

And here if you want to download it as a PDF directly off your mac or PC: How To Bottom.

 

 

 

Category iconGeneral

December 23, 2011

How To Get A Trick To Cuddle

Q:

This boorish trick came by on a Sunday afternoon.  What a clod.  He was dressed and headed for the door before the cum had even begun to coagulate on the sheets.  I mean, hold me for God’s sakes!  He was up and standing right away, and I’m like, please, relax on the bed, let me get you a warm towel, you know?  And besides, you’re dripping on the hardwoods.   So my question is, how do you get a trick to just stay put long enough to have some post-coital snuggling?  I don’t want to marry the guy, I just want to be held and do some playful touching.

—     Touch & Go

Dear Touch:
I’m right there with you, babe.  There’s something so delicious about holding a man after sex, to feel smothered by his body as your mind gently drifts and your body descends into a blissful peace and calm.  There’s nothing worse than a guy who comes and goes.

[Read more…] about How To Get A Trick To Cuddle

Category iconGeneral

December 19, 2011

The Gay Sex Quiz

There’s no such thing as a Sexual IQ test, so naturally I made one up.  Hey, like I’ve always said, “If you see a hole, fill it.”  So are you an ignorant slut, a knowledgeable prude or something in between?  Take the test and find out:

What is considered the “Male G-spot?”

a.    the prostate
b.    the frenulum
c.    The wallet

Where is the “Male G-spot?”

a.    A couple of inches inside the anus towards the navel
b.    A couple of inches inside the urethra towards the bladder
c.    A couple of inches inside the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog towards the underwear section

The main source of a man’s orgasmic pleasure is:

a.    pelvic floor muscle contractions
b.    release of semen
c.    Access to your boyfriend’s AMEX card

[Read more…] about The Gay Sex Quiz

Category iconGeneral

December 10, 2011

The Funniest Line Anyone’s Ever Cracked Online.

I was on the men seeking men website, Adam4Adam.  I get a terse email:  “Did you take a sh*t yet?”

 

Confused, I clicked on his profile and the only picture there was of a humongous, erect, d*ck.  It took me a second, and then I just laughed and laughed!

Category iconGeneral

December 3, 2011

The Average Size Of A Flaccid Penis

Q:

Every time I shower at the gym I obsess about the size of my dick.  Can you give me a little reassurance? 

 

—  Size me up

 

 

Dear Size Me:

You ain’t the only one worried.  Concentrate on facts and it’ll ease your anxiety.  In a recent study published in Urology, researchers found a significant decrease in penis size anxiety when men where told the average size of a flaccid penis and then given a cloth ruler to measure themselves.

 

They were told by the scientists that a flaccid penis is normally at least 1.6 inches long, or 2.7 inches when stretched.

 

After the sex education and measurement, 86% of the men said their concerns had been relieved.  So, go.  Get a ruler and relieve yourself.

 

Category iconGeneral

November 29, 2011

How To End Sexual Stalemates

Q:

My boyfriend and I are at sexual stalemate.  I admit we’ve got lots of emotional issues we’ve got to work out but there’s gotta be something we can do sexually to, uhm, break the log jam.  Here’s the problem:  We’ve started sexually bartering our services and it’s descended into an “I won’t do it if you won’t” or “I’ll do it if you do it first.”  So if I want my God-given right to some good head, he’ll say, “fine, blow me first then we’ll see.”  How do we get past this?

 

—  Want treats not tricks

 

Dear Treats:

This reminds me of that great marriage-counseling story.  A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counselor, who in an attempt to find some common ground said, “Tell me about anything the two of you have in common.”

The husband spoke up and said, “Well, neither one of us sucks dicks.” [Read more…] about How To End Sexual Stalemates

Category iconGeneral

November 23, 2011

The Best Sex Joke Of The Year

QUESTION:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your column “A Small Matter of Large Size”.  I’m so relieved to know that there are nonsuperficial, nonpenis obsessed, gay men out there.  I’m 37 y/o and like you, I have friends that make me feel as if I’m in a perpetual junior high school because all they can talk about is cock size.  I’m 6’3″ 205lbs, so I’m a pretty big guy but not well endowed.  This superficial culture makes me feel as if I have to apologize for being small.  I also have friends that their first question is, “how hung is he?”  Like you, I refuse to answer.  I just feel I cheapen my experience—and the guy—if I answer.  You’ve helped me realize that the truly good guys who are sincere and worth being with don’t care about the size of your penis but the size of your heart.

 

—  Grateful

 

 

Dear Grateful:

I can’t believe you bought that load of shit.  I was drunk when I wrote that column!

 

I kid.  You brought out some great points.  I do, however, believe that you can’t be *too* sanctimonious about this issue.  Hence, my favorite joke about the size of the prize:

[Read more…] about The Best Sex Joke Of The Year

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