How The Bristol Stool Scale Can Help You Be A Better Bottom

 

Anyone who bottoms is concerned with cleanliness. Often it becomes an obsession that might stop you from doing the deed. One way to reassure yourself is to look at what is coming out of you to see if there is anything to worry about.

Enter the Bristol stool scale . With one look you can start seeing the health of your droppings and give you a better sense of whether you should, er, proceed with the proceedings.

The Bristol stool scale is a medical tool used to classify the form of human feces into seven categories. It is used in both clinical and experimental fields to help assess the effectiveness of treatments for various diseases of the bowel, as well as to aid in diagnosis.

The Bristol Stool Scale is a tool that was developed in 1997 to help assess and evaluate treatments for various bowel diseases. It is widely used by researchers to study the effectiveness of different treatments, and is also useful as a communication aid between clinicians and patients. The scale is particularly helpful in diagnosing irritable bowel syndrome.

There are seven types of stool, each with their own consistency and texture. Type 1 is very hard and difficult to pass, while type 7 is entirely liquid and watery. In between these two extremes are types 2-6, which range from being sausage-shaped to having ragged edges. The average stool would fall under type 4.

The seven types of stool are:

Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts (difficult to pass)
Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy
Type 3: Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface
Type 4: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft (average stool)
Type 5: Soft blobs with clear cut edges
Type 6: Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool (diarrhoea)
Type 7: Watery, no solid pieces, entirely liquid (diarrhoea)

In the original study that this scale was based on, it was found that female subjects were more likely to have type 1 or 2 stools, while male subjects were more likely to have type 5 or 6 stools. Additionally, 80% of subjects who reported feeling like they had not fully emptied their bowels after defecation had type 7 stools. This and other data has shown that the scale is accurate.

The Bristol stool scale is a measure of the changes in intestinal transit time caused by medications, such as antidiarrheal loperamide, senna, or anthraquinone with laxative effect. The scale is used to study the response to two laxatives: Macrogol (polyethylene glycol) and psyllium (Plantago psyllium and other species of the same genus). The study showed that Macrogol was more effective than psyllium in reducing the number of bowel movements, stool consistency, and time to defecation. Psyllium was also associated with more difficulty in defecating and less consistent stool consistency.

Studies have found that the Bristol Stool Scale can be a useful tool for diagnosing and treating a variety of conditions, such as probiotics, moxibustion, laxatives in the elderly, and preparing Ayurvedic poly-phytotherapy. The scale can also be used to assess the response to physical activity in athletes.

The Bristol Stool Scale is a tool that was first proposed in England by Stephen Lewis and Ken Heaton. It is used to assess a person’s bowel movement patterns and transit time. This scale has been challenged by some as being limited in validity, but it continues to be used as a research tool to evaluate the effectiveness of treatments for various diseases of the bowel, as well as a clinical communication aid.

How To Have Gay Sex With A No Pain Contract

Getting ready to bottom means using fingers, sex toys, and of course, penises to stretch your sphincter. By signing my NO PAIN CONTRACT you promise to never, EVER go past your comfort threshold with these sphincter-stretching exercises or the lovers you go home with.

Not even a little bit. The terms are simple: No Pain, No Way, No How, Not Ever.

Signing my NO PAIN CONTRACT will help you go on a voyage you might otherwise not take. It’s your word to yourself that it will be a safe, enjoyable journey, not some painful slog requiring an upgrade to your health insurance.

The great part of my NO PAIN CONTRACT is that it comes with a money-back guarantee. Violate any of the terms and you’re obligated to pay me the equivalent of the digital edition price of this book—$9.99 USD.

Hey, I said there was a money-back guarantee!

Oh, it gets better. By signing the contract you also agree to pay me $9.99 each time you violate the terms of the contract. It’s a memorable way to keep you honest and operate on the principle that pain is a choice.

Ready to sign?

(Holds up pen)

NO PAIN CONTRACT

This is an agreement between Me, Myself, and I (hereafter referred to as “Moi”).

“Moi” agrees to approach anal sex with a commitment to NO PAIN.

This applies to all insertable objects, including fingers, sex toys, cucumbers, lightbulbs and other idiocies horny men tend to think are good ideas at the moment.

Oh, and penises. Especially penises.

“Moi” agrees to never push himself past discomfort into pain, even if he’s in bed with a guy so hot wilted flowers stand at attention when he walks by.

“Moi” agrees to pain only under the following circumstances: NEVER.

If “Moi” violates the terms of this contract he agrees to pay the author of How To Bottom Like A Porn Star the retail cost of the book’s digital edition–$9.99.

 

_________________________
Signature

Have A Pre-Coital Cigarette

Ahhh, now that you’ve signed the contract, doesn’t it feel like the weight of a huge penis has been lifted off your shoulders?

You have contractually obligated yourself to anal sex with NO PAIN. You have now replaced the expectation of pain with the expectation of NO PAIN.  You have now replaced a formula that makes no sense (no pain=no gain) with one that does (no pain= gain).

 

How To Bottom: The Best Positions & Angles of Entry Part 2

There is only one thing that will straighten your S-curve:  The position of your legs in relation to your torso.  The closer your legs are to your torso, the more your S-curve will straighten.  

The S-curve is at its straightest when your knees are pulled up close to your body. Any position that creates at least a 90-degree angle—like squatting — will dramatically straighten your S-curve. No position will completely straighten it, though, so you will have to make adjustments.

The puborectal sling that causes the S-curve varies from person to person.  Some slings are exceedingly relaxed and rest loosely around the rectum, so they straighten easily and make the “rectal wall” completely disappear.  

This is why some guys can bottom for Thanos without raising an eyebrow.

Some slings are exceedingly tense, rest tightly around the rectum, and do not straighten easily, keeping the “rectal wall” up.  

This is why some guys couldn’t bottom for a gnat with erectile dysfunction. 

Some slings have different shapes and lay in slightly different locations. Thus, it’s almost impossible to say which position will best straighten the sling’s S-curve for you. It’s strictly a function of your anatomy. The only way you’re going to find out is to try different positions. 

Know Your Sling

Let’s get a better understanding of your S-sling by hauling out the lube and exploring your man cave.  Start on your back with your legs spread, knees straight, back of the ankles touching the bed. Draw a lubed-up butt plug the way I showed you in the earlier exercises.  Go straight in (gently, like Winnie The Pooh, not Vlad The Impaler!). Notice you hit the wall caused by the S curve?  Ouch!

Now, do the exercise again but this time start with your knees bent, soles of your feet on the bed. Depending on the curve caused by your S sling you may feel a little or a lot of “the wall.”

Now, do the exercise again but this time start with your knees around your ears (or as close as you can). Most guys will feel very little of the wall.

Finally, do the same exercise in the shower. Squat down to the ground and draw your finger in.  

Wall?  What wall?

Exactly.  It disappears. This brings us to…

The Best Position For Pain-Free Bottoming

You saw how standing, sitting, and squatting affect the puborectal sling and the “curviness” of the S-curve. Now, let’s put on some imaginary x-ray glasses and see what an erect penis would look like inside a rectum using variations of the missionary position.

As you can see in your imagination, the penis hits the rectal wall at almost ninety degrees. It will be painful for both partners.  Let’s try a different position. What if the bottom partner raised his knees?  

The S-curve is significantly straightened, decreasing the severity of the rectal wall.  Penetration is doable but you would still experience a fair amount of initial pain. Now, what would happen if the bottom partner pulled his knees toward his chest?                         

The penis does not encounter a rectal wall (or very little of it). Clearly, the squatting position–whether you do it on your back or with the weight on your feet–straightens out the S-curve better than any single position.  

Squatting with the weight on your feet is more effective than mimicking it on your back because you can spread your legs farther and your hands are free to control the action. 

When Mario is on his back with you squatting on top of him, he becomes more passive, preventing him from entering forcefully. This allows you to guide the penis in on your terms.  Once that’s done it doesn’t take much to roll over with the penis inside you to get in different positions.  

The Problem With Squatting

Of course, there are some disadvantages to squatting. There’s a certain awkwardness associated with bottoming for the first time (as there is for anything) and squatting exacerbates them.

First, it opens up your body to visual inspection in ways that being underneath your partner does not. That’s not a problem if your abs can cut tomatoes and you want your partner to see every inch of you. But if you’re so skinny you could blindfold yourself with dental floss or if you’ve packed enough pounds that restaurants hand you estimates instead of menus, squatting might make you feel exposed and vulnerable.

Squatting also increases a sense of separation because you can’t kiss and your torsos, especially the heart areas, aren’t touching. Some guys need to feel the heat of their partner’s body to feel more secure.    

And finally, it’s hard to feel “taken” or submissive when you’re on top of the dominant.  Squatting will absolutely make bottoming easier but it has more baggage than Terminal B at LAX, so it’s probably not the very first position you should try.

The Best Angle Of Entry

What angle should your partner’s penis enter you?  Straight in? Pointing up? Down? Dyed, fried and laid to the side? 

There is one—and only one— angle the penis should go in and it doesn’t matter what position you’re in or how much you’ve straightened your S-curve:

About 45 degrees away from your navel.

Why? Because it prevents the penis from hitting the front of your rectal wall, near the navel, where your prostate sits. 

Unless you guide the head of the penis away from the navel it will hit your prostate, an incredibly sensitive organ. You can’t angle his dick too much the other way because then it’ll hit the back of the rectal wall.

Remember your finger poking your left palm at ninety degrees?  When you moved the back of your left palm toward the floor by 45 degrees it straightened the S-curve, making it easier to proceed, albeit with some friction.

But when you raised the angle of your right finger by 45 degrees?  Magic!  It slid along the “rectal wall” of your palm easily and without resistance.  If you want to understand how this works for real, get in the shower with a lubed up finger.  

Squat and insert your finger toward your navel.  

Doesn’t feel so good, does it?  You’re hitting the prostate which sits just on the other side of the front rectal wall, near your navel.  

Now insert your finger away from your navel.  

Doesn’t feel so good, does it?  You’re hitting the back of the rectal wall.

Now this time insert your finger away from your navel by about 45 degrees.  Notice you didn’t feel a stabbing sensation? Nothing hurt. That’s because your finger went in through the “hallway” between the front and back rectal walls.

Pain-free penetration is a matter of degrees.  Not too far up, not too far down. Think of it as the Goldilocks version of fucking: Not too high, not too low, just right.

This knowledge is going to be rocket fuel for your love life. Mario is jumping up and down with joy and Prince Prostate is gushing at the thought of producing more milk than a dairy farmer.

Everybody’s happy except King Virgin, last seen requesting flood assistance from FEMA because he knows it’s going to be raining men.

How To Bottom: Best Positions & Angles Of Entry

Think of anal sex as a gay Super Mario Brothers video game. The guy who’s topping you, a plumber named Mario, arrives in an outlandish realm (your ass) to battle King Virgin and rescue the milky white Prince Prostate.

The king has set two main traps to keep Mario from massaging Prince Prostate and letting his waters run dry.  The first is the Giant Gate we just talked about—made up of internal and external sphincters, which protect the prince with the force of a squeeze-cement job.

In the last chapter, we figured out how to trick the sphincter into releasing its hold and voila, the Giant Gate swung open, allowing Mario, and later his brother Luigi and depending on your inclinations, everyone in Topland, access to the Prince’s fruited plain.

But immediately upon entering, Mario slams into a second trap that seems to come out of nowhere—a wall.  This wall, knocks Mario on his ass and causes all the minions in the pubo-rectal kingdom to cry out in pain.

Mario doesn’t have many choices.  Sure, he could try to force himself through the wall, but he wants to pleasure Prince Prostate, not put him in traction.

He certainly can’t dig under or jump over the wall because the attempt itself would put the Prince in the ICU.

What can Mario do?

Make The Wall Disappear

Mario doesn’t need to go under, over or through it. He just needs you to make the wall go away. Let me explain.

Most of us think the plumbing in our ass goes down a straight line like the garbage shoot in an apartment complex.  But it actually curves in two places.  The first curve occurs almost immediately upon entering the sphincter (causing that wall Mario’s penis keeps slamming into). 

As you learned in Chapter Three, this curve is caused by the puborectal sling, a strong, supportive muscle that wraps around the rectum.  The curve creates a “rectal wall” that stops the penis from entering.  Here take a look:

As you can see, the puborectal sling acts like a rope holding back a stage curtain.  When the rope is released, the curtain straightens out and the “rectal wall” disappears, giving your partner unfettered access to the goods within. 

So how do you make that “rectal wall” disappear? 

Do this:  hold your left hand up as if you’re shaking hands.  This is your rectal wall.  Now take your right index finger and poke the middle of the palm at ninety degrees.  This is the penis stabbing the rectal wall. The pain will know you into the middle of next week.

Now, angle your palm (back of the hand turning toward the floor) 45 degrees and poke again.  Better, but it still hurts, right?  Now, raise the tip of your right finger up by approximately 45 degrees and poke. 

Ahh, feels nice, right?  Notice the finger slides up the “rectal wall” rather than poking and jabbing at it. Imagine it with lube.  Magic!

In this example, you are not stabbing the rectal wall because you “straightened out the S curve” (your palm) and adjusted the penis’ angle of entry (your index finger). The wall “disappears” allowing Mario to screw Prince Prostate like he owes him money.

Now, how do we take what we just learned with our palm and index finger and apply it to anal sex?  Stay tuned for next week’s installment.

 

Resources

WHY WE LOVE DICK

 

If there’s one thing the alphabet mafia (LGBTQ) can agree on is our love for the stick.  Even lesbians.  Comic Leah Delaria once said, “Lesbians love dick. They just don’t like them hanging from men!” 

We were entranced by a section in How To Bottom Like A Porn Star that waxed rhapsodic about our love for dick, and we present the excerpt here:

 

A Hard Dick Is A Powerful Symbol of Something You Love: Masculinity

Generally speaking, gay men are attracted to maleness, strength, and virility and nothing personifies these traits more than the erect cock. It’s strong, it’s hard and it commands you to surrender. It is not just the staff of life but the stuff of dreams. Wet dreams. It epitomizes almost every aspect of masculinity: It’s big, thick, hard, strong, muscled, driven, and, it must be said, without conscience.

 

If you like a man for being a man, then it’s only natural to crave the symbol of his manhood. When you hold your partner’s erect penis you should (hopefully) be in awe of its strength and want to feel its masculine power in every part of your body. 

 

A Hard Dick Is Proof You’re Desirable

Knowing you can turn your partner on (look at that erection!) is the ultimate sexual compliment; a  statement of your desirability. His erection is not only about you, it’s for you. It’s a sexualized electrical current with a feedback loop—he gets excited so you get excited. He sees your excitement and gets more excited. And soon you’re both sucked into a vortex of desire.

 

A Hard Dick Is Proof You’re Powerful

You have power over anybody you give an erection to.  After all, that hard-on is a response to your presence. YOU are eliciting this response. I don’t know of a more convincing display of power than to completely own a man’s attention, to change his physical, emotional, and psychological state. You got him hard? You have him right where you want him. Well done!

 

A Hard Dick Gives You The Chance To Submit

It is thrilling to yield to the power of a hard cock, to lose yourself in the adoration of the force, might, and power of his hardness. It is exhilarating to feel “owned” by his masculinity. Of showing reverence to Strength.

 

Submission means that by bending your will to the authority vested in his cock you can experience a form of therapeutic escape, of safety, protection. By glorifying strength you can disappear into the unavoidable nothingness that comes from relinquishing all power. In this scenario, your butt is a spiritual offering, a way to exalt his command of you.

 

Anal sex is a chance to willingly succumb to his cock— to give yourself over to it, mentally, physically, and spiritually. His cock is your Sun and you orbit around it. 

 

Damn. Anybody else feel like a biscuit that just got buttered? Whew!

 

A Hard Dick Gives You The Chance To Dominate

Paradoxically, bottoming—the ultimate in surrendering your body to another’s pleasure—is a vehicle to exert dominance. First, you control him with your ability to give him a hard-on.  Then, you decide how he’s going to feel by what you do with your butt. Then, you control how he is going to react when you let him do the things he wants to. YOU will be responsible for him having the most sensational, meaningful experience possible.

 

A Hard Dick Gives You The Chance To Simultaneously Submit & Dominate 

Anal sex can give you radically different experiences of power at the same moment.  Receiving a thick, hard dick can make you feel both powerful and powerless. On the one hand, you gave Mario a hard-on (a sign of power) but on the other hand that hard-on is going to penetrate you (submission). The Ying and Yang create a delicious  Badda Bing Badda Bang.

 

A Hard Dick Gives You The Pleasure Of Giving Pleasure

The pleasure of giving sits side by side with the pleasure of taking. Like Frieda Kahlo’s eyebrows, they cannot be separated. 

A Hard Dick Brings You Emotionally Closer

While there are indeed physical pleasures to extract from anal sex (intense orgasms, for one), the deepest treasures are in the psychological highs they unlock. Here, the forbidden nature of anal sex can be re-appropriated for erotic effect, as nothing fuels hedonism like a little naughtiness.

 

Both you and your man are at your most vulnerable at the onset of anal sex. For example, you may feel emotionally at risk as you prepare to have his penis inserted into your body. 

 

Mario might feel emotionally at risk as he prepares to “know” you in a kind of intimacy he may not be prepared for.  This shared vulnerability increases the potential for connection by easing each other into comfort, rather than withdrawing into separate insecurities.

How Porn Stars Bottom Without Pain

A couple of years ago, researchers in England wanted to know how porn affected men’s sex lives. The goal was to compare users with a control group of non-users, but the study was scrapped.

They couldn’t find a single man who hadn’t seen porn!

“We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography,” Professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse told a British newspaper. “We couldn’t find any.”

A few years ago a gay men’s health charity surveyed the gay population about where they got information on anal sex. A whopping 41% of gay men said porn.

Obviously, gay porn has a huge influence on how we approach intercourse. Some of the lessons it offers are good but some are atrocious. Like this one: You don’t have to prepare, train, or have a strategy to bottom for a guy who’s hung like the Florida panhandle. You just look at the camera, smile, and, in pizza terms, get pounded into dough and tossed up high.

So you try the same approach in real life, even with an average-sized guy, and you end up howling with so much pain the neighbors think you’re rehearsing a werewolf movie. Clearly, porn is great to look at but not learn from.

How Porn Stars Prepare For The Impaling

I commissioned a survey on some of the biggest luminaries in the business to find out how bottom scenes are filmed. Respondents included porn stars, producers, directors, and line staff—the lighting technicians, camera operators, and sound engineers responsible for half the orgasms in gay culture.

With signed disclosure forms promising anonymity, we got some eye-popping intel that will forever slant your view of porn. Let’s draw back the curtain on the industry and see how the sausage is made behind the scenes.

Preparing Before The Shoot

Porn performers don’t spread their legs for bread without a lot of preparation. The most obvious priority is getting the anal canal cleaned out because hey, gravy is only good on mashed potatoes.

It Starts With The Right Diet

Performers start eating a high-fiber, low carb diet about two or three days before filming. There are lots of fruits and vegetables, with plenty of juices and water (you’re getting ready to spend several hours under blazing hot spotlights, so it’s important to be hydrated).

Chicken and fish are preferred proteins because white meat is digested faster and more thoroughly than red meat. Some performers avoid pork to decrease the likelihood of “bacon bits” making a cameo appearance.

Plug That Hole!

Prior to a shoot, usually the evening before or morning of, many performers insert a dildo or butt plug to stretch their sphincters.

The morning of the shoot should start with a good bowel movement.  Many performers have their superstitions for a thorough clean-out: for some it’s a cigarette (!), for others it’s a large coffee or smoothie.

Till The Waters Run Clear

After the morning dump, it’s time to start douching (although some men start this process the night before, especially if they’re prepping for a gang bang scene).

They douche early and often.  They do not to stop at the first sight of clear liquid coming out of their bum. They do it until they can practically gargle with their butt spit. “I want my ass so clean viewers can see their reflection on it,” said one high-profile porn star.

Resources

 

How To Be A Better Bottom Part 3

WHAT IF YOU HAVE STOMACH PROBLEMS?

A lot of gay men have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) which can make their rectums dirtier than a port authority toilet seat. As I said on the highly entertaining Adam Sank podcast, almost all fiber supplements will help IBS, but you might want to try the ones specially formulated for it.

Fiber Supplements Specifically Designed For IBS

Calcium polycarbophil has been proven to regulate diarrhea, constipation, bloating, and abdominal pain in patients suffering from IBS. Choose from the following brands and work up slowly from one gram a day to six: Fibercon, Konsyl, Fiber-tab, Fiber-Lax, or Equalactin.

Even if you don’t have IBS you might consider using calcium polycarbophil, a synthetic form of fiber rather than psyllium, which is naturally occurring. You’d think the natural stuff would be better for you but calcium polycarbophil runs less of a risk of interacting with gut bacteria and producing unwanted gas.

Eat Or Take Prebiotics

A prebiotic is essentially food for probiotics (the “good bacteria” in your gut), which promote digestive health. The one that has the most science behind it is Inulin. Because it’s not digested or absorbed in the stomach it settles in the bowels where the “good” bacteria (probiotics) feed on it, thus improving bowel function (inulin is a natural compound found in a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, and herbs).

Brands with inulin include Metamucil Clear & Natural, Fiber-Choice, and Benefiber. Take as directed. Inulin stays in your gut and helps the “good” intestinal bacteria grow. You might want to consider taking psyllium along with inulin. Some studies show great promise in using both substances to help treat IBS.

Eat But Don’t Take Probiotics

Are you taking probiotic supplements? Throw them out. Thinking about taking them? Don’t. Right before the publication of this book the American Gastroenterological Association released a meta-analysis of all probiotic supplements and concluded they don’t work.

“For the majority of the digestive diseases we studied, currently there is not enough evidence to recommend using probiotics,” a spokesperson for the association told CNN.

He went on to say, “The supplements can be costly and there isn’t enough evidence to prove a benefit or confirm lack of harm.”

Probiotics are “good” bacteria that reduce the growth of harmful bacteria and promote a healthy digestive system. Scientists know they’re good for the overall health of your digestive tract but taking probiotics as supplements don’t work.

One study in Israel may have revealed why. They performed endoscopies and colonoscopies on volunteers who swallowed brand-name supplements. The supplements never populated the gut biome in half of the volunteers! They just went right out of the body without settling into the gut.

This tracks closely with what scientists have known for a while about vitamins and supplements–what your body needs is best taken through naturally-occurring food, not capsules.

Eat Foods High In Probiotics

Forget store-bought yogurt. Yes, they have probiotics, but many are not naturally-occurring and even in the brands that are, there isn’t enough of it to make a difference. Experts consider a therapeutic dose of probiotics to be at least 5 billion CFUs. Yogurt has 1 billion.

Instead, try fermented foods like sauerkraut, pickles, or kimchi. According to Dr. Joseph Mercola, a famous alternative medicine physician, just two ounces of sauerkraut has more probiotics than an entire bottle of 100 probiotic capsules.

Dr. Mercola had a sample of his own homemade sauerkraut tested in a lab for probiotics and the results were astonishing. He found in a 4-6 ounce serving of the fermented vegetables there were literally ten trillion bacteria.”

One important thing to note is that Mercola made the sauerkraut himself with a fermentation kit. You can get nearly the same effect in store-bought sauerkraut, as long as it’s unpasteurized and contains no vinegar.

 

Resources

How To Be A Better Bottom Part 2

KEEPING YOUR TOP HARD

What gives gay men situational impotence? These are their typical fears when it comes to topping:

•  I won’t get hard enough
•  My dick isn’t big enough
•  I will disappoint my partner
•  My partner will compare me to other guys
•  My partner will judge me and tell the world
•  I’ll ejaculate too soon
•  I’ll take forever to ejaculate

 These anxieties produce stress hormones like cortisol, adrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine, which produce a heightened state of alert. It’s the opposite of feeling relaxed and calm and in the moment, which is necessary for proper sexual functioning.

These stress hormones constrict blood vessels, inhibiting blood flow, which makes erections more difficult. They also increase muscular and body tension, and actually desensitize the genitalia.

What You Can Do

It’s important to realize you’re not responsible for his hard-on anymore than he is for yours.  But that doesn’t mean you have no role in keeping his Heat Seeking Moisture Missile standing at attention. 

As a general rule, the simplest and most effective way of keeping your partner hard is to give him access to what turns him on and dial down what turns him off.  

If he likes feet, for example, and you insist on wearing socks in bed, you are not going to help matters. If you notice he gets harder when you kiss him then kiss him a lot. If you notice a certain position makes him go soft, avoid the position.

Let’s take the most common worries penetrators struggle with and see what you can do to help.

“I won’t get hard enough”

This worry most often springs from past experiences (especially recent ones) when he struggled with situational impotence.  It can come from not being all that attracted to you (ouch!) or from being too attracted to you. 

Anybody who’s dated out of their league or been in love knows how that can happen—you want someone so bad you’re overwhelmed with the possibility of losing him if you disappoint.  This creates unbearable stress.  Having sex is no longer an expression of desire but a test to see if you’re worthy. 

What you can do

Don’t fan the flames of his worries by commenting on the quality of his erection.  Saying something disparaging like, “Oh, you’re only half-hard” or “Well, I can’t do much with that” will not serve your cause. 

“My dick isn’t big enough”

Almost every guy, top or not, worries about the size of his dick. Even guys with average-sized dicks often think they’re small. They also tend to have a porn-inspired belief that you have to be well-endowed in order to top.

What you can do 

Don’t recount experiences with hung men. Refrain, for example, from pointing to a picture of an ex-boyfriend and saying, “Now HE had a cock!”  

First, you’ll give him evidence that he’ll disappoint you with the size of his dick. Worse, by describing your ex’s genitalia you’ve fueled other anxieties—that you’ll compare him to other guys, judge him, and tell the world. If you make any comments at all stick to the tried and true, “I love your dick—it’s the perfect size.” 

Fundamental acting skills are crucial to hot sex.

Stay Away From Too Much Alcohol 

Winston Churchill proudly said he had taken more out of alcohol than it had taken out of him. He clearly wasn’t in the bedroom when he said it. Alcohol dulls nerves that transmit sensations. It ups the desire but lowers the performance. If your partner drinks too much you’ll get nothing but “beer sex.” Meaning, the hardest thing he’ll have to offer you is the bottle he’s drinking out of.

What you can do

 Alcohol is not an aphrodisiac, but you’d be a fool not to recognize its power to melt away reservations, inhibitions, and worries– the three pillars of awful sex. So yes, in the beginning, alcohol can be quite helpful. Just be sure there’s an end and a quick one at that. The best way to stop your partner from drinking too much is to offer him something better than alcohol—your body.

Resources

Guided Tour of A Painless Bottoming Session Part 5

HAMMERING IN A FEW CONCLUSIONS

Do you know why Steve’s first bottoming experience was so successful?  He took control.  Your success will depend on your willingness to take charge and clearly communicate what you need.  Only you know what you need and if you don’t, you’re the only one who can find out.  

The experience of bottoming is different for everyone.  Some guys literally come within thirty seconds of being penetrated.  Others can’t get hard, even when they’re enjoying it.  

Some guys love missionary because they like the body heat and the feeling of submission that comes from being on the bottom.  Others find it suffocating and prefer less confining positions.   

Some guys like slow, deep thrusts, others like shallow, jackhammer thrusts.  Everybody is different.  Find out what you like, not what you’re supposed to like.  

It may take you longer to prepare yourself for bottoming than it took Steve.  The tightness of your sphincter, the shape, and elasticity of your rectum, and the shape, location, and severity of your S-curve will determine how long it will take to train your puborectal region to accept a hard penis.  

Do not despair if it takes you longer than you had anticipated.  It doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means your puborectal region is built in a way that requires more training.  This isn’t a race.  Don’t let impatience rob you of a lifetime of great bottoming experiences.

A Few Last Tips

Use A Pillow Or Two Under Your Butt

It’ll change the angle, ease the strain on your lower back and make you more comfortable.

Try To Avoid Doggie Style At First

This position allows the maximum insertion of the penis into the rectum, which may be uncomfortable the first few times you bottom.  

Expect Gas. 

Any time air gets pushed into a small, enclosed area, it’s highly likely to create an unwanted sound.  Don’t worry about it.  If it happens, the only appropriate response is laughter.

A Penultimate Thought

Anal intercourse stimulates three areas:  The prostate (“the male g-spot”), the nerve endings in the opening of the anus (the rectum itself has few nerve endings.  It primarily transmits sensations of pressure.), and the “penile bulb” located at the base of the penis, just below the surface of the perineum.   

Guys have different reactions to having these areas stimulated.  Some, like Steve, have astonishingly pleasurable reactions, while others shrug it off with an “is-that-all-there-is?” dismissiveness. 

Still, others simply don’t like any of the sensations.  Where you fall in the spectrum of reactions is strictly a personal preference that you should not judge.  Don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you if you didn’t experience the earth move under your feet.  Lots of guys try pain-free bottoming and don’t like it.  

Still, I’d like you to consider a core philosophy I have about sex:  Never try anything once.  Try it three times.  The first time you’ll get it wrong.  The second time will be awkward. The third time you’ll fully experience it.

If you were underwhelmed with your first time bottoming, don’t worry about it.  You’ve got two more times to go!

 

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