Who Wouldn’t Want to Be Drained by Him?
Alexander Skarsgard, otherwise known as “Eric Northman” on HBO’s hit series “True Blood,” embodies the dark eroticism and just raw sexuality that the disturbing theme song promises in the open credits. He is everywhere right now, Google his name or any variation and you’ll get millions of hits.
What makes the blonde, blue eyed Swede so magnetic as an improbable character-a thousand year old viking- in yet another cheesy vampire themed show? I have no idea really, but I’m buying into it and so is everyone else I know. Vampires are everywhere right now, from the “Twilight” series of books and movies, to the popularity of authors such as Charlaine Harris (creator of the “True Blood” characters in her “Sookie Stackhouse” series), J.R. Ward (Black Dagger Brotherhood), Sherrilyn Kenyon, Laurel Hamilton, and of course the God Mother of strange sexuality; Anne Rice.
This isn’t new though. Our thirst for the forbidden erotic started with a female demon from the Talmud named Lillith. Purported to be the first wife of Adam, she was portrayed in later scripture as a highly sexualized vampire like creature, a succubus, that came upon men in the night and drained them of their essence. Against their will, of course.
Later, Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu and Bram Stoker further branded vampires in the public consciousness as deliverers of the ultimate sexual pleasure. Bringing this imagery to film only heightened the fascination we have for the undead. Ever notice that instead of a wince of pain as Dracula sank his fangs into a neck, that the victim looked transported into orgasmic ecstasy?
My first crush ever came at age four while watching the afternoon soap opera “Dark Shadows”. Showing an early and disturbing predilection for all the bad boys to follow; I worshiped Barnabas Collins and tried to get my little boyfriend at the First Baptist Church nursery to suck my neck during nap times.
We both got our mouths washed out with soap. I still to this day gag when I smell Ivory soap.
Later in my twenties I had “The Lost Boys” to fuel my fantasies of sexy bad boy vampires. Horrible movie, dreadful dialogue, popular with women everywhere. Though for the life of me I never would have picked Kiefer Sutherland as a leading man. No man looks sexy with a mullet and fangs.
Then there was the hideous disappointment of watching Tom Cruise attempt to play Lestat in “Interview With The Vampire”. I had lusted for Lestat for years, and though I felt he was able to capture a little of the seductive sociopathic vibe of the character, he brought none of the sexuality to the screen. Even Brad Pitt couldn’t save the movie, plus they took away all the dark hints of homoeroticism and pedophilia that made the book popular in the first place.
But now I have Alexander. He’s perfect as my ultimate fantasy blood sucker. He has the clean cut features, the faint accent, the air of inaccessibility, the sardonic and dare I say “penetrating” gaze of the ultimate bad boy. One of his character’s talents is to be able to infiltrate your mind and bend it to his will. He can make you do anything he wants without lifting a finger, though you hope he does. He’s 6’4″, so you can climb around on him like a jungle gym. Plus, he might kill you from sheer passion before the sun rises.
Best yet, you aren’t responsible for your own actions. He made you do it.
You didn’t even have to get drunk to let your freak out. You know all the Alexander Skarsgard look alikes are going to get very lucky this August at Vampire-Con in Los Angeles.
I wish I had a ticket.
