People have a phobia about age. Whatever you say after forty they hear as a communicable disease. So if you say “I’m forty-three” they hear “forty-leprosy.”
That’s why ya gotta lie if you wanna get laid.
Yes, yes, I understand that’s not being true to yourself, that you’re just perpetuating ageism, that you’re not accepting who you are, that you’re not growing old gracefully.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
It’s not that I disagree with all that. It’s just that I want to get laid. And if the only thing standing between me a Category 5 blow job is a number, then I’m going to say that number and deal with the consequences later.
I’m a man, after all.
Okay, now let’s get into some sound lying strategies. Always take ten years off yourself. When you’re drunk and he asks you what year you were born you don’t have to deal with complex mathematical formulas. And believe me, when you’re drunk, simple subtraction can leave you paralyzed. My 10-year strategy makes it a simple equation:
Let’s say you were born in 1959. It’s 1959 + 10= 1969. You were born in 1969!
I don’t care how drunk you get, you can do that kind of math. The kind that can help you stop using your right hand as a sleep aid.