Google’s Sexual Hypocrisy.

There is so much porn on Google you’d swear the site was founded by a priest.  So imagine my surprise when I got an email from their bots concluding that my blog was too adult-oriented. (click here to see the actual rejection letter). That’s like the town tramp refusing to date you because she’s got her reputation to think about.

I write about sex, dating and relationships. I make a point of never crossing the line from edgy to off-the-cliff because I write for, and make appearances in, the mainstream media. The invitations to guest on the Tyra Banks Show and The Today Show would dry up if I struck a pervy pose. By most accounts my blog is a witty, insightful collision of rants, advice and observations.

Yet Google considers it no better than p*ussy.org, dumpstersluts.com, and twistedfetishxxx.com (all sites which I found through Google, of course). I decided to test their hypothesis: Is my blog smuttier than Google?

I took popular entries on my site and compared its pictures and content to what I found on Google Image. For example:

Sample content with the word “Porn” on my site: Is porn bad for you? Flicker sex: the fix for a low libido, Is your boyfriend a sexual camel? Why do lesbians watch gay porn?

Sample content with the word Porn on Google Image (these links are to the Google Image search pages, not to actual websites)Petite Asian slut *#cking on a…, Torture porn: want popcorn with that…, teen porn slut blasted by…

Sample pictures associated with the word “Porn” on my site: A camel (nobody servicing it), a lit match, and a gas station called “Pump-N-Munch.”

Sample pictures associated with the word “Porn” on Google Image:   You don’t want to know, you don’t want to see, and you don’t want to click.

That’s just one example. No matter what subject I’ve written about in my blog–dating, kissing, breaking up, Google out-perved me. In fact, some of my entries blushed during the side-by-side comparisons.

There’s nothing I can do about Google and its metacrawling sexual hypocrisy. To them, it’s black and white: You’re a virgin or a whore; Miley Cyrus or Jenna Jameson. In fact, there’s nothing any of us can do about anything Google does. It’s so big, so powerful that it can literally bring you to your knees (I wouldn’t search that phrase on Google Image if I were you). I mean, what if I needed the money from ad banners? Google dominates the market to the point that it can mean economic collapse for people it deems a little too loose and jiggly.

But really, who is Google to determine what’s appropriate and inappropriate? Who made them the arbiter of good taste? Yes, it’s THEIR network but when you’re as big as they are, what looks like corporate autonomy starts feeling like individual oppression. Google gives bloggers the choice of accepting or rejecting ads the blogger deems inappropriate so why won’t it let advertisers determine which blogs they think aren’t a fit?

Is Google too big for our own good? It’s getting there. One thing’s for sure–Google would cackle at a common question I get in my sex advice column: Does size matter?