How To Use Body Language To Determine The State Of Your Sex Life
You can learn more about a couple’s sex life from how they communicate out of bed than from what they do in it.
It makes sense. If you’re desperately unhappy in your relationship, forcing yourself to pucker up for a hello kiss and having to hide your joy when being told your partner has to attend a week-long conference in Siberia, it’s highly unlikely you’ll be eagerly grabbing for his bits once you’re under the covers. If you want great sex tonight, treat your partner well today.
Sometimes it’s blatantly obvious your relationship’s going through a rough patch. You know, like maybe the last time you sat at the table together there were divorce lawyers present.
Other times, you think things are okay, but you’re not entirely sure. You’re happy enough but are they? Are those congratulatory champagne clinks on anniversaries real or is your partner putting on a brave face because he doesn’t want to hurt you?
It’s in situations like these where body language comes into its own. Forget what they’re saying, look at the messages their body is sending you. It takes courage to say “honey, I think we’re in one hell of a rut,” voicing their on happiness because it suddenly makes discussing the problem inevitable.
This is why their body will often tell you they’re unhappy before their words do. See how you and your partner score on the following and if you’re not satisfied, it’s time for one of those dreaded but necessary “We need to talk” chats.
Your Relationship Is In Great Shape If…
They Look You Straight In The Eye.
Direct eye contact means they have nothing to hide.
They’ll Sit On The Sofa Beside You.
As opposed to sitting in a separate chair. Wanting to be physically close during relaxation time means the relationship gives them comfort and it isn’t stressful.
Your Upper Torsos Are Closed When You Hug Each Other.
As a general rule, the closer your hearts, the closer you feel emotionally.
You Press Pelvises When You Hug.
The closer the hips, the better and more frequent the sex. If you closely connect from your shoulders right through to your knees, you have a perfect balance between great sex and love.
They Touch Their Forehead To Yours.
They do this when you hug or just before you kiss. This is a sign of great trust and affection.
Your Relationship May Not Be In Great Shape If…
They Stand Far Apart From You.
Physical distance usually equates to emotional distance.
The Only Time You Seem To Touch Is When You Meet.
That is, when you say goodbye or have sex. You’ve lost physical intimacy and turned into friends with benefits.
They Lean In To Kiss You Hello And Goodbye.
As opposed to snuggling in and getting close.
They Avoid Meeting Your Eyes.
They’re hiding something or someone. Or want to avoid acknowledging how bad the relationship has become.
Their Body Language Is Closed.
We use closed body language – trying to put barriers between us and another person – to protect ourselves. If they always seem to fold their arms, hold their drink between you, cross legs away from you or lean back in a way, it’s not great news.
Next week’s post: how to tell someone they’re rubbish in bed.