Examples Of How To Ask For His Email Address

 

Last week in our series of posts on meeting new guys we talked about the importance of getting his email address over his phone number. This week we’re going to talk about how to do that.

You:  “Well, it was nice meeting you. I’m going to get back to my friends.”

Rationale for stating that you’re going to leave:  Good-looking men are used to men clinging to them.  The fact that you’re about to walk away period, never mind without asking for his phone number, tells him you’re different.

Him:  “Nice meeting you, too.”

You:  “Hey!  Do you have an email address?”

Rationale:  Saying, “hey!” is a bit surprising.  It sounds like an idea just popped into your head.  Notice the question isn’t, “Will you give me your address?”  This is important on a number of fronts.  Asking somebody if they have an email address is different than asking them if they’ll give it to you.  

His answer of course will be YES.  And that sets you up nicely because it’s easier to say YES to one question after you’ve said it to another.  You always want the other person to be in an affirmative position right before you ask something important.  Simply saying the word “Yes” warms the path to actually meeting your request.

You:  “Great!  Write it down for me.”  (hand him pen and paper)

Rationale:  Notice you are not writing it down.  He is.  There’s a reason you want this.  Psychologists call it the “commitment” principle.  If he writes it down, he’s doing the work, so he’ll be more committed to answering your email.

You: (In the middle of him writing it down) “Write your number down there, too.”

Rationale:  The commitment principle basically says, “In for a penny, in for a pound.”  Writing down his phone number after writing down his email just isn’t that much of a stretch.  In fact, it would be downright rude for him not to give it to you precisely because he has to back down from his commitment.  

Consistent with commitments

Which brings us to a new psychological phenomenon:  Consistency.  People want to be consistent with their commitments.  If you can get a guy to commit to something small (writing down an email address) the consistency principle triples the chance that he’ll commit to something a bit larger (writing down his number).  Once somebody commits to sharing information with you, sharing a little bit more isn’t a big deal.

What if he doesn’t have an email address (or claims not to?)

Always handle an obstacle with humor.  Here’s a great example if he says he doesn’t have email:   “Really?  Tell me this…do you have electricity?” 

Remember, make him laugh and you’re halfway up his leg.  You can follow it up by saying something like, “Alright, fine, I’ll take your phone number, even though I’d rather have your email.”  That alone makes you memorable.

A Second Living, Breathing Example Of How To Get him Email Address

You:   “Hey, do you have an email address?”

Her:  “Yes, why?”

You:  “Great, give it to me because I want to send you a quick message.”

Quick note:  If you don’t have a pen, make sure you’re smartphone is set to “notepad” so you don’t fumble around the phone trying to find a place to put his email address.

Next week in our series: What to write in your first email and how to turn it into a date.

 

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