Like A Pornstar

Like A Pornstar

gay dating appsHow To Write a Defining Headline In A Gay Dating App

 

“HEADLESS BODY FOUND IN TOPLESS BAR.”

–Famous headline in the New York Post

Some headlines are irresistible.  You just have to keep reading.  The job of your headline is to get people to read your profile.  Remember, every opportunity you have to present yourself is an opportunity to lure in the kind of guy you like. 

The average guy spends seconds scanning potential dates online, so you literally have seconds to make yourself noticed.  Great photos and an intriguing username are like delicious crumbs you leave leading to your door. You don’t want to slam it shut in their face with an awful header or headline.

Beware the trap of using common or overused headers. They give the wrong impression–that you’re lazy, boring, and unimaginative. Now, that may be true, but we are determined to show your BEST self, right? So spend some extra time on your header.

According to Online Dating Magazine, these are…

The Top 10 Most Overused Headers:

10) blah. blah. blah.

9) Just curious

8) Are you the one?

7) Looking for a partner in crime.

6) Looking to meet new people.

5) I can’t believe I’m doing this!

4) I’m the one your mother warned you about.

3) Seeking Prince Charming.

2) Hi (or “hello” or “howdy” or “hey there”)

And the number one most overused profile subject header….

 I might be the one you’re looking for!

 

A Test

Now, didn’t those leave you with a desire to wash your eyeballs out with bleach?  To bring the point home, try this quick test. Which one of these four headlines would interest you?

  1. “Hello”
  2. “You May be the One I’m Looking for”
  3. “Looking to Meet New People”
  4. “Willing to Lie About How We Met!”

If you didn’t pick the fourth one, stop reading.  I can’t bear the idea I wrote a post that’s being read by somebody who needs a humor by-pass.  Seriously, most people prefer the humorous approach. It’s unique and clever.  Bottom line: make sure your header stands out like a peacock among common poultry.  Here are a few guidelines:

Ask An Interesting, Open-Ended Question.

Examples:

  • At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? 
  • What is God’s last name?
  • Ask me how many times I broke the speed limit this week.

DO NOT CAP TEXT YOUR HEADLINE!

 ONLY USE CAP TEXT WHEN YOU WANT TO ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF SOMEBODY.   

Use A Quote.

No, not some cheesy thing out of Eat Pray Love.  Try something out of a book, song or movie that says something about you.  Here are a few I’ve seen that I’ve liked:

  •  I’m really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking!   (from Zoolander)
  • “I don’t know what to say, so I’ll just say what’s in my heart… Baboom, Baboom, Baboom.” (Spaceballs)
  • You know what the trouble about real life is? There’s no danger music.  (Ace Ventura)

Ask Yourself If You Would Respond to You

If you’re feeling stuck, a great way to make your profile better is to analyze profiles you like. What is it that you like about them? What makes them different?

Avoid Sounding Sad, Needy Or Judgemental

Your header shows up on all searches, so make it work extra-hard for you. Some traps to avoid:

  • The overly sincere.  Example: “Ready to settle down.”  First of all, it’s a cliché.  So, I’m already expecting the next line and wincing:  “Love long walks on the beach.”
  •  Reverse judgementalism.  Example: “Can’t believe I’m doing this!”  Well, ya are Blanche, ya are.   Not only does this header sound like you’re judging yourself, but everyone else on the site.

Give Clues To What Makes You Tick

 Consider two headlines.  Which one gives you a clearer picture of the guy behind it?

1)  “Food & Music Rock My Boat”  

2)  “Classical Music Buff Who Loves Beer And BBQ” 

Two words:  Be specific.

Mix It Up…And Often

Keep your profile fresh by rotating your pictures and changing your header about once a month (more if response rates go south).  You’d be surprised at how different subject headers attract different people.  Don’t be afraid to experiment.  Here are some examples:

  • Experimental cook needs food taster
  • Well preserved but not yet pickled
  • 750cc’s of mad biker seeks pillion
  • Bookworm seeks bookmark to keep his place
  • Office worker by day, inter-galactic assassin by night

Use Your Header as a Filter

Here’s one of the biggest complaints that gay dating apps get:  “I’m getting hit on by people who aren’t my type!”  If your cyber door is being darkened by unwanteds, use your header as a filter.  Here are a couple of examples:

  • Looking for smooth, 24-30 year old guys
  • Are you six foot tall and have a waist under 32?  Come on in!
  • Looking for hairy guys over 40 only.

You can greatly reduce “noise” by simply putting a filter on your subject header.   Don’t be afraid to use them, but at the same time, be kind.  There’s no need to bitch-slap people with crap like, “No blacks, fats or femmes.” 

SUMMARY

  • Ask an interesting, open-ended question.  It’ll make your headline stand out.
  • DO NOT CAP TEXT YOUR HEADLINE.  It’s rude.
  • Use a quote.  Especially from movies.
  • Ask yourself if you’d respond to your headline.
  • Avoid sounding sad.  Or needy or judgmental. 
  • Give hints about who you are.  It’s like an appetizer before the entree.
  • Change your header once a month.  It’s the single least-known fact about gay dating sites–people really do read the headlines!
  • Use your header as a filter.  It’ll weed out guys who aren’t your type.

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