Gay Sex: How To Give Great Head Part 2
The first thing that’ll help you change your mind about blowjobs is to reframe why you’re doing it. Whenever we do something for somebody else we quickly turn it into a “chore.” A job. An unwelcome necessity to keep your partner happy. You should be doing this for yourself because it gives you pleasure.
Are You Groaning About Groins?
Perhaps the reason you don’t enjoy giving blowjobs is that guys you’ve gone down on smelled like swamp ass.
There’s also understandable anxiety about one’s mouth coming in contact with the part of a man’s body that excretes bodily waste. Even if not a drop of his pee enters your mouth, plenty of guys can’t tolerate the faint scent of urine and sweat that can build up while his package is tucked into underwear.
Unlike ovens, a man’s penis is not self-cleaning, so it’s important to make sure your partner washes his private areas thoroughly before oral sex. This is especially important for uncut guys, as their foreskin retains a natural lubricant known as smegma, which can accumulate and acquire an unappealing odor.
If you’ve had bad experiences with smells and odors, good news! Your man can cure it with soap and water! Yes, it’s that easy. Sometimes you’ve got to draw a line in the sand by punishing bad behavior (“no bjs for you, buddy, until you clean up!”) and rewarding good, clean deeds (“Spread your legs, I’m coming in!”). The simple truth is that you have to be demanding of your men. Quick story to make my point:
A Jewish grandma and her grandson are at the beach. He’s playing in the water, she is standing on the shore, not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He was swept away.
The grandma holds her hands to the sky, screams and cries: “Lord, how could you? Haven’t I been a wonderful grandmother? Haven’t I been a wonderful mother? Haven’t I kept a kosher home? Haven’t I given to the B’nai B’rith? Haven’t I lit candles every Friday night? Haven’t I tried my very best to live a life that you would be proud of?”
A voice booms from the sky, “All right already!”
A few minutes later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the boy is standing there. He is smiling and splashing around as if nothing had ever happened.
The voice booms again. “I have returned your grandson. Are you satisfied?”
She responds, “He had a hat.”
My point, and I do have one, is that you must demand more of your men if they expect a blowjob. Take heart from these demanding guys, who make no bones about their expectations:
“I only, ONLY give blowjobs if the guy looks after himself, especially down there (shaven, cleaned, and a good diet). I’ve slept with guys who didn’t look after themselves (bad diet, didn’t think about cleaning down there, didn’t shave) and it’s unpleasant to the point where the cum made me want to hurl.
I’ve also given blowjobs to guys who did look after themselves. One guy in particular was very into being in tip-top condition, had a Pinterest-worthy diet and he was a bit of a clean freak. It was absolutely magical to suck his dick. It was smooth and everything smelled nice. His cum had the slightest sweet tinge to the taste but other than that it was tasteless and had no smell, and it was so smooth and silky in my mouth too. I literally could have sucked his dick all day. He was also very vocal about his pleasure, which I found satisfying. I think there is a lot to be said for having a guy look after himself down there.”
—N.
“I love blowjobs only if guys meet my criteria. If it’s a dick that I really find attractive, attached to a guy who knows what he’s doing in that department (grooming, diet for the sake of cum taste, etc.), I want to suck it for hours. Even longer if it’s a guy who’s vocal and shows the pleasure he’s receiving through squirms and moans and shudders.”
—A.
“I can’t feel like I’m OBLIGATED to blow him. When I go down on my manfriend, I really want to, and I suck that thing like I’m on The Price is Right and I want to win the fucking convertible. You’ve got to worship the dick, but on YOUR terms. That’s all I’m sayin’.”
—D.
But It’s Uncomfortable!
Some guys actually like giving head but don’t want to put up with the physical discomfort they experience. Their lips are easily stretched to the limits of their elasticity, or they can’t take more than two inches before they choke like a crow with too much in its craw.
We’ll explore overcoming the physical discomfort of giving head in the next chapter, so you can cross discomfort off your list now. Meantime, admit it, do you…
Suck at Sucking?
If the reason you don’t enjoy giving oral sex is because you’re bad at it, I admire your self-awareness. Maybe you’ve been told your blowjobs are heartless, dry and toothy, and you see no point in subjecting other penises to such mistreatment. Bartender, another round of lack of confidence, please!
Kudos to your sensitivity, but incompetence is a flimsy excuse to rob yourself of giving or receiving pleasure. I remember a friend telling me that after one of his first attempts at giving a blowjob, his date said, “If this were a restaurant, I’d send it back.” He was crushed. But not for long, because it gave him the determination to get better.