How To Bottom: Best Positions & Angles Of Entry
Think of anal sex as a gay Super Mario Brothers video game. The guy who’s topping you, a plumber named Mario, arrives in an outlandish realm (your ass) to battle King Virgin and rescue the milky white Prince Prostate.
The king has set two main traps to keep Mario from massaging Prince Prostate and letting his waters run dry. The first is the Giant Gate we just talked about—made up of internal and external sphincters, which protect the prince with the force of a squeeze-cement job.
In the last chapter, we figured out how to trick the sphincter into releasing its hold and voila, the Giant Gate swung open, allowing Mario, and later his brother Luigi and depending on your inclinations, everyone in Topland, access to the Prince’s fruited plain.
But immediately upon entering, Mario slams into a second trap that seems to come out of nowhere—a wall. This wall, knocks Mario on his ass and causes all the minions in the pubo-rectal kingdom to cry out in pain.
Mario doesn’t have many choices. Sure, he could try to force himself through the wall, but he wants to pleasure Prince Prostate, not put him in traction.
He certainly can’t dig under or jump over the wall because the attempt itself would put the Prince in the ICU.
What can Mario do?
Make The Wall Disappear
Mario doesn’t need to go under, over or through it. He just needs you to make the wall go away. Let me explain.
Most of us think the plumbing in our ass goes down a straight line like the garbage shoot in an apartment complex. But it actually curves in two places. The first curve occurs almost immediately upon entering the sphincter (causing that wall Mario’s penis keeps slamming into).
As you learned in Chapter Three, this curve is caused by the puborectal sling, a strong, supportive muscle that wraps around the rectum. The curve creates a “rectal wall” that stops the penis from entering. Here take a look:
As you can see, the puborectal sling acts like a rope holding back a stage curtain. When the rope is released, the curtain straightens out and the “rectal wall” disappears, giving your partner unfettered access to the goods within.
So how do you make that “rectal wall” disappear?
Do this: hold your left hand up as if you’re shaking hands. This is your rectal wall. Now take your right index finger and poke the middle of the palm at ninety degrees. This is the penis stabbing the rectal wall. The pain will know you into the middle of next week.
Now, angle your palm (back of the hand turning toward the floor) 45 degrees and poke again. Better, but it still hurts, right? Now, raise the tip of your right finger up by approximately 45 degrees and poke.
Ahh, feels nice, right? Notice the finger slides up the “rectal wall” rather than poking and jabbing at it. Imagine it with lube. Magic!
In this example, you are not stabbing the rectal wall because you “straightened out the S curve” (your palm) and adjusted the penis’ angle of entry (your index finger). The wall “disappears” allowing Mario to screw Prince Prostate like he owes him money.
Now, how do we take what we just learned with our palm and index finger and apply it to anal sex? Stay tuned for next week’s installment.