New Gay Dilemma: Suffering From Dicklash

I don’t know what normal people do on Mondays, but I spent mine looking at hot naked men all day. Well, not all day. I went for a doctor visit first, which is exactly that. We quickly dispense with the boring medical business; then talk shoes, boys, plastic surgery, and cosmetics. Then we plan to go to lunch or something. We spent most of the visit discussing whether or not she should get implants, and I told her I would do a post on my personal decision process later this week.

So afterward I came home and started doing my research for June and July’s “Wide-On” feature. Last week fellow blogger suggested a website that I might find inspiration from called “Kenneth in the 212.” Telling me about a good blog is like handing a crackhead a lit pipe, I can spend all day blog trolling. I’ve always had voyeuristic tendencies and love peeping into peoples lives, so blogs must have been created for me. What could be more interesting than someone’s thoughts, even the less inspired ones? So then I started reading Kenneth’s blog roll and it just sort of snow balled from there.

I saw so many pictures of naked men that I now have a condition called “dick lash”.

My eyes hurt from taking in so much male pulchritude. I swore when I went to the gym later that I wouldn’t even glance at any of the glistening weight room boys. After a few hours of nothing but pictures of gorgeous, barely dressed, sometimes butt ass naked men, I have come to a conclusion.

Gay men are to male photography like Mormons are to genealogy.

If you are a man, straight or gay, that has ever had a naked or semi-naked photograph taken of you, or just a picture of your dick, or any sort of provocative picture at all, then the gays have it on a website.

You exist somewhere in gay cyberspace.

I looked at beautiful men from all over the world yesterday. Men in every stage of dress and undress. Men from every walk of life and every profession. Men of every ethnicity. Cut and uncut, longs, shorts, stubbies, thicks, thins, and crookeds. What an exhaustive undertaking to compile, catalog, and organize all of this for my free viewing pleasure!

I got my husband all worked up about it last night as I suggested I even saw military related sites and that he might possibly be out there in all his glory. I convinced him that a lot of the pictures were unposed, and that it was possible that the subject never even knew he was being photographed. Locker rooms, showers, urinals, any of these could be a setting for a shot.

He’s decided to only use stalls from now on. God how I love to screw with him. I also told him about a site devoted to gay Balkan men. He works with a group of hyper masculine homophobes from Croatia, Slovenia, Macedonia, Serbia, and Bosnia. I think they might enjoy it. The photo above is of a Serbian water polo player. I have no idea what you do in water polo, but I would be happy to have that guy chase me around the pool.

So in the course of my research, I did manage to gather some fantastic pictures of some of the world’s most gorgeous men and have all my June and July slots filled. However, I’m still open to suggestions, so please send them in. I shouldn’t be the only one having fun.