Like A Pornstar

Like A Pornstar

gay dateWhy Relationships Are Like A Bacon And Egg Breakfast

 

My friend Lisa Daily, author of Stop Getting Dumped, Fifteen Minutes of Shame, and How to Date Like a Grown Up, asked my opinion on 7 Common Dating Myths for an article just published in a giant dating service for men, women and gays (wait, is gay a gender?).

Here are my one line answers.

1) Women only want to date men with money.   No.  They want to date men who have a car but don’t live in it.

2) Men only want to date women who are beautiful. Yes.  It’s not that we don’t want the rest of the goodies–personality, kindness, humor, etc.  It’s that we want all those gifts wrapped in a beautiful box.  (!)

3) Men want sex, not commitment.  We like to think about relationships like a bacon and eggs breakfast:  The chicken was involved; the pig was committed.  We’d rather be the chicken.

4) The nice guys don’t get the girl.   Bull.  Nice guys EVENTUALLY get the girl.

5) The longer you’ve been dating, the more likely the chances you’ll get married. No.  Once you past the 3-5 year phase, the chances slope down like a bent-necked pack mule.

6) Men are intimidated by powerful women. Yes, but less and less so.

7) Love conquers all.   PPFFFT!  (the sound of coffee spraying out onto my screen).  LOVE AIN’T ENOUGH.

Is a drag queen over 40 a Drag Cougar?

Guest Blogger Miss Ginger Grant on the question all drag queens must eventually ask themselves: Have I become a cougar?

While most of the drag queens Miss Ginger knows are ageless(present company included!), there comes a time when one asks oneself: “Have I become a cougar?” I mean, face it ladies, we all like to look at the young ones, and those of us fortunate enough to be single even get to chase them from time to time! But, there come a time when we ain’t catching them like we used to! And, even though the chase is fun, when it causes angina, it might be time to live up to our age! (Cue the score of “Mame”!)

From an appearance standpoint, it’s easy to keep up. There’s a reason they put that little shovel in the box with our Dermablend! Scoop out a little more, blend it flawlessly, and the years fall off our faces. Check out the red carpet, twist the wig into the right shape, and voila! Hollywood glam! And we all have that secret seamstress that can make a gown that’s timelessly stunning no matter what our size!So, how do we know when we’ve become a “drag cougar”?  Take this little quiz…

1. Do you sit and sip while your boyfriend dances with his “friends”?


2. Does your Amex have more charges at Abercrombie and Fitch than it does at Lane Bryant?


3. Do you have to miss “Dancing with the Stars” so he can watch “Punk’d”?


4. Is there Red Bull in the fridge next to your Fresca?


5. Are there more jockstraps than brassieres in your laundry basket?


6. Are you sound asleep by the time your BF settles down to watch “Chelsea, Lately”?


7. Do you have panty hose older than your boyfriend?

If you answered “yes” to ANY of the above questions, you are probably a drag cougar! So, what’s a girl to do? Sharpen your claws, grab him after “Punk’d”, and make your mark on him before “Chelsea, Lately” even starts! Let’s face it, gurls- we all look better after a good night’s sleep!