A Dialogue About Sexual Fantasies Overheard At A Bar

Steven:  How was last night?

Alex:   I did what you suggested and it worked.

Steven:  You got him to tell you one of his fantasies?

Alex:  (looks away) Yep.

Steven:  Ooooo, and?

Alex:   It’s private!

Steven:  Come on.  It’s a known fact that a guy can’t possibly sleep with another guy without telling at least one person the details the next day.

Alex:  We didn’t sleep together.

Steven:  Oh.  All the more reason you need to tell me what fantasy he shared with you.  Did you promise him you wouldn’t tell?

Alex:  No, but I think that’s pretty much implied.

Steven:  Don’t be so sure.  If he’s an exhibitionist – it’s actually part of his fantasy that you tell others – that he is “found out”.

Alex (thinking):  Hmmmm …

Steven:  I knew it!

Alex:  He’s not an exhibitionist.  He whispered it to me like he’d never told anyone before.

Steven:  Fine.  So what else did you guys do last night, if didn’t lead to sex?

A moment, then …

Alex:  (blurts out) We’re at Dodger Stadium and it’s packed and we have sex at every base while all the fans watch and cheer and every time we climax that victory music plays and the crowd goes crazy and I guess that means he’s a huge exhibitionist, huh?

 

Steven:  Oh baby!  So now you’ve gotta share —  at which base did you have the hottest sex?

Alex:  I didn’t ask him for details.  I was so skeeved out, I told him to change fantasy channels in his head, and tell me a different one.

Steven:  Wow, really?  And then what was his next one?

Alex:  He just turned over and fell asleep.

Steven:  Isn’t the point of listening to his fantasies, to find out what turns him on?

Alex:  But if that’s what turns him on, I don’t want to know.

Steven:  But that is just a fantasy.

Alex:  A disgusting one. He’s get off on a million people watching?  I wouldn’t want anyone watching.

Steven:  Not even Matt Kemp?

Alex:   That’s what I should have said!   “Honey, sorry I gotta leave you, Mattt Kemp is waiting for me at home plate, and he’s taking me to a nice private hotel.

Steven:  Wow.

Alex:  If I let him know when I don’t approve of his fantasies, then maybe he’ll tell a good one next time.

Steven:  You think there will be a next time?

Alex:  Huh?