Why You Should Ask For His Email Instead Of His Number

 

It ain’t a big deal for a man to give his number out to somebody he doesn’t know if he’s on an app.  But at a social event?  The dynamic completely changes.  There are legitimate safety concerns.  Are you a Potential friend, Potential Lover, or Potential Restraining Order?

You can bypass the fear factor with a low-risk request: his email address.  In the world of rock, scissors, men, email beats phone every time.

See, men have a lot of reasons for giving out their phone numbers.  Sometimes it’s just to get you off his back.  Some like the ego stroke of getting calls and texts from lots of guys.   Can’t you just hear him turning to his friends while the phone rings off the hook–“Why are so many guys texting me!” 

Of course, most of the time men are actually interested.  The problem is that unless he had strong interest he may be standoffish, uninterested and sometimes, downright rude on the phone.  There are a lot of reasons for this. 

Depending on how much he drank and how many guys he met, he may not fully remember you.  Or sadly he may have recalled that you weren’t all that and a bag of chips.  Either way, you’re left with one dud of a phone call.

This doesn’t happen with email.  Not only is it easier to ask for, it exponentially increases the chance of a positive response.  

Why Email Is Better

First, you’ll be less rattled with a first email than a first phone call.  

Because you can think it through beforehand, you’re much likelier to write something fun, inventive and clever than you are to impulsively come up with something over the phone.

Second, it’s easier for a man to reply to an email than to respond to a phone call.

What if you call when he can’t answer?  A lot of men have a rule about not calling back (a lot of guys like to be the chasee, not the chaser), or he may not be interested enough to dial your number.  Hitting the “reply” button on your browser doesn’t take much of an investment.  Emails are answered FAR more often than voicemail messages.

Third, email gives you a better chance at building attraction with a man who’s ambivalent about you.

A man who’s ambivalent about you or has a low level of interest is not going to return your call.  And if you do catch him on the line you’re going to feel that ambivalence and most likely feel doubly pressured to “perform.”  And you know what happens with performance anxiety.  Things tend to go south; not north.

An email has a real chance of convincing an ambivalent man that maybe he had you wrong and that he should a) give you his phone number,  b) answer it when you call or c) Call you back when you leave a message.

Also, men are naturally attracted to men who take the time to write something funny or inventive.
The written word is far more romantic than the spoken word.  

It’s Low Risk

Giving out an email address is “low risk” because he can always choose not to answer it.

It’s easier to overcome the “stalker objection” with a request for an email address.  Think about it.  When was the last time a man got woken up by an obscene email in the middle of the night?

Next Week in our series:  Examples Of How To Ask For His Email Address.

 

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