How To Talk About Sex When Things Go Wrong

 

For our series on how to talk to your lover about sex –without cringing or turning red, we begin by acknowledging that many if not most people find it embarrassing to talk about sex.

Actually, that’s a ridiculous statement. Almost all of us have problems talking about sex because it’s such a taboo territory. It isn’t just the subject itself but what the discussion usually entails. Namely, that things aren’t going well. That is an admission most of us don’t want to make (or hear).

One of the problems is that sex is shrouded in such mystery and secrecy that it might as well be at the bottom of a pile of heavy, old myths. Like the one that says if you love someone, you’ll know exactly what to do to please them, without ever uttering (or hearing) a word of instruction.

Psychic Sex

Are we supposed to practice psychic sex? In addition, there is a false perception that we’re born good lovers. As if no one has to be educated about sex. As if you’re supposed to know what a frenulum is, where the prostate is located, and how to get around common sex problems without ever been taught or told.

Where this Divine knowledge stems from isn’t explained but the end result is that most people’s sex lives are half as good as they could be.

We’re going to fix that with this series of posts on clever sexual communication.  We’ll show you how to air your sexual anxieties as painlessly as possible.

You may be squirming at the mere thought of having to confess to your partner that something’s wrong but let’s make something abundantly clear here before you decide it’s all too difficult and stick your head back in the sand. If your partner is not making you happy in bed, you have four choices:

Dump Them

Find someone else. That’s an excellent solution if you’re only with them for sex but unlikely since they’re bad at it (!)

Put Up With It

Resign yourself to a lifetime of frustration, resentment, and dissatisfaction which inevitably accompanies putting up with bad sex.

Put Up With It That Have Sex On The Side

That’s called an affair and there are plenty of reasons why that isn’t the answer.

Talk About It

Suffer half-an-hour of possible embarrassment and more than likely turn bad sex into mind-blowing, amazing sex.

So what will it be? Excellent. Now that we got that out of the way the rest is easy. Sort of.  In our next post, we’ll be discussing possibly the biggest burden on your sex life: what’s happening outside the bedroom.