How to Build A Smokin’ Hot Profile On Gay Dating Apps

 

“Hey!  You’ve made a spectacular choice by clicking on my profile!”

While your username whispers a sense of who you are, your profile screams it.  And it has an enormous influence on whether guys contact you or not.  Most people are surprised by two key findings in online research:  a)  Profiles are almost as important in hookup sites as relationship sites and b)  Short profiles work best.  

You shouldn’t be writing long fawning essays in your profile.  They should be, like, 300 words at most for a a site and waaaaaaay less than that on an app.  Remember, your profile isn’t there to qualify somebody for a hookup or marriage. 

It’s main function is to GET YOU TO THE NEXT STEP (a call or a meet-up).  And the only thing that gets you to the next step is to rationally convince guys that you’ve answered their three main concerns:  1)  Are you good looking enough?  2)  Are you interesting enough? 3) Are we at all compatible?

Let’s start with the hookup sites.  Do you really need to spend much time on a profile?  Do you need one at all?  Yes, oh God, YES!  And let me tell you why.  You’re reading this series on online dating because you wanted to MEET HOTTER GUYS.  Higher quality guys don’t just respond to good pictures.  They want a good sense of who and what they’re getting into.

Higher quality guys, even when they’re looking for a roll in the hay, want some kind of an emotional connection.  They might want dick but they care about who that dick is attached to.  Think about it–don’t you?  Even when you trick, you’re picky about who you trick with, right?  

Here’s another reason you need to spend time on a profile for hookup sites:  Many, many guys on hookup sites like GrindR like it use it to find dates.  Here, let me prove it to you. 

When sites get as big as Grindr or Scruff they become everything to everyone.  What’s Dick Central to some is the Love Boat to others.  If you want hotter guys for sex or marriage, you need to create a compelling profile.  

Funny examples of what to write in your profile

I’m 100% 50/50.  umm. i like doing fun stuff. fun stuff is good. unless its bad. thats not good. i also like doing other stuff. so yeah, other stuff and fun stuff…

I could be this generation’s Mother Teresa if I only gave a damn about anyone other than myself… That was acting. Thank you.

*If I don’t respond, I’m probably busy… reading porn to the blind.

Look at the good I do! Now, get the hell out of here.

If you don’t have a face pic, I probably won’t respond….”

This headline will self-destruct in 30 seconds

Repeat after me: you + are = you’re.  For example: if you’re enchanted with your own hotness, you’re probably looking for your alter-ego who refers to himself as “hot-this” or “vgl-that.” homey don’t play dat.

Not into drugs or unsafe play. but I am into redheads and mutual massages.  Here are a few other favorites (not):
“str8-acting” (str8 guys don’t hunt men)
“breed me” (i’m more likely to sterilize you)
“perfer ub2” (prefer ubliterate)
“i’m hot” (take off your ego)
“your hot” (what about my hot?)

Just browsing, and being, the local porn. please unlock if you say “hi.”

Examples Are Not Recommendations

Now, let’s be clear about these (and other examples).  I’m not saying that they’re great examples for everyone.  In fact, they’re missing some key components.  What I’m saying is they’re great examples of reflecting that person’s personality.  Now, let’s move on to…

The Proven Formula For Profiles On Hookup Sites.

After seeing years of research on profiles that attract the most hits, I developed a fail-safe,  6-step formula guaranteed to dramatically increase your hit rate.  It’s simple, actually.  Mix humor, confidence, “qualifiers,” a description of your physical attributes, what you’re looking for, a few observations and a question that serves as a call to action prompt. 

This formula works for both hookup sites and dating sites (the difference is that dating profiles should be longer).  Here’s my 6-step formula for building the perfect profile for hookup sites.  Use it as a basis for creating your own profile:

1)  Opening humorous line that portrays confidence.   

Example:  I solemnly swear I’m up to no good.

2.) Description of physical attributes

Example:  Tall enough to reach for the jam jar  but not the top of the fridge (5’10”), brown curly hair, blue eyes, smooth, 32 waist, 10” shoe size (stop it, I know what you’re thinking).

3)   A short personal revelation

Example:  I walked into the Fontainebleau hotel in Miami Beach ten years ago and I’ve been trying to wear the lobby ever since.

4)   What you’re looking for

Partial to smooth blondes but I’m an equal opportunist.  

5) Disqualifiers. 

Example:  I prefer hairy guys under forty.  Thanks!

6) A question/call to action

Example:  Why do people watch (list a show you hate)?

If you look at any successful profile (hookup or dating site) they inevitably have some version of these six steps.  Many people have asked me about #6, the call to action. 

Why is that important?  Because it’s an invitation to respond.  It’s a device to prompt engagement.  And it also serves as an easy way to start a conversation for the shy who may not know where to start.

 

Okay, so here’s the big reveal:  An example of a real profile that incorporates almost everything in my formula and works like a charm.  Feel free to beg, borrow or steal parts of it.

Tall, Slender & Muscular looking for a hookup, a date or a husband (And not necessarily in that order)

So, I’m 39, 6’2, 175 lbs, 32w, black hair, green eyes Spain/Russia mix, hairy chest, olive skin.  

You’re my type if you’re  25-42, a 7 or 8 on the “10” meter, cute more than hot, thinks kissing and touching is better than sex, likes pretzeling on the couch as much as partying and knows the difference between its and it’s. 

Unfortunately, I have a very specific type so there’s no point in contactng me if you weigh more than 180 lbs or have a waist size bigger than 32.

If I could be anyone in Family Guy I’d be Stewie.  I think it’d be cool to threaten your mother with a British accent.  Who’d you be?  

Next week in the series:  what to write on your dating app profile.

 

Gay Dating Resources

Gay Dating Advice
Gay Texting Tips
Gay Body Language
How To Meet Guys