Gay Sex Advice Questions Begging For Your Input
We had way more questions than we can answer when it comes to providing gay sex tips. So we’ve started a new feature showcasing the questions that we’ve received but cannot answer. But, hey, maybe you can give it a whirl. So take some time to read through these questions and write your advice down in the comments section. Hey, maybe you’ll become the next Dan Savage!
Question #1
I’ve been happily in a relationship for about a year now. Things have been great between us and I think we’re going to take our relationship for the long haul. My only concern is that he is much more sexually experienced than I am and he likes aggressive sex. I waited a long time and had only been out of the closet for 6 months before I met him, and in that time period, I only had 2 partners.
Most of the time I bottom but I don’t see myself as submissive. I’m usually the one that initiates sex and I usually end up doing most of the work. He really wants me to be more aggressive when we have sex. Not necessarily bondage and whips, but more along the lines of being more physical and dominant. At first I blamed it on my inexperience! but I never feel like I know what I should be doing. I have no problem with the idea of being more aggressive and I think I would enjoy it as well if I could pull it off. When I do try to be more aggressive, it seems to be unnatural and I usually end up embarrassed, even if I don’t get a negative response from my boyfriend.
We’ve tried a few things like light bondage but when I had him tied up I couldn’t really think of anything to do so I pretty much did the same things I normally do and I know he was expecting a lot more. I’m fine with holding his hands over his head while I’m kissing him or pushing him onto the bed and pulling his pants off of him but things like that seem sort of run of the mill.
I guess what I’m looking for are a few tips on what to do to drive him wild.
Question #2
I thought I would share this with you and your readers, if you think they might like the info. I would also like to get your advice on where to go next. This is a bit of a long story, so please bear with me.
First of all, I am a 65 yo man. About 20 years ago, I had a rectal polyp that turned out to be cancerous, so I went through chemo and radiation. I received radiation fore and aft every weekday for a month (except a little break because of the radiation burn). The radiation had some residual affect (several years after the fact) on me. I began to notice that I wasn’t producing very much testosterone. At first I though this was just due to getting older, but, after talking with my doctor, we decided that the chemo had been a contributing factor. I began taking testosterone replacement (I get a shot every 2 weeks). I was also beginning to notice the onset of ED. I could get a hard on (sort) but it wouldn’t last very long. Being a top, this became depressing and problematic. I tried all of the regiments available: Viagra, et al; penile injections, pump etc all with the same basic result (a short lived hard on). After quite a bit of soul searching and deep thought and talks with an urologist (and a sex counselor at the hospital), I decided to get the Mentor penile prosthesis. As you probably know, this is a 3 piece system (actually more pieces than 3) consisting of two “balloons” that replace the corpus cavernous, a pump that goes in the scrotum and a reservoir that goes in the abdominal cavity. I read a lot about the system and watched the web link showing the procedure.
The procedure is not quite out patient, but in general is only a one or two day stay in the hospital. I was completely prepped for the procedure, pre antibiotics and the works. I had the surgery and went back 2 weeks later for a follow up. The doctor became very concerned and put me in the hospital immediately; I had developed an infection. They had to remove the device. BAD NEWS….. They put me on a major regiment of antibiotics.
I went back 6 months later and we decided to try again. They double sterilized the instruments, give me antibiotics before the surgery; everything they could do. The device was installed again. I was happy. I couldn’t wait to try out me new everhard cock. Pump that sucker up and fuck for hours. I went back 2 weeks later for a follow up and everything looked like it was going well (this was on a Friday). On Sunday, I started oozing puss and noticed that the end of the rod was beginning to pierce the end of my urethra. By Monday morning, my testicles were beginning to ooze puss as well and were swelling. I called the doctor, drove 2 hours back to the hospital and went immediately into a room and then surgery. For the second time I had to have the device removed.
I am one of the unfortunate 5% of people who develop infections from surgeries.
The resulting situation has been rather difficult to deal with and has required quite a bit of adjustment. My cock was never really large (maybe 4 or 5 inches), but now, with no erectile tissue, it is almost non-existent. It is basically a skin covered urethra and a glans. It has not substance at all and just hangs there. Unfortunately, also, the nerves along the shaft were destroyed so there is no sensation. I could get my dick caught in a zipper and never know.
I don’t really think I want to go through another attempt at having the device installed. Twice is OK, 3 times is lunacy.
This brings me to my sex life (or lack thereof) today. I have always enjoyed sucking cock, so at least I had that. One of the problems has been that most guys want to be able to reach down between their partner’s legs and play with a cock. With me they draw back rather quickly. Nothing but a limp “thing” hanging there. I am single (as my partner of 6 years died many years ago) and it is hard to find sex partners who can understand and enjoy. I have trouble bottoming (again, thanks to the radiation).
Bottom line for guys who might be in the situation I was in originally, I would do it all over again if I had to. So many have been so successful (a man in the room with me the 2nd time was having his replaced after 10 years (like any device, they do wear out). He and his girlfriend loved it. Yes, I would do it again, but I would be a realist (I was anyway) and realize that shit happens and some of us are prone to infection and it won’t work.
Do you have any good suggestions on ways to enrich my sex life? Mentally I am a horn dog, but, my cock…… well, that is another story.
I did want to share this with any of your older (and some not so much older) readers who have to face what life gives us and not let it destroy us.
Thanks for lending an ear.
Question #3
im a new twink on the block and having as much fun as possible. now i love sucking but everytime someone tries to give me anal they can only get half into me before it hurts so much they have to stop.
alot of my drag friends have suggested butt plugs.. that doesn’t sound appealing to me.. i’ve tried putting things up there myself to no avail.
how can i make my first “real” time a painless and enjoyable experience?
— almost there.
Question #4
I think I might have an addiction to BB sex….maybe you can tell me if this is an issue or is it just in my head? First of all, I don’t randomly select (or be selected) for BB play. I only play with my long time friends who I know & trust their status. Especially couples. I enjoy the intimacy of two bareback lovers sharing me. The real thing is, my body starts to crave skin on skin connection when I am naked with a guy/cpl and I know we are going to play raw. I become this incredibly eager bottom and start to fall into a “BB trance” when I feel him start to penetrate me. Seriously, I start to get lightheaded and happy….almost like I am high!
So what is my body (or mind) going thru to make me fell this way about getting fucked bareback & feeling a guys cum shoot inside me?
signed,
euphoric catcher
Question #5
I am 25 claiming I am a strict top, only bottomed twice in a relationship. The times it was done it was the perfect of lube and the right position. Ever since then I have tried with one-night stands and it has just hurt too much. Is there any sex toys, better lubricants or things to loosen me up and get me more use to the experience so it doesn’t hurt so much? Any good advice would be appreciated.
Thanx
“Open minded stud”
Question #6
I have a big problem (or at least it is when it’s erect), and it’s happening more and more often. I have a bad habit of deflating about 2 minutes after I enter. Especially troubling is that I haven’t come and even more troubling is that he hasn’t either. I’m not nervous about sex and never have been, but I still face this problem. I’m only 21. I don’t know why it’s happening… and I want to get my boyfriend to orgasm without the use of a dildo. Please help, I don’t want to risk a relationship because of this.
Sincerely,
Deflated
Question #7
Hey Mr. Cruise Director
I got a question to ask. When was the longest time you when without sex? Reason I’m asking is that I’m 26 and I haven’t been sexually active in over 4 yrs now. I know what your thinking, what the fuck ? Why? Well for the past few years I had to do some self evaluation on what I wanted in life as far as my desires, dreams, plans and most of all getting to know myself better to become the man I am today. Ever since my departure from the dating and game world, I have come to understand that majority of guys are sexually driven for the moment, but afterwards, the mind is empty and unattached. I experience that before my dry spell, however I want the chicken, sex, relationship and then some. Any advice on how to get what you desire out of a guy? Should you be upfront and tell what your looking for? Should you wait?
Question #8
I am 19 y/o and in a three way relationship with two men. We all know each other, love each other, live in the same house, and sleep in the same bed. That’s really not important though, however, one of my boyfriends has an average size (or slightly longer) penis and I love to bottom for him, and his penis is just the right length and everything for me. However the second boyfriend has very much above average. Length is about 7-8 inches (never actually measured, but by eyeballing it id say it that long) but it’s thicker than a soda can. I hate to bottom for him cuz of him being so thick. The length isn’t really a problem, I mean it is a lil but after a while it’s cool, but the thickness hurts so bad and makes me feel like i’m being ripped open. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to take him inside of me better/easier and with less pain?
Question #9
Hope you’ll entertain this question as it’s not very glamorous or humorous. I need advice on being more ‘clean’ as a bottom. I just got fucked by a really hot cowboy…and although he didn’t seem to mind, when things get ‘messy’ it totally turns me off. I’ve tried enemas to no avail. Any hints on doing it properly? Perhaps I’m not following all of the steps. Also, although I’ve heard of other products out there….I really don’t know what they are or where to get them.
Question #10
I have a question about bottoming. I’m a virgin, but I’ve recently met someone that I’m comfortable with enough to have sex with. I think I’m ready, but I want my first time to be as “perfect” as it could be. I’ve tried a couple times with a finger or two. It feels nice, but after I finish… a few minutes later… I end up farting. I’ve read that it’s because air gets in the rectum when being penetrated. Does this happen to a lot of people?? Is it normal?
Question #11
One question: Why do gay men dislike their own cum??
OK, so I happen to be killing time, ‘checking to see who’s on’ when I happen to have a blip that turns out to be an amazing time in bed. Great kisser, knows what it means to be passionate and has an amazing grip . . . but then as he cums on himself, and then I finish on top of him he looks up at me and in between breaths says, “I. . hate. . cum.” This has to be at least the fifth guy, out of the last ten who have the same aversion to cum. It’s not about even about my cum, as it is cum in general.
Alright, now I’m fully aware of the stigma that the last 20 years of HIV prevention has created about semen and bodily fluids, but with these guys it feels like it’s much more than that. I’m uncut and am very aware of my own cleanliness and can appreciate someone who is trim and clean down under, and also know how quickly body funk and kill a scene but I still don’t get it. Cum is a by-product of something amazing and yes it has to be cleaned and the sheets washed, but seriously to jump into the shower two seconds after your nuts have been emptied. . I don’t get it. Is this a trend? Where does this come from? Any thoughts?
Question #12
After having a hemerroidectomy, are you able to have good anal sex afterwards? I’m afraid I may have 2nd degree hemorrhoids or anal prolapse when I have a bowel movement. You know, after a bowel movement, I have to push my “rosebud” back in…. I don’t have that fetish and I think it’s disgusting. I’ve gone to a doctor and he says it’s nothing, but he was a jerk of a doctor anyway, so I don’t believe he really looked. He rushed me out after a poke with the gloved hand… I’m so worried about having sex with a guy (I’m a virgin) because I’m afraid that if I get the surgery, he can totally tell when he puts it in. I don’t want him to be disgusted by what’s go on down there. And if I don’t get the surgery, I’m afraid that after a night of a good pounding, it gets so loose that it’ll come out. Should I really be this nervous? I’m really scared. WHY ME?!?!
I’ve changed my diet and I’m in the bathroom no more than 5 mins when taking a crap. Oh, and I’ve done some Kegels… but every time I take a crap, it gets pushed out. Then I push it back in when I wipe.
I hope you can help me out. I can’t really tell my friends about this, and I’m still looking for a doctor that is nice enough to take my concerns to consideration. You’re all I got.
Question #13
I really get off on using poppers, but lately my skin above my lips and around my nose gets a chemical burn every time I use them. do you have any advice on how to avoid this, (besides stop using them)! perhaps maybe some type of cream that can be applied before use???
Question #14
My boyfriend of 15 years has been HIV positive for 20 years and has always been very healthy. How safe is it for me to swallow his come?
Well there you have it! Gay sex questions we don’t have the time or space to answer. But you do (hopefully) so without your hands and start clicking on the keyboard and let us know how you would answer these questions.