How To Give Great Head Part 4
I have a friend who calls his penis “Richard” because it’s long for Dick. I bring this up for two reasons. One, guys will often give their penises a pet name. Two, the nickname will always insinuate that his dick is so big it’s in the next room mixing drinks.
Be that as it may, the penis can sometimes get a bad rap. We call rude, aggressive guys “pricks” and characterize cruel actions as “dick moves.” Clearly, the penis needs a little PR.
It’s all too common to oversimplify the penis as a dumb burrito, just hanging around with his two bros all day until it’s time to urinate or ejaculate. In reality, the cock is a nuanced, complicated, beautiful creation that ought to be understood and appreciated in full, not sucked or stroked mindlessly. It’s strong but sensitive, hard but fleshy and the external expression of a man’s soul. Let’s take a closer look:
Fans of The Glans
If you put a tuxedo on a guy’s penis, the glans is the part that would be above the bow tie. The head might be considered the public face of the penis, its spokesman. If the penis has got anything to say, it’s the head that will do the talking (be careful though, because it’s known to spit when it speaks). It’s the mushroom-shaped tip of the penis that is visible on guys who have been circumcised, and which magically appears when the foreskin is pulled back on uncut guys. Peekaboo!
The penis glans has a much higher concentration of nerve endings than the shaft, so the head is an essential part of bringing a man satisfaction and release. The glans has a coronal ridge separating it from the shaft (the outer edge of the “helmet”). Sexual scientists have identified the head as being the most significant area of stimulation the closer a guy is to climax, and you can only imagine the experiments that were used to reach that obvious conclusion.
The glans likes to be licked, kissed, sucked, and rubbed against the insides of your mouth and throat. It should never come in contact with your teeth for the same reason Kanye West should never come in contact with a microphone: Someone’s going to get hurt. The head of a penis is very sensitive—baring your teeth will do it no favors.
The head of the penis is more diverse and complex than it appears at first glans, so let’s get on our knees and take a closer look at what we’re about to put in our mouths.
The Eye Of The Tiger: His Peehole
Ever notice that the penis always seems to have a mischievous grin? That’s the urinary meatus, commonly known as the pee hole—the opening through which urine and cum flow. There are two lips covering the pee hole and they’re dying for a kiss. Pucker up!
Although what comes out of the pee hole may gross you out, know that there are relatively few “germs” in urine due to the ammonia it contains. If a man washes properly his dick is generally one of the cleanest parts of his body.
But the urinary meatus is more than just a utilitarian tube for bodily fluids. It is a supremely sensitive part of the custard cannon and can be tenderly stimulated by licking and kissing. In fact, here’s a little known secret: “French kissing” the pee hole will catapult you into the blowjob hall of fame contention. The sensation is so delicious, so unbelievably stimulating that the laziest guy on earth will turn to you and say, “You make me want to get a job.”
Why Is The Head Of The Penis
Shaped Like A Mushroom?
One theory is that it is designed to be more like a shovel, or specifically a “semen displacement device.” Scientists at the State University of New York at Albany speculate that the penis evolved into a shape that allowed the second or third guy entering a woman’s vagina to “scoop out” the semen of the men who ejaculated inside her prior to his own entrance.
“Thus, the human penis may enable males to substitute their semen for the semen of their competitors,” the researchers wrote.
The V-Spot: His Frenulum
Did you know that dicks have a V-spot – a sort of hot spot in an already erotic zone? It’s a small triangular region where a thin strip of skin called the frenulum attaches to the glans. The frenulum is the band of tissue that connects the foreskin on the underside of a man’s penis to the corona; on circumcised guys, the frenulum streams toward the corona in a V shape, which is how this pleasure zone derived its nickname.
The V-spot is loaded with erogenous nerves that can amplify a man’s orgasm. If it’s true that men think with their penis, then this is the command center. The V-spot responds to caressing, whether with your tongue, lips or fingers. Those who master the art of pleasing it will be rewarded with a penis that acts like a puppy at mealtime.
Get Shafted
Ahhhh, it’s time to meet Big Daddy. The shaft is what separates a two-inch cock from a ten-inch monster. It defines a guy’s sense of manhood (which is why so many guys lie about its length), and makes your mouth water when you imagine it sliding into your mouth.
The shaft is the part of the penis that runs from the base of the head to a guy’s balls, and it comes in an infinite variety of lengths, girths, curves, and textures. Sometimes it’s smooth and sometimes it’s veiny, sometimes it’s short and thick and sometimes it’s long and lanky. Sometimes the oral sex stars align and it’s long, thick, and worthy of the name “Richard.”
The shaft is filled with erectile tissue that expands and contracts based on a guy’s arousal and blood flow. Compared to the uniform sensitivity of the head, the shaft is more versatile when it comes to the amount of pressure or friction applied.
Next week: On to the balls. Never forget the balls!