Can You Eat What You Want & Stay Sexy Skinny?
Yes, if you use Habituation,
Desensitization and Delayed Gratification Techniques.
Almost everyone has a moment of reckoning about their weight gain—a moment so packed with meaning that it bursts through the damn of denial. Mine came at a department store when I was 28 and unconsciously reached for a size 36 waist pants. Wasn’t I a 34 for the last six months? And a 32 the year before?
I could no longer pretend the dry cleaners were using some kind of chemical that shrank my pants. Skinny all my life I had come to an unwanted realization: I was getting fat. And that if I didn’t change my direction I was going to end up where I was headed.
So I did what everyone else does when denial gives way to desire––I went on a binge of different diets. They all worked until they didn’t. I wondered if I couldn’t switch from a quick fix to a permanent solution.
I fantasized about the possibility of losing weight without dieting and as it happens, there is scientific literature that attests to the single most powerful way to lose weight without dieting.
It’s called eating in moderation.
There’s only one problem: Eating in moderation is difficult. For a lot of people it’s harder than dieting. So, I was on the horns of a dilemma. On the one hand eating in moderation would allow me to lose weight without dieting. On the other hand, achieving moderation would likely be as hard or harder than going on a diet.
A psychologist friend once told me that people who lost weight and kept it off didn’t have a food plan; they had an eating strategy. He talked about mindful eating and delayed gratification techniques and that gave me an idea: What if I could create a series of “eating strategies” that mixed mindful eating principles with delayed gratification techniques so that I could eat whatever I wanted, but in moderation?
The Three Word Mantra That Will Help You Lose Weight.
Welcome to a concept I call, “Postponement Of The Goods.” Whenever you come face-to-face with a delicious fat bomb (pancakes anyone?) here’s what you do:
Pause. Rate. Decide. This is your three word-mantra before you reach for any kind of food.
1. Pause. Take stock of the situation.
2. Rate The Craving. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your craving?
3. Decide Whether You’ll Eat The Food. Base it on a pre-agreed intensity level that triggers a decision to eat the food. For the sake of argument, let’s say it’s a “7”.
Let’s see how this plays out…
If: The craving intensity is “7” or higher…
Then: Eat the food now.
If: The craving intensity is six or lower…
Then: Postpone until the intensity is higher.
Notice what’s happening here. Unlike a diet, the decision you face isn’t “Yes, I can eat this or no I can’t.” It’s “Is my craving for this food strong enough to justify eating it?” Diets are about resisting temptation. Postponement Of The Goods is about yielding to it—IF your craving hits the pre-agreed trigger point.
Earn Your Body’s Trust.
If you postpone eating the food because the craving intensity didn’t meet your criteria, then you MUST eat the food when it does. Otherwise your body will see right through the manipulation and associate LATER with LIAR and go into fight or flight response. Trust is a key factor in convincing your body not to go into panic mode so it ends up wanting to binge. You must be authentic about it.
If the intensity of your craving for a problem meal hits a pre-agreed trigger, then you need to indulge. Every time. Not sometimes. Always.
Postponement of the Goods works because it spaces out the eating of problematic foods without unduly stressing the body. It teaches you discipline without suffering. There is not much pain in denying yourself a plate of spaghetti and meatballs (with lots of garlic bread!) when you kind of want it as opposed to when you really want it. This skill – – letting the intensity level of your cravings determine when you will eat high fat/high calorie foods—will, over time dramatically improve your ability to lose weight without going on a diet. Pause. Rate. Decide.
Now, I want you to notice a couple of things about Postponement of the Goods. This is not a plan about resisting temptation; it’s about yielding to it if the craving intensity meets your criteria. And the reward isn’t more food; it’s a better experience of it.
Think about that. Are you more likely to enjoy a plate of spaghetti and meatballs (with lots of garlic bread!) when your craving is at a ‘2’ or a ‘10’?
At ‘2’ it’s good, not great. At ‘10’ it’s great, not good. You will better appreciate the aroma, taste more of the flavors, and lose yourself in the experience. You want a better experience of food? Pause. Rate. Decide.
The Curse Of Low Craving Eating.
It’s a fact that most of us eat problem foods with no or low-cravings, at least part of the time. I’m not talking about ‘distracted’ eating, like emptying a bag of pretzels while you watch TV. I mean eating when you’re simply not that hungry or hungry, but not necessarily for the food you’re eating. Have you ever finished eating a bunch of ice cream and thought, “That was delicious but why did I eat it? I didn’t want it that badly.” That’s what I call low or no-craving eating.
And that’s what Postponement of the Goods cuts out—eating when you have no/low cravings. You’re going to be amazed at how many problem foods you eat with a low intensity craving–and how many you can cut out by simply postponing their intake until the craving intensity reaches the trigger mark.
So how did “Postponement of the Goods” work for me? In combination with techniques I developed to stop binging on sweets, I lost 14 pounds and two waist sizes and kept them off for 25 years without once going on a diet.
My achievement isn’t especially groundbreaking given that almost all people who eat in moderation lose weight and keep it off. The real achievement is that I developed a set of mindfulness tools that helped me achieve that ever-elusive goal of moderation.
I invite you to use “Postponement of The Goods” the next time somebody offers you something irresistible like an “Everything” Bagel. The goal isn’t to stop yourself from eating it. It’s to develop a framework for making mindful decisions rather than simply giving in to impulse. When THAT happens you’ll move your consciousness from weight loss to well-being, which ironically, results in losing weight. Remember your three-word mantra and you’ll see the weight slowly melt off: Pause. Rate. Decide.