Wet, Hot, Sticky Gay Romance.

 
Did you know that some of the best-selling books on Amazon are gay romances written by straight women?

Today we feature one of the biggies–British sensation Barbara Elsborg. She regularly writes some of the best selling gay romances on Amazon. She lives in West Yorkshire in the north of England. A morbid fear of sharks put an end to a career in marine biology. So instead, she spent years successfully selling cyanide.This is what she told us: “After dragging up two rotten, ungrateful children and frustrating my sexy, devoted, wonderful husband (who can now stop twisting my arm) I finally have time to conduct an affair with an electrifying plugged-in male, my laptop.” Enjoy!

Cowboys Down

By Barbara Elsborg

 

Jasper looked at the clock on the bedside table and groaned. If he didn’t get this jet lag sorted out fast, he’d miss all the evening meals. Once he’d reached his room, he’d shaved, decided to close his eyes or a few minutes before he checked his emails, and now it was almost three in the morning. He rolled off the bed, looked at his creased clothes and managed a grin. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d fallen asleep still dressed. I’m off to a good start in loosening up.

He spotted a piece of paper by the door and padded over. A snack had been left in the fridge. His stomach rumbled. He needed a shower and to check his messages, but that could be delayed until he’d had something to eat. Wow, I am lightening up.

According to the agenda, breakfast was at eight. It was a long while to wait when the last decent meal he’d had was dinner the night before he set off. Jasper put on his shoes, slipped out of the room, wandered along dimly lit corridors and eventually stumbled across the kitchen. He found a plate of sandwiches in the fridge along with water and soda. He took the water.

Jasper pushed open the front door, intending to sit on one of the rockers, but sucked in a breath at the chilly air. Maybe he’d stay inside.

“The one on the left creaks,” a voice said, and Jasper almost dropped everything.

Calum sat in a rocker on the other side of the door, wearing his Stetson, booted feet with spurs attached propped up on the rail of the porch. Jasper’s cock tried to unfurl. Oh dear God, is this going to happen every time I look at this guy? Nevertheless, he banished thoughts of going back indoors. If his teeth started to chatter, he’d stuff the sandwich in his mouth.

“The one next to you okay?” Jasper asked, relieved those few words came out without a squeak.

“Yep.”

Jasper settled on it and put the water on the deck. “I missed dinner.” Well, that was an impressive conversation opener.

“Yep,” Calum said.

Jasper’s shoulders sagged. So neither of them was good at conversation. Didn’t mean they wouldn’t be good at— Don’t go there. The guy was probably married with kids. Goose bumps prickled Jasper’s skin and he took a bite of the sandwich as he gazed over the dark shadows of the mountains and up into the sky, clotted with stars. The night looked blacker, the stars more plentiful and brighter than at home. Ambient light in central London made star gazing virtually impossible. Yet it was still hard to find what you were looking for in this indigo sky smothered with opportunity.

Jasper shivered. He should have worn a sweater.

Oh crap. Had Calum noticed he hadn’t even changed his clothes? His tie still hung around his neck. He ought to have washed. Fuck it. Calum could probably smell him. That thought lead to another. Jasper wanted to press his face into the cowboy’s neck and inhale him.

Probably earn a fist in the face.

Might be worth it.

I could just do it. Find out right now if I’m going to spend the week longing for the impossible.

On the other hand, Jasper knew life would be discovered on other planets before he worked up enough courage to make the first move.

Though it was him who cracked first on the conversation front. “What are you doing out here?”

“Protecting the guests from bears.”

He had Jasper for a moment. “Pretty kind of you to sacrifice yourself on our behalf,” he said.

“Yeah, well, they would have eaten me first, but now I reckon they’ll go for you and those sandwiches.”

Jasper smiled. “I miss anything at dinner, apart from food?”

“Your heroics on the plane.”

Jasper stopped smiling. “Ah.”

Calum chuckled. “Apparently, you performed the Hind Lick maneuver. The ranch hands are jealous as hell.”

Jasper burst out laughing.

“Wish I’d been there to see it.” Calum rose to his feet and stretched. “I better get back to bed. I have to be up at dawn.” There was a short pause. “You need help to find your way back to your room?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

After Calum disappeared into the ranch, his spurs jingling, Jasper let out a quiet groan. What had that question meant?

I’ll show you back to your room and say good night?

I’ll show you back to your room, shove you inside and fuck your brains out?

Jasper had an overactive and over-optimistic imagination directly linked to his cock. Now he had to sit there, and if necessary freeze to death, until his cock gave up and returned to respectability.

It wasn’t just the cowboy’s looks, it was the way he spoke, the way he moved, the way he smelled. I want him.

 

Calum closed the door of his room, leaned back against it and exhaled noisily. It wasn’t just Jasper’s looks, it was the way he spoke, the way he moved, the way he smelled. I want him.

This was going to be a long, frustrating week.

He threw his hat onto the chair and shucked off his clothes as he made his way to the bed. He hadn’t got his jeans all the way down before he wrapped his hand around his erect cock and began to pump. Kicking his way out of his clothes, Calum knelt by the side of his bed and yanked open his bedside cabinet. He pulled out a sandwich bag, squirted lube inside, then squished up the plastic to spread the gel around. Calum slid his cock into the bag and pushed it between the mattress and the box spring base. To think he’d complained when Vera had ordered him a new bed and he’d lost the one with wooden slats. Calum shuddered with pleasure at the pressure on his cock, the slick feel of the lube, and then leaned over the bed, grabbed the quilt in his fists and thrust his hips back and forth.

Calum had a hundred-and-one ways to make himself come without the aid of a partner or a hand. He wondered if there was anything he hadn’t tried, wouldn’t try. With his cock trapped in wet, tight heaven, this felt pretty good, not his favorite, but maybe as near to actual fucking as he could get. Then a jolt of awareness hit him that he was fucking his bed and his hips faltered.

He closed his eyes and tried to think of the last guy he’d fucked, but the face of the Texan faded and it was the uptight Englishman who filled his head. That thin blue tie. Calum wanted to wrap it around Jasper’s wrists, his mouth, his cock—oh fuck, fuck. His breathing speeded up and he shunted his hips faster, pressing his chest down on the bed. His balls ached as if they’d been pumped up like an overfilled water balloon. His cock grew hotter by the second and his nerves hummed with tension. Ah Christ, this is fast.

As if he’d been grabbed by a grizzly bear, orgasm seized him and shook him hard. Calum convulsed and slammed his face into the bed to muffle his cry as his come spurted out in long, hard blasts into…Jasper’s ass. Nice thought.

 

Jasper struggled with the lock on his door until he realized that it didn’t work and he’d obviously not locked it when he’d left. He’d tell someone in the morning, but then would that look as if he thought someone was going to steal from him? He didn’t want to further piss off Calum’s father. Jasper flipped open the button on his pants and eased down his zipper with a faint moan. My bloody cock hurts. How the hell was he going to manage to spend a week near Calum Neilson with a dick that was going to stand up and wave a flag if the guy came into sight? How could he even ride with an erection? He’d have to wank off before he left his room and even then, that wouldn’t work. Jasper was usually proud of his recovery time, but now he saw it as an inconvenience.

He stripped and folded his clothes. Not that he could wear them again until they were laundered. He hung up the rest of his things in the closet and ignored his boner. By the time he’d neatly placed his underwear and socks in the chest of drawers, his cock was even harder and leaking pre-come. Too much thinking about the cowboy. Jasper sighed. Shower and wank.

His room was at the end of the hallway, so he hoped he wouldn’t disturb anyone by showering at this early hour. He hated to think what he smelled like. He sniffed under his arms and winced. Jasper checked for shampoo and soap and turned on the water. His hand was working his cock even before he’d stepped under the flow. He drew his fist down to his swollen balls before slowly dragging his hand up again. Jasper felt obliged to hurry, still concerned about the sound carrying, though imagining Calum in the shower with him meant speed wasn’t a problem. What the fuck had the cowboy being doing awake at this time of the morning?

Would he be there tomorrow?

While one hand pumped at the base of his cock, Jasper rubbed the crest with his thumb, teasing the foreskin over the tip before pushing it down to let his palm wrap around the head. More shampoo on his hands and he worked his cock faster, squeezing hard. Orgasm built inside him like a brewing storm. Dark clouds rolled in, his vision wavered and his balls tingled as if low-wattage electricity hummed through his veins. Jasper turned to face the tiles, wrapped both hands around his shaft and shunted his hips faster and faster as he jerked his hands in a matching rhythm.

Fire raced down his spine and long ribbons of come spurted into…Calum’s ass. Nice thought.

 

Jasper managed a couple more hours sleep before breakfast, but he’d set his alarm to give him time to check his emails. He’d meant to look at them when he came back to his room but been distracted by his cock. Nothing urgent in his inbox—yet—though he still had to reply to fifteen messages. One of his important clients hadn’t reacted well to the news that Jasper was taking a week’s holiday. Despite reassurances that a colleague would be available to deal with any problems, the client would probably still email him every day. And because Jasper was a conscientious idiot, he’d respond.

There was no sign of Calum in the dining room, and Jasper wanted to hit himself upside the head for looking. He introduced himself to the other guests while they collected food from a buffet but picked a place to sit on his own toward the end of the long communal table. The moment he sat, he realized it was the wrong thing to do, but if he got up and moved, he’d look even more stupid. While everyone else tucked into huge amounts of food, Jasper had two slices of toast, an apple and coffee. He’d never seen plates piled so high with such a mixture—fruit, bacon, sausage, pancakes and maple syrup running into scrambled eggs. Everyone ate as if this were their last meal.

Janie and Melissa came to sit either side of him and Jasper sighed into his coffee.

“That all you’re eating?” Janie pressed her leg against his.

“Not very hungry,” Jasper lied. He was far more concerned about throwing up when the time came to sit on a horse.

“We missed you at dinner last night,” Melissa said. “What if I’d choked again?”

He glanced at her expecting to see a smile, but she was serious. Oh God. When Jasper felt the push of her leg as well, he locked his knees together.

“Do you know Prince William and Kate?” Melissa asked.

“No.”

“Have you met Queen Elizabeth?” asked Janie.

“Yes.” She’d given his father an award and Jasper had been with him.

“Wow,” Melissa said. “I had my life saved by a friend of the Queen of England.”

Jasper opened his mouth to correct her and then thought—why bother? When she turned to tell the couple next to her, he wished he had. By the time it had spread around the table, he’d probably be a minor royal. He picked up his toast and put it down again. There was no way he could eat anything. Why wasn’t he in Greece looking forward to exploring an ancient amphitheater?

“Morning, folks,” Erik said as he walked into the room. “A beautiful day for riding. And if by lunchtime, your aching muscles tell you they’ve had enough, we have fishing or a scenic Jeep trip arranged for this afternoon.”

I can lie in the sun and do nothing all day. I don’t have to ride.

“It’s up to the wranglers to pick you out a pony. Don’t argue or you’ll find you get the most ornery animal we have and he’ll drive you crazy by the end of the day because he won’t go one damn place you ask him, and he won’t move a fraction faster than he wants to.”

Sounded like a dream horse to Jasper. His hand slipped over the roll of sugar-free mints in his pocket. The way to any horse’s heart. Though knowing his luck, he’d probably get a mutant horse that hated mints. He slipped the apple into his other pocket.

“Now I can see some of you are already dressed in suitable clothes.” Erik smiled at the two couples standing near him who were in tatty jeans, long-sleeve shirts and vests. “Don’t forget your hats.”

Erik wandered down the table to Melissa and Janie, who got up to pose. “You look real pretty, ladies, but you’ll ruin those outfits.”

“That’s okay. We bought lots with us.” Melissa gave him a broad smile.

Jasper had been trying to think what the two of them reminded him of and he suddenly got it. The cowgirl in the animated movie about toys he’d watched while babysitting his neighbors’ kids. White shirts trimmed with yellow, jeans with cow-print chaps and red cowboy hats dangling down their backs.

Erik looked at their boots.

“Seven pairs of boots too,” Janie said.

Christ. No wonder they had so much luggage.

“Something wrong with the food?” Erik snapped.

That was aimed at him. Jasper flinched. “No, I—”

“Boss,” Pete called from the door. “Can I have a word?”

As Erik walked away, Jasper sighed. He was dressed okay, wasn’t he? No tie, a crisp, cream cotton shirt and blue chinos tucked into his old riding boots. And he wasn’t going to care if he got dirty.

Well, not too much.

He’d packed a stain remover just in case.

One look at the wranglers leaning on the corral fence and the line of horses at their side and a day by the pool seemed even more attractive. I look like an idiot. Jasper hadn’t mastered the art of dressing down. He’d very nearly put on his tie, but it was his boots that looked stupid. Knee high, tight and black, they were show-jumper’s boots. He held the riding helmet behind his back. He’d assumed they’d all need hard hats for insurance purposes and he had one of his own, so why not bring it?

Because no one else was going to be wearing one.

He saw a couple of sly nudges and mutters pass between the wranglers when they saw his boots, but actually, in the grand scale of things, he didn’t care. Jasper was far more concerned about not freaking out when it was time to mount the horse. His heart thumped like an overloud bass on a car music system and his mouth had lost all moisture. Good thing Calum wasn’t around to laugh at him too.

Oh shit, of course he is.

Calum walked over with his father and Pete. Christ, he was wearing chaps. Well, Pete was too but Jasper wasn’t looking at Pete. Something about the way the leather—

“Who’s first?” Erik asked.

That won’t be me. Jasper set his jaw. He had a list of excuses to avoid climbing over the fence. A need to retrieve something from his room, a stone in his boot, a coughing fit, an urge to take a leak, to get a drink, spontaneous combustion, alien abduction—oh, he could be very inventive.

Melissa climbed over the fence. “Yaaaay. Me first.”

Jasper watched as Pete spoke quietly to Melissa and then signaled to a stocky wrangler who led a gray horse into the corral. Melissa looked like she’d been born in the saddle.

One by one, each guest showed what they could do and the line of horses grew smaller as they rode away. They all looked enthusiastic and competent. Great. When Jasper had filled in the details of his riding experience on the booking form, that he’d ridden for several years, he’d neglected to mention something rather important. His stomach roiled. The only good news was that as a guest met with Erik’s approval, they left with a wrangler so in the end, only Pete, Calum and Erik remained to witness Jasper’s humiliation.

Not sure my feet are going to move. I really need to piss. Oh Christ. Is that a spaceship?

“Your turn.” Erik smirked at Jasper’s knee-high black boots. “Show jumper?”

“No,” Jasper muttered, though once upon a time he had been.

His fingers clenched around the helmet. He slammed it onto his head and clipped it in place before he could change his mind. Jasper averted his gaze so he didn’t catch anyone’s eye, particularly Calum’s, but anxiety ballooned in his chest, making it hard to swallow the bile surging up his throat. He sensed he was fighting a losing battle to control his nerves. Even the thought of taking the apple bribe from his pocket made him feel sick.

“Climb over and show us what you can do,” Erik said.

Oh God, shit, fuck, crap. As if he could read Jasper’s mind, the horse gave him a look of disdain, flaring his nostrils.

Erik gave an impatient sigh. “When you’re ready.”

“One minute,” Jasper mumbled, turned and threw up. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Shit,” Pete muttered.

Jasper didn’t think he had that much in his stomach but he’d been mistaken. Oh God. He dragged a tissue from his pocket and wiped his mouth. “I’m sorry. I’ll clean it up if you’d point me in the—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Erik said.

“You okay?” Calum asked.

“Must have eaten something that disagreed with me.” Jasper backed away. “Sorry.”

He practically ran back to the ranch, tearing off his helmet as he went. Why the hell had he thought forcing himself to confront this was the way to go? There were plenty of other things to do in life, why throw himself over this particular cliff?

Note to self: Look more carefully before I leap. I might land in quicksand.
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