www.divine-interventions.com.
Even that’s a little too much for woody. Probably your best bet is a “script-tease” blanket. It’s a bedspread with Velcro backing that lets you spell out words. Basically, it turns your bed into a horizontal billboard.
Here’s how to do it: When he’s not around, spread the blanket over the bed just as you would a bedspread. Take the letters that come in the package and make your own message. Could be as simple as “I love you.” Then let him discover it on his own. Imagine his reaction when he opens the bedroom door and sees the bed.
I know what mine would be: I’d hurl. The only time I want to see “I love you” written on my bed is when it’s written in cash.
You don’t have to limit yourself to clichés with the “Script Tease” blanket. For instance, it can serve as a great passive-aggressive message board for fetishists (“if you want the boy next door, go next door”), or requests from the diplomatically-challenged (“blow me, bitch!), or a message of religious clarity should you bring home an evangelical (“Jesus loves you. He’s not *in* love with you”).