Q:
My boyfriend and I sleep in separate beds. Most of my friends think this is weird and predict our relationship is doomed. Do you think it’s true? They’re saying we don’t really love each other.
— Sleeping Soundly
Well, it all depends on why you’re not sleeping together. If it’s because he smells like road kill or because you’re banishing him to the couch for screwing the pool boy AGAIN, then, yeah, you’ll probably break up. But there are lots of happy couples that don’t sleep together. According to the National Sleep Foundation, 25% of couples don’t share their mattresses. You can have a great relationship in bed without actually sleeping in it. “Separately-bedroomed” couples usually go to bed together, have sex, cuddle, talk, fantasize about the new guy at the gym—you know, the usual things gay couples talk about—and then one partner gets up and sleeps in another bedroom.
When they wake up, one gets out of his bed and climbs onto the other one’s to cuddle, have sex and talk about the new guy at the gym.
Why do some couples sleep separately? Usually one partner snores too loudly, likes a wildly different room temperature, or simply gets more restful sleep when they’re alone. Unless you know why a couple is sleeping separately you shouldn’t rush to judgment. That’s my job.