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Why Your Boyfriend Reacts to Sex Toys The Way Teabaggers React to Healthcare

As I watch the continuing lunacy of the right wing reaction to passing healthcare reform, I thought, “Hey, wait a minute, that’s how a lot of guys react when their wives try to pass Sexcare Reform.” Nobody likes third party intrusions into their personal life.

The fears are frighteningly similar:

1. Nobody wants a sexcare system where a dummy stands between the patient and Dr. Feelgood. Really, it’s socialized sexcare. Men will have to wait longer to have their needs taken care of.
2. Do we really want the bureaucrats at AdamAndEve.com handling something as complex as our orgasms? I mean, aren’t men better equipped to provide what their wives and girlfriends need?
3. Adult toy-controlled sexcare would lead to socialism. And then where will you be when the whole community wants to take care of your girlfriend?

4. Malpractice lawsuits would rise, since toys for adults would be available to everyone. And women would get sick of male incompetence.
5. Sexcare reform will saddle our children with exploding deficits. ’nuff said.

Teabaggers who can’t accept their fate should take a lesson from men who initially fought their mate. These men are very happy now. All it took was a few demonstrations and BAM! They were sold.

It’s the same with Teabaggers. They just haven’t seen their new government toy in action. Once they see the smiles on the faces of the people they love (because the government instruments gave them a new lease on life) they’ll settle down.

Many boyfriends and husbands had bad initial reactions to their women introducing erotic toys into the bedroom. “What if she starts preferring the toys over me?” is a typical question I get to my sex advice column. My answer? Nonsense. Can a sex toy cuddle? Kiss? Whisper in her ear? Provide an emotional bond? Make her feel desirable? She may love her erotic toy but it won’t love her back.

Men, like Teabaggers, often feel threatened by third party intrusions. But it’s short lived. Watching your partner explode with ecstasy turns out to be one of the greatest turn-ons of all time. What man wouldn’t want to give his woman an orgasm that makes the neighbors light a cigarette?

Besides, toys are enhancements, not substitutions. Even the most combative men calm down when you remind them that the best carpenters use power tools.

Female toys, like healthcare reform, are not going to kill your love life (or your quality of life). Hell, they’ll raise it from the dead. Maybe the boyfriends and husbands who first objected to adult toys can show the Teabaggers how to use them. The French call orgasms “the little death.” Maybe the Teabaggers could put a little life in those Death Panels.

Check out my new sex toy videos (G rated!)

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